The Fifth Element
8/18/97 Update
6/23/97 Update
6/16/97 Update
6/9/97 Update
In 1914, an archaeologist in Egypt studies some ancient glyphs detailing an event that occurs every 5000 years. According to the inscription, the alignment of three planets opens a portal to a malevolent entity that can only be defeated by the combination of four stones--represent the four elements wind, fire, rain and earth--with a fifth element. Even as the archaeologist reaches this conclusion, a priest who has come to visit the site attempts to murder all those involved--cryptically stating that they know too much. Before the priest can carry out his plans, however, a space craft piloted by the Mondoshawan descends. The Modoshawan--an alien race most closely resembling plump vultures in variegated metal suits--concur with the priest assessment that the archaeologist know too much and they have concluded that the four stone and the fifth element are no longer safe on Earth. Retrieving them, the Mondoshawan promise to return in 300 years when the portal opens and assist Earth in vanquishing the malevolent entity that will appear.
The three hundred years pass. The portal opens. The malevolent entity appears and the Mondoshawan return only to be shot down by the Mangalore--a race of beast warriors--hired by an industrialist named Zorg to steal the four stones. (The malevolent entity has somehow been in contact with Zorg already.) Although the Mangalore recover the crate that supposedly contains the stones from the wreckage, it is empty. In addition, Earth recovers a strange hand from wreckage--a hand whose DNA is 500 times more complex than human DNA. Using a reconstructor Earth scientist rebuild Leeloo. Unknown to them, she is the fifth element, the last element necessary for the survival of Earth. Leeloo soon escapes and fall into the arms of Korben Dallas, a cab driver who recently retire from a special forces unit. The rest of the movie is a romp through exotic locales as Korben delivers Leeloo to a priest who understands her function; as the government recruits Dallas to find the stones; as the Mangalore attempt to stop him and as Dallas, Leeloo, the priest and a pair of sidekicks eventually united the elements and save the planet . . . at least for the next 5000 years.
Brash Reflections
If you like eye-candy and you don't mind a lurching, disconnected and contrived plot, you'll probably really enjoy this movie! The visual effects are gorgeous--truly extraordinary! Interesting aliens, cool ships: lots of oohs and aahs in that respect. Unfortunately, the story is light on background and character development and it's pretty easy to guess where the plot is going after the first few minutes. In addition, the entire movie feels very much like there are important facts that the creators never bothered to pass along. I visited the Fifth Element web site and--several times--found myself thinking, "Oh! So that's why so-and-so did that!"
As far as performances go, Leeloo is fascinating, Dallas is well . . . Bruce Willis, Ruby Rhod is irritatingly good, Zorg never really conveys any believable malevolence and Cornelius is just your typical Hollywood bumbling priest.
There are some genuinely funny moments in the film but they are few and far between. There is also at least one crude trampish scene that added nothing but a cheap laugh. And there were times--in particular when Dallas is battling the Mangalore--that it felt like someone has switched movie reels by accident. (For a few minutes, I thought I was watching another "Die Hard" sequel!)
On a final general note, I was suprised on reflection that the movie garnered a PG-13 rating. I wasn't expecting to see bare breasts in a movie rated PG-13 but Leeloo strips off her top more than once. True, it happens in the background but at the end of the reconstruction scene, she laid out in a containment unit and . . . well . . . there she is!
As for nitpicking, there were several painfully contrived occurrences: Leeloo jumps from a mega-high skyscraper, falls through a dozen levels of hovercars and just happens to crash in Dallas's cab--a man who just happens to be a retired special forces guy who just happens to get recruited for the undercover mission to retrieve the stones. If that's not bad enough, Zorg later gives the priest Cornelius a speech about the wonders of technology only to start choking on a cherry so the priest can help him out and pontificate on the fact that technology isn't all it's cracked up to be.
There are plenty of other minor things like timers being off and lighting not functioning as it would but I've rambled enough and I need to get this uploaded so I'll leave it to you fellow nitpickers to do the rest!
Oh wait: I did want to mention the "thermal bandages." After Leeloo is reconstructed, the scientists wrap her naked body in "thermal bandages." One would presume that these bandages are designed to preserve her body heat like thermal underwear. Strangely enough, the thermal bandages consist of five or six strategically placed horizontal Ace bandages and a small triangularly shaped panty held together by a few vertical strips! And, of course, we as the viewing audience are then treated to Leeloo frolicking through scenes for the next twenty minutes or so in these "thermal bandages" that obviously have no other function than to insure that we realize Leeloo is, in fact, the "perfect" creation! (At least in the eyes of the creators. I would imagine that the actress had to audition in a body suit or naked to get this part!) Seems like a pretty lame piece of techno-babble to me! If the creators wanted to dress her skimpy . . . fine. But . . . "thermal bandages"?!?)
Reflections from the Guild
[Note from Phil: I have not verified these but they sounded good to me!]
Matt Nelson: I don't know if you've seen this yet, but it's a very good film, and I recommend it. However, it didn't stop me from noticing a thing or two (Does it ever? =).
In the beginning, when the Trundlebots
When Leeloo is in the cloning tank (And THAT is a cool effect), just
before she punches her way out, it looks as though there is already a
shape cut out for her to puch through. Guess they didn't want the
actress to hurt her hand.
Katrina Pipinis: Okay, I saw The Fifth Element a couple of days ago -- not exactly
something that made be stand up and applaud, but still a good movie.
Really interesting plot, a new way to save the world! And some good
lines too: "anyone else wanna negotiate?" being my fave.
Now, lets move onto the nits (that I remember -- and most of these are
really observations)
A 47! I couldn't believe it! A 47 in something other than Star
Trek! I nearly had a a heart attack in my seat. I think it happens at
the McDonalds, and they were talking about a patrol car, can you check
that?
Federated Territory, huh? Anyone else smell a Star Trek rip off?
They also mentioned a Federation. Hmmmmmm.....
And while we're on the topic of rip offs, I think that there's a rip
off of Back to the Future II. Those food things that you stick something
really itty bitty into, and it comes out a full meal look really familiar
-- not to mention those flying cars.
If that's how 23rd Century fashions are going to go, then I am
oh-so-glad I live in the 20th.
Again, Hollywood proves that Only Americans can Save the World.
THAT was the perfect living being? She kicked hose big Uglies into
oblivion pretty well, then made a big fuss over humanity's problems? A
bit hypocritical, I think. And just how did she know about 23rd Century
Earth's fashions to make her hair bright red? She hadn't been there for
5000 years. Somewhere along the line they insinuate that she was the one
who saved the univers the last time around.
Surely she, the perfect living being, knew that the stones weren't in
that box. She should have let the Uglies take the box and concerned
herself with the diva.
How come Earth is the site where Good Triumphs over Evil? I think the
homeworld of those Robotic whatchamicallits would have been a better
place, but then, Earthcentric behaviour triumphs over evil.
So, just what happened to that big nasty ball of rock that came
oh-so-close to annihilating all life as we know it? Did it
disintegrate? Did humanity colonize it and have a couple of wars on it?
I liked the diva. Conehead crossed with Bolian crossed with Octopus.
How come Luke Perry got his name in the opening credits when he had
something like six lines in the first ten minutes? (Note from Phil: That's what star power will do for you!)
What a charming view of the future. I've been poisoned by the
Utopian Earth society we see in Star Trek.
About those stones, when they come out of the diva's gut, they're
covered in blue gunk, but when they're being put into position in Egypt,
they're beautifully clean. Did they take time out from being chased by
bad guys and worrying about that dirty great ball in the sky to run the
stones under some high tech tap?
Korben had to PERSUADE the perfect living being to save all the
universe. She would have let all life as they knew it die because one
little species keeps having arguments with itself. Again, I ask: THAT
was the perfect living being?
And one final gripe: McDonald's and Coke in the 23rd Century? I did
just mention that I've been poisoned by Star Trek, didn't I?
Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the movie! I haven't got any fingernails
left!
Brian O'Marra, Little Rock, AR: First, I thought the special effects were topnotch. I loved the crewship
in space idea. The scene of the opera where the blue alien is singing
and you can see the Earth through the ceiling window was well done.
However, I only saw the movie once. It was tough to follow...a little
long! Hence I forgot the characters names and such, so here goes my one
and only nit....
The savior (a woman) is super strong. She can jump off a building into
tiers of traffic of flying cars and rip through the roof of Bruce
Willis' cab without a scratch. However, when the evil arms merchant
fires through the ceiling on the crewship, where she's hiding, she's
bleeding!
In other words, when a piece of metal (Bruce Willis' car roof) is
heading toward her body at high speed, because she's falling, her body
is unharmed. When a piece of metal (a bullet) is heading for her body at
top speed her body is injured!! Go figure!!
Lisa Shock, Phoenix,AZ: How could the fifth element know language? She was grown from an arm! Why did the shower go to "autowash"? If things are scarce, the best
default setting is off.
How could the Asian lunch vendor have so much time to chat? If he
dropped off the food, and moved on, he'd be able to serve maybe ten
people in half an hour instead of just one.
The hide-away things in the apartment are poorly placed and make no
real sense. It would be better if the storage areas in the walls
were part of the apartment, they would add a bit of room.
The alien craft attacking Earth at the end should have destroyed the
planet. When it was blown up it was only 65 miles away. It was very
large, (I've forgotten how large the diameter) and the tidal forces
should have ripped up most of the Earth.
6/9/97 Update
Bob Sabatini: They said that the ball of fire was 12000 km in diamater, and it stoped
62 miles away from earth. First of all, isn't the earth 12000 km in
diamiater itself (can someone check me please!?)? however, even if
it's not, shouldn't the ball cause great damage to tides, since it
is much closer and much bigger than the moon?
about that, why was the diamater of the ball counted in km
and the distance to the ball in miles?
I know this may be (and probably is) a coinicidence, but I was annoied
when the poliece car in the drive up at McDonalds got a report of a runaway
cab responded somthing like "This
is unit 47..." and I thought that when summer came we'd be free from
what is becomming the most annoYING NUMBER IN EXISTANCE!
Matthew Chiappardi of Hamilton, NJ: Not really a nit, but no one mentioned how annoying Chris Tucker's
performance was in this movie. It took away from a movie that was
already beautifully edited and overstuffed with info. Thankfully Bruce
Willis's and Gary Oldman's performances lift the movie away from Tucker.
I saw this film in New York City, and my biggest nit is the $9.00 movie
ticket :)
Murray Leeder: I haven't seen this movie yet, but in his review of it, Roger Ebert
wondered that a creature cloned from a single cell would have black
roots!
Katrina Pipinis: I've been perusing the nits for the Fifth Element, and I'm really
confused. Lisa Shock said that the big nasty ball blew up, but (and this
is my really bad memory talking here) I DON'T REMEMBER THAT HAPPENING! I
remember that when Leeloo did her stuff, the big ball stopped moving and
went all dark, but I don't remember it blowing to bits! I think I'd
remember that. Then again, it's been a couple of weeks since I saw it.
Please enlighten me before I drive myself mad wondering just what
happened.
Matt Nelson said that the robotic race might have been destroyed and the
stones could have gone with them, but the same thing could have happened
on Earth! Personally, I think there should have been two lots of the
stones and two sites where Good could've triumphed over Evil (can you
imagine the mad dash there'd be then? We've gotta get to this one before
the Evil guy gets to the other one, and we gotta make sure that Leeloo
doesn't have a change of heart and make it all the more stressful for the
audience and make Bruce Willis give her the "we're not all bad" lecture
and... well, you get the idea.)
Back to Lisa Shock and the fact that Leeloo knew language... well, they
did say that her DNA was 500 times more complex than our own... it could
be that the language was simply programmed into her DNA (I'm only
guessing here!)
The "Asian lunch vendor" might simply be one of those people who like to
talk. Sure it might be more efficient if he just dropped off the food
and went, but efficiency might not be one of the prime factors in his
personality.
Brian Straight: Shawnee, Kansas: It's been a while but here are a few nits that i rembered.
These "thermal bandages" are very interestin things. As you stated it looks
like a few rolls of Ace Bandages are shot from oneside of the chamber to the
other, and are pulled taut at the other end. Yet when Leeloo gets up the
"bandages" have wrapped around her back, connected together (seamlessly), and
they even developed the little "panty" and some more bandages go up her
thighs and up chest (then around her neck) to hold everything together.
So just how can these Mangalords change to human form? (Are they the
Founders?)
What is the purpose in the outside perimeter (the green/red lights)? The
Momchians have to wait for a green light to get through, but the Mangalords
just fly on through. (Why not make some kind of forcefeild there)?
When Leeloo crashes through Korben's cab a computer tells him he has one
point left on his liscense (I'm not sure how the point system works, but
would it really count against him if sombody crashed INTO him rather than him
doing the crashing?)
This movie only further proves that radio will NEVER die, we'll even revert
back to having radio programs. Why not have a TV broadcast Ruby?
Wouldn't the air be pretty thin so high up above New York streets?
Wouldn't the bulky police uniforms hinder a foot chase, ruining any and all
dexterity?
The police try to blow Korben out of the sky because they believe he is a car
theif.
1. Where is the SOLID proof? 2. Did he provoke an attack? (Police, as we now
them, can shoot unless they fear for their life or another. 3. Wouldn't the
debris from his cab cause more accidents below?
The cab takes quite a licking.
The CGI in the cloning sceen looks cheap. It's cool, but looks cheap.
Tell me. Why do they sedate the passengers during the flight, but not the
flight attendants, or pilots.
The PC in the priest's apartment dosen't look much different from the ones we
have today.
And finally. At the spaceport a Ticket Agent apologies to Korben for the
trash ( I asume she's refering to the large mess in the backgorund) so...
that isn't supposed to be there? Did the sanatation service just DUMP this in
the spaceport?
Gareth Wilson: When Leeloo is reconstructed, everyone is surprised that she is female.
This is despite the DNA scan they did beforehand.
The reconstruction process starts with a severed hand in a metal glove.
The rest of the body is built as an extension of the hand. The metal
glove seems to disappear after the reconstruction process.
The symbols for "wind" and "water" appear to be the identical on the
stone blocks.
The blue alien opera singer doesn't seem big enough to hide four large
stone blocks inside her abdomen.
Ray Andrade: I loved the movie. When I saw the previews a month
before I knew there would be cheese in it but what can I say? I'm a sucker
for Bruce Willis movies.
One thing I didn't understand though. Why does the
infinite evil overlord of the cosmos smere chocolate syrup on forheads? We
saw it first on the ship captain and later on Zorg. I guess Luc Besson was
going to explain it but ended up on the cutting room floor.
Also, even though the plot was lacking you have to
admit that the editing was perfect. Luc Besson really overused lightning
mixes though. It worked out for the best in the end. (Note from Phil: Call me silly but I still go to a movie to see a good story! ;-)
6/16/97 Update
Ray Andrade: An explanation: In regards to my recent brash reflection for the Fith Element. I
used to watch films for good story too. Unfortunatly my mind was polluted
by film school. I find it hard to watch a movie and not pay attention to
the shooting angles and cross editing.
Steve Brandon: The friendly aliens arrive at a border checkpoint which enables or
prohibits access to our Solar System. This checkpoint consists of a line
of space "traffic lights" spaced approximately 100 meters apart, which
flash green if you are permitted to cross, and red if you are not. I
spotted two problems:
a) Apparently, future humans borrowed Klingon mine-laying techniques
and adapted them for the "traffic lights". They forgot that space is
three-dimensional. Why not just go over or under them?
b) There is only about (my estimate) 100 meters between lights, and
only a limited number of the lights shown on the screen. But the few
lights that are on the screen form a definite arc, orbiting the sun. The
problem with this is that they are so far out from the sun that at that
distance, they should only appear to be a straight line, not an arc. The
curvature of the arc at this point should be unnoticeable.
At one point, Bruce Willis gets a letter. It's printed on transparent
plastic. I know that they're trying to make it look futuristic, but what
is the point of making it tranparent? (We also see the same thing in the
relatively near future of "Back to the Future: Part II"). This is
useless, as it would make it hard to read, and impossible to write on
both sides. If they have paper shortages in the future, I know a plant
that is a great substitue for trees, as it grows back very quickly. Some
people would have you believe hemp is the best source of paper, but I
say bamboo is better, as the Chinese have been using it for eons.
Oh good, they have McDonald's in the future. I'm so relieved! I was a
little nervous, as you never see any fast-food places in "Star Trek",
and, even worse, "Demolition Man" informed us that Taco Bell was the
only survivor of the "Franchise Wars". However, with the exception of
Coca-Cola, the food products that they sell don't have the same names as
the ones they sell now. Presumably if the name "McDonald's" survives the
centuries, "Big Mac" their most famous product name also would. Hmm, I
wonder why you never see McDonald's in Trek. We've seen coffee shops,
pubs, New Orleans eateries and fancy restaurants but never a McDonald's.
There should be someone somewhere in the 24th Century who wants to keep
the fast food tradition alive. For legal reasons, maybe Paramount
couldn't use the name "McDonald's", but they could call it "McRonald's"
or something. That's what I'd like to see in Trek!
You like stock tips, eh? Have I got one for you. Invest in Viz
comics! They are a San Francisco based outfit that translates Japanese
Manga comics such as "Ranma 1/2" into English for the North American
market, and they also dub/subtitle Japanese animated videos. In "The
Fifth Element", we see an overhead shot of Bruce Willis lying in his
bed. Next to him we see two Viz "Graphic Novels", "Sanctuary" by Ryochi
Ikegami and "Adolf" by Ozamu Tezuka. They even have the exact same
covers as today!
Supplemental: Yesterday, I wrote about the durability of the
TransAmerica Pyramid in San Francisco. I forgot to mention that it leads
the same charmed life in other Sci-Fi series. In an early episode of
"Sliders", Quinn et al. slide to an Earth where the sea level has risen
several hundred feet. They only keep from drowning by clinging to the
side of the TransAmerica Pyramid, which seems, somehow, to be mostly
intact. So, let us review: Earthquakes, nuclear blasts and risisng sea
levels. The TransAmerica Pyramid can survive them all!
6/23/97 Update
Kekoa Kaluhiokalani: At the end of the opening teaser, one of the Mondoshawan doesn't make it out
of the temple-thingy in time. He hands the key to the priest and then gets
shut in. Owing to the fact that he's got a metal body and all, I am
surprised that when Willis and Co. reenter the precinct hundreds of years
later there isn't a corpse, no shell, no husk remaining of the lost
Mondoshawan. Perhaps he was made of biodegradable metal?
8/18/97 Update
P.G. Walman: Two things: Leeloo was "perfect". It was interesting that during the close-up of her face while she was agonizing over war in earth's past, you can easily make out her bottom row of
teeth. They were definitely not perfect as you would expect a perfect human's teeth to be.
Second: Some other Nitpickers have commented on the "big round ball" and how it would affect
the earth's gravity. If I'm not mistaken, no one ever mentioned that this ball was a planet
or an asteroid. It came from something completely foreign and unknown. So how can anyone
say that it has gravity or corresponds to any know laws of physics....pure speculation and
surly not a nitpick.
If you would like to add some comments,
drop me a note at chief@nitcentral.com.
Please put "The Fifth Element" in the Subject line and include your real
name, city and state (or province and county as the case may be) in the body
of the e-mail so I can give you credit if you are the first person to bring
up a particular nit. (Remember the legalese: Everything you submit becomes
mine and you grant me the right to use your name in any future publication
by me. I will do my best to give you credit if you are the first person to
submit a particular nit but I make no guarantees. And finally, due to the
volume of mail received at Nitpicker Central, your submission may or may
not be acknowledged. However, your submission will earn you a membership in the Nitpickers Guild if you are not already a member!)
Copyright 1997 by Phil Farrand. All Rights Reserved.