NITPICKER'S GUILD NEWSLETTER
April 1996
Volume 3, Number 1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
NOTES FROM THE CHIEF
March 25, 1996
Greetings Fellow Nitpickers and Proud Members of the Nitpickers
Guild!
First, a heartfelt thank you for your kind responses to The
Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II
(NextGen II, released November 1995). It's always nice to hear
that people are enjoying my work. I believe the first print run
for the book was 60,000 copies and most of those were shipped
out by the end of 1995. In addition, both the NextGen and Classic
Guides are still selling well. For that--as always--I do thank
you. Unfortunately, I don't have any current numbers for you on
those books. I've been busy with The Nitpicker's Guide for
Deep Space Nine Trekkers (DS9 Guide).
And speaking of the DS9 Guide, in case you haven't heard,
it will be out this fall and will cover the first four seasons
of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Dell was concerned that
we wouldn't be able to include all of the episodes in the current
season so they moved the release date back to December as opposed
to the "normal" released month for the guides, November.
This means the DS9 Guide won't show up on the shelves until sometime
during the second or third week of November. So, when you don't
see it appear on the bookshelves in October--as Guides normally
do in the US and Canada--don't worry. It will be along shortly.
Obviously, I have a few more episodes to go for the DS9 Guide
(nine to be exact) since the fourth season hasn't concluded yet,
but I'll be nitpicking those episodes as they waft their way to
me over the ether!
By the way, you might not be surprised to learn that we have
a new editor! (I go through them too quickly!) Long time members
of the Guild will remember that Jeanne Cavelos was the original
editor for the Guides. She worked on the NextGen and Classic Guides.
Then, Jeanne left to teach in New England and Eric Wybenga took
the helm for the NextGen II Guide. After completing that book,
he made the big leap into freelance writing. Then came Kristin
Kiser. She began with the DS9 Guide but left last year to work
with another company. (Really, for truly, I am not that
hard to work with!) Anyway, our new editor is Kathleen
Jayes. She's been very kind and a good editor and I've enjoyed
working with her! The bulk of the book is now at the copy editing
stage which means that it has officially been released to production.
Yea!
The Nitpickers Guild marches on. It currently has over 4550
known members from 24 countries (Australia, Austria, Belgium,
Brazil, Canada, Republic of China, Denmark, Germany, Ireland,
Israel, Italy, Japan, Mexico, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway,
Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland,
United Kingdom and USA). Over 6500 letters have arrived here at
Nitpicker Central. Thanks to everyone for your interest.
The Nitpicker Central Internet Extension Office (NCIEO) grows
every week. It contains brash reflections on the second season
of Voyager, humorous odds and ends and a weekly Q&A column
by yours truly. It is currently located at http://www.nitcentral.com
but these things can change fairly quickly in the wild west of
the Internet. So, if that address doesn't work you might want
to use a search engine and look for "nitpick" or "Phil
Farrand" or "Nitpicker Central." And yes, you can
submit nits electronically by sending them to: chief@nitcentral.com.
There are changes afoot on the merchandising side of Nitpicker
Central. Last year, we sold t-shirts and mugs. It turned out to
be too much for me to handle with writing books and keeping the
rest of my life in order so Zelbob Geeb is currently negotiating
with other outlets to sell the merchandise. He tells me that there
is interest from some of the dealers who attend conventions. We'll
see what he can come up with. I'll keep you informed.
And now a word from our sponsor. Okay, here's
the deal with the newsletters this year. There will be four (April,
July, October and December). They will be available in three ways:
1.) I will post them to NCIEO so you will be able to access
them on the Web.
2.) I will also send them free via email to anyone
with an email address. If you have an email account and you wish
to receive the newsletters free via email, send me an email note
with "Subscription Request" in the subject line. Make
sure you include your real name and address so I can find you
in the database.
3.) If you do not have access to the Internet and you wish
to receive newsletters via the post office, I will need some money
from you! There are hard cost involved with printing these newsletters
and I am only charging enough to cover those costs based on my
response rate for subscriptions in 1994. If you live in the US,
the cost to receive all of the 1996 newsletters is $10.00. In
Canada, the cost is US$12.50. All other countries - US$15.00.
If you decide to cancel your subscription, I will refund your
money for any newsletters that have not been mailed. (By the way,
I will be using this newsletter all year as an introduction to
the Guild so if you receive it in November of 1996 and you send
in your money, I will immediately send you the July and October
newsletters and then mail you the December newsletter when it
becomes available. That way, all subscriptions expire at the same
time!)
A final funny. Alfredo Ruanova--our first nitpicker from Mexico--tells
me that the NextGen episode "Arsenal of Freedom" contains
an interesting translation. When Riker is talking to the duplicate
of Paul Rice and claims that his ship is the "USS Lollipop"
(You remember. "It's a good ship."), the Spanish translators
gave it the name "El Crucero del Amor," which literally
means "The Love Cruise." This is the same name given
to the Love Boat! One wonders if Gopher served as Riker's first
officer! Happy Nitpicking, Phil Farrand
THE EDITORIALLY LIBERATED
As I explained in the newsletters last year, I generated
entirely too much information while writing The Nitpicker's
Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II. The first time
I ran a page count estimate, it laid out to 675 pages! (Too long.)
I took the first crack at cutting it down and dropped it to about
530 pages. Eric Wybenga did the rest. (Paper costs have really
gone up in the last few years and Dell didn't want the book to
be over 400 pages.) Last year, I printed my cuts from the seventh
season of NextGen. This year I'll try to get through the first
and second season cuts in the Guild Submissions section of the
NextGen II Guide. As I said last year, I didn't
cut these nits because they were bad nits. We just needed the
space.
As I did last year, I've stripped out all the normal subsection
headings to save space and I've include a single line plot description
in case you can't identify the episode by it's title.
Encounter At Farpoint Star Date: 41153.7-41174.2
Q appears, putting Picard and all of humanity on trial.
On page 4 of the NextGen Guide, I made light of the fact that
the Enterprise picked up several of its crew members at Farpoint.
Dialogue indicates that Farpoint is in "the boonies."
I felt it more likely that Starfleet would find some mid-point
for a rendezvous. I also mentioned that the USS Hood brought Admiral
McCoy all the way to Farpoint just to do a medical inspection.
Gill Bickley of Liverpool, England correctly noted that the Hood
not only ferried McCoy, it transported at least one other person
as well, namely Riker who served as its executive officer. Of
course, that still doesn't explain why everyone has to travel
to the edge of "the great unexplored mass of the galaxy"
just to board the Enterprise.
On the matter of Troi's lack of telepathic communication with
Riker after this episode (also noted on page 4 of the NextGen
Guide), Kevin Shride of Burlington, IA submitted that Riker never
responds to Troi and suggests that Troi's line, "Can you
still read my thoughts?" may simply refer to Riker back when
he always seemed to know what to do and say in their relationship.
Kevin believes that the creators simply allowed us to hear these
thoughts to inform us of the prior relationship between Troi and
Riker.
Data's whistling on the holodeck bears further scrutiny. He
struggles with "Pop Goes the Weasel" until Riker wanders
up and finishes the song with ease. Yet earlier in the episode,
Data produces an exact impersonation of Q and Picard. Doesn't
it seem likely that an android capable of such a perfect duplication
of a human voice would have the ability to imitate other human
sounds like whistling?
After beaming back down to the surface of Deneb IV, Riker
orders Troi, Yar and La Forge to investigate the lower level of
Farpoint Station while he and Data look around above. In a subsequent
conversation between Riker and Yar, Troi and La Forge join by
tapping their communicators. Later, however, on the alien vessel,
Troi joins a conversation between Picard and Riker without tapping
her communicator.
Shortly after Picard and company appear in Q's courtroom,
a soldier is shot at point-blank range multiple times with some
type of machine pistol. Interestingly enough, as the other soldiers
drag the man from the room, there are no holes in his clothing
and no crushed bullets to suggest a protective vest-nothing to
indicate any type of damage.
Thanks to: Will Hooper of Tuscaloosa, AL; Randy Peveto
of Hemphill, TX and R. Clayton Strang of Lynnwood, WA
The Naked Now Star Date: 41209.2-41209.3
The Enterprise's crew battle to overcome alcoholic water.
On the matter of Riker's seeming resistance to the alcoholic
water, Jeri Flick of International Falls, MN wrote that Kirk was
able to overcome its intoxication as well and suggested that their
metabolism might be the same.
Yar makes an interesting statement just before leaving Troi's
quarters. She says that she will get what she needs from ship's
stores. Don't they replicate clothing on the Enterprise-D?
Data's programming in "multiple techniques" and
"a broad variety of pleasuring" deserves some scrutiny.
Just what did Dr. Soong have in mind when he wrote these programs?
Data can't procreate sexually and cannot feel pleasure. Therefore,
Data would derive no benefit from the activity. (Aside from the
satisfaction that he might feel from making his partner happy.
That is, if he could feel satisfaction in the first place which,
of course, he can't.) Did Soong think that Data could find employment
as a male escort if all else failed?
Several have written to comment on the fact that Troi calls
Riker, "Bill" in this episode while she and everyone
else use "Will" almost exclusively for the rest of the
series. My dad is named William and I've heard these and other
variations several times during my life. I suppose it just depends
on the situation and who's talking.
Thanks to: Allie Brightwell of Hampshire, England and Mike
Milligan of Langley, British Columbia
Code of Honor Star Date: 41235.25-41235.32
Lutan-an inhabitant of Ligon II-kidnaps Yar.
David K. Smith of West Trenton found my nitpicking of La Forge's
constantly jumping razor on page 11 of the NextGen Guide a bit
much. He maintained that it would be impossible for an actor to
remember the exact position of the razor for every moment of dialogue
and reproduce it flawlessly over the multiple takes that are spliced
together to create the scene. I happen to agree that that would
be too much to ask of the actor. The simple solution, however,
is to shoot the scene so that the razor only shows from one angle.
With that approach, the problem disappears.
Presumably, Crusher can't just replicate more of the sample
vaccine that Lutan brings to the Enterprise and use it to stay
the plague of Styris IV?
At one point, Troi tells Picard and she believes Yar should
participate in the challenge offered by Yareena. As this scene
unfolds, Troi's hands jump around. Seen from the front, her hand
rest at her sides, from the back, they are folded behind her.
During the actual fight between Yar and Yareena, Yareena's
weapon flies off her hand and strikes a spectator. It leaves a
wound, as evidenced by the blood showing in the close-up. The
wound apparently heals instantly since it disappears in the wide
shot. Unfortunately, it still kills the man.
Thanks to: Patricia J. Douglas of San Antonio, TX; David
K. Smith of West Trenton, NJ and Brian Watson of Belle Glade,
FL
The Last Outpost Star Date: 41368.4-41368.5
The crew of the Enterprise get their first look at the
Ferengi.
After failing to break free of the energy draining field with
a jump to warp nine, Picard mutters the French equivalent of the
English swear word for excrement. Such language from a starship
captain!
At one point, Data finds a Chinese finger puzzle left behind
when some boys use the Observation Lounge for a play room. In
short order, Data has both index fingers inserted into the puzzle
and cannot remove them. The scene produces several cute moments
but is it really believable that Data with his superior strength
could not break free of the Chinese finger puzzle?
Boarding the turbolift, La Forge spins and lifts his right
hand-looking for all the world like he is punching in a destination
on a key pad mounted just beside the turbolift doors on the inside
of the car about waist high. Interestingly enough, this is precisely
the location of the control panel that makes a twice-in-the-series
appearance in "Brothers" and "Genesis." The
only explanation is that the Enterprise has just one turbolift
that contains this panel and only in these three episodes does
it happen to show up in the rotation for the bridge!
Thanks to: Sue Lajeunesse of Ottawa, Ontario; Ann McNeil
of Owen Sound, Ontario and Douglas Scott of Arlington, TX
Where No One Has Gone Before Star Date: 41263.1-41263.4
An accident sends the Enterprise far from home.
After reaching the land where thought and reality intersect,
Picard makes a log entry stating that they are a "billion"
light years from home. In the NextGen Guide, I pointed out that
in the next log entry he finally just admits that they are lost
and doesn't know where they are. (Is that typical for a man, or
what?) Lee Zion of the USS Kitty Hawk believes that Picard was
using the term "billion" generically, that he really
meant to say a "zillion" light years from home.
On the other hand, Gill Bickley of Liverpool, England submits
that Picard might be using the fact that he cannot see any of
the oldest known stars to roughly calculate the distance the Enterprise
would need to travel to place itself beyond the light generated
by those stars in their lifetimes.
After the second test, the crew discover that they are in
a place where thought can become reality . . . sort of. In the
first instance, a Klingon targ appears on the bridge. Worf sees
it, as does Yar but the two guys standing beside Worf completely
ignore the vicious looking animal. Then, Yar zones out in her
own private nightmare, running from rape gangs. No one else participates
in her vision. A man plays in a string quartet oblivious to his
surroundings after which two crew members run from some monster
that they can see but Picard cannot. Then, a woman dances as a
ballerina but only she sees her costume. This is followed by Picard
talking with his mother, a person whom Riker cannot see. But then,
Picard experiences a fire with a crewmember. Is there pattern
here I'm missing? Sometimes people see other people's illusions
and sometimes they don't. Why?
One final, small continuity error. When the Traveler has difficulty
completing his task in the last test, Wesley extends his hand.
After shaking it, the Traveler places his own right hand on the
controls mounted on the display screen in front of him. He presses
a few buttons and then moves his hand so that both hand are on
the flat part of the table. The shot switches to Wesley and the
Traveler's right hand jumps instantly back to the display screen.
Thanks to: Cyril M. Coupal of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan;
I. Dixon of Co. Durham, England and Brian Lombard of Gaithersburg,
MD
Lonely Among Us Star Date: 41249.3-41249.4
A homesick energy being uses Picard to return to his friends.
As the show begins, the Enterprise beams aboard several Selay-reptilian
humanoids that will represent their race in a meeting at Parliament
with their arch enemies, the Antican. Shortly after arriving,
they request that their quarters be "upwind" from the
Antican. Riker reacts diplomatically and takes the request in
stride. What exactly is "upwind" on a starship? Would
that be inside the ventilation shafts?
Near the end of the episode, Picard makes a little speech
detailing the events of the episode from the energy being's viewpoint
and hints about what he intends to do. During this time, Data
lists the advantages of exploring the universe as an energy-based
entity but tells Picard that he sees no way that the captain could
journey with the energy cloud. Moments later, Troi yells that
Picard intends to beam himself and the energy being into the cloud.
At first, I thought Troi came to this conclusion by simply following
the conversation. Then, I remembered that Troi knows virtually
nothing about technology at this juncture. (Remember, "What's
a containment breach?" from "Disaster"?) In addition,
Data couldn't even figure out how Picard had determined to accomplish
his goal. So, how does Troi know what Picard is going to do? Did
she read his mind? I thought she only sensed strong emotions,
that she couldn't read specific thoughts.
Shortly after Picard beams out into the cloud, Yar returns
to the bridge to inform Riker that the transport chief has no
idea what the transport coordinates were. Evidently, the transporter
logs weren't recording?
As the Enterprise makes its close sensor pass on the energy
cloud, Worf-in sensor control-notices a strange readout. He walks
over to the panel and places an instrument on a button that is
in the third row and second column of a large block of buttons.
The scene changes to a close-up and now the instrument rests on
the button in the second row and first column. (At this point,
some very lovely graphics depict an energy discharge wrapping
around the Klingon's arm.)
Thanks to: Mark Belanger of Butte, MT; Marjorie Nacchia
of Wilmington, DE and L. Scott Grant of Pembroke Lakes, FL
Justice Star Date: 41255.6-41255.9
Wesley stomps a plant and is sentenced to death.
Richard Smith of Surrey, England corresponded to say that
he agreed with the point I raised concerning Yar and her review
of the Edo's laws. As stated on page 22 of the NextGen Guide,
I find it incredible that she would not know that their only penalty
was death. Richard felt that I had failed to consider the probable
alternative-that Tasha Yar is not very bright! Richard offered
the following arguments to support his claim. She seduces an android
in "The Naked Now." (This from a person who spent her
childhood evading rape gangs.) She gets kidnapped by Lutan in
"Code of Honor." (She, the chief of security, no less.)
She fails to stop a pair of Klingons from being placed in the
brig with a disassembled weapon in "Heart of Glory."
And finally, she blasts away at an unknown alien without making
any attempt to seek cover in "Skin of Evil."
After apprehension, Wesley says, "I'm with Starfleet.
We don't lie." That's a bit idealistic isn't it? How about
Kirk's admission, in Star Trek III: The Wrath of Khan, to the
Klingon he promised to kill? Kirk says, "I lied."
On pages 127 and 128 of the NextGen Guide, I discussed the
fact that the transporter takes an individual apart particle by
particle and that's why the person becomes transparent. Both "Manhunt"
and "Contagion" have people talking during this process-even
though their lungs and vocal cords would be almost completely
disintegrated. The end of "Justice" features this equipment
oddity as well. During the final beam out, Picard comments that
the Edo god must have agreed with Riker's statement asserting
that justice never comes from a rule book.
Thanks to: Autumn Grady of Rio Linda, CA
The Battle Star Date: 41723.9
DaiMon Bok tries to kill Picard to avenge his son's death.
This is not a nit, just an observation. Given Wesley's location
on the bridge during the meeting with the Ferengi, it would have
been a lovely touch to slip in a reaction shot from the young
man as Picard identified the approaching ship as the Stargazer.
After all, Wesley's father died while serving on that ship. Of
course, maybe the creators didn't know that at this point in the
development of the series.
During the first away mission to the Stargazer, Data finds
a final log entry from the ship's captain, Jean-Luc Picard. In
it, Picard says that they were forced to abandon their starship
and adds, "May she find her way without us." This seems
a very calm thing to say when your ship is burning and you are
trying to save as many lives as possible. It's also quite different
from Picard's last words before the Enterprise explodes in "Cause
and Effect," "Abandon ship! All hands, abandon ship!"
In short order after visiting Sickbay, Picard experiences
another headache. Riker calls for Sickbay but Picard responds
weakly with a "no" and a wave. Surprisingly enough,
Sickbay never responds. No "Sickbay . . . Crusher, here."
Nothing. What happened to Riker's hail. Did the computer delete
it?
Thanks to: Jaycee Carey of Roby, TX; David J. Ferrier of
Washington, DC and John Potts of London, England
Hide And Q Star Date: 41590.5-41591.4
Q returns to the Enterprise to entice Riker to join the
Continuum.
Something is wrong with Data's pips in the scene around Q's
field marshal tent. At times, it looks like he's only wearing
one solid pip but it may be that he's wearing two hollow ones
on either side of the solid pip. In any case, Data's rank is lieutenant
commander and his pips-staring near his throat and working outward-should
be solid, solid, hollow.
At the beginning of the episode, Picard pages Crusher to update
her on the details of a pending rescue mission. The doctor responds
to the hail by stopping her progress through one of the corridors
of the Enterprise, backing up and touching a wall panel. Did she
forget to put on her communicator that morning?
The scenes of the Enterprise positioned in front of Q's forcefield
come from "Encounter At Farpoint."
Thanks to: David J. Ferrier of Washinton, DC; Detlef Johannis
of Munchen, Germany and Michael Warden of Pineville, LA
Haven Star Date: 41294.5-41294.6
Plague-infested Tarellians come to Haven to find Wyatt
Miller.
At this point in the series, the creators evidently hadn't
settled on protocols for communications. For instance, when Yar
pages Riker and requests his presence in the transporter room,
he gets up and walks out of his quarters without acknowledging
the hail.
I'm not sure that this next one is really a nit. I prefer
to think that the writer of this episode wrote the dialogue this
way and the actor who played Mr. Miller pulled it off flawlessly.
But, just in case it really is a mistake, I decided to note it.
When Lwaxana suggests that Mr. Homm can officiate the wedding,
Mr. Miller explodes and attempts to say, "Mr. Homm can't
even talk!" What he really says is "Mr. Komm . . . Mr.
Homm can't even talk!" During the little pause, the actor
gives a little snort and shakes his head very convincingly. (As
side to this exchange, Lwaxana responds to Mr. Miller's objection
by noting that Homm is very skilled at sign languages, leaving
the impression that Homm really can't talk. However, the end of
the episode proves that he can when he thanks Picard for "the
drinks." Personally, I think the writers wrote the exchange
that way on purpose to build up the surprise value when Homm talks.)
It's interesting to note how the valuation of certain items
falls in and out of fashion in the future. Near the beginning
of the episode, a box filled with "bonding gifts" appears
on the transporter pad. It announces that the joyous day of Deanna
Troi's marriage has come. Many years ago, the Troi family arranged
a genetic bonding between her and a young boy named Wyatt Miller.
The Millers have come to fulfill their responsibilities and see
their son wed the counsellor. When the box spills its contents
onto the transporter platform, Yar expresses amazement at the
jewels it contains. Yet, in the Classic Trek episode "Catspaw,"
an alien in the form of a wizard attempts to bribe Kirk with a
plateful of gems and the captain merely scoffs. (Or was Kirk just
feigning boredom.)
Following her transport, Lwaxana Troi offers Picard the "privilege"
of carrying her suitcase. As graciously as possible, the captain
hefts the heavy load and lumbers into the hallway. (It is a very
cute moment.) Counsellor Troi becomes increasingly embarrassed
at this turn of events and finally shouts at Mr. Homm, Lwaxana'a
valet, to perform his duty. During the close-up, she holds a rose
upright in the center of his chest. In the following wide shot,
the rose suddenly hangs downward at the counsellor's side.
Thanks to: Brad W. Higgins of Pheonix, AZ and David K.
Smith of West Trenton, NJ
The Big Goodbye Star Date: 41997.7
Picard relaxes on the holodeck as Dixon Hill.
Adding another possibility to why the gangsters vanished when
leaving the holodeck at the end of this episode instead of collapsing
like de-strung marionette (as the Technical Manual seems to assert
that they should), Jeff Harris of Atchinson, KS suggested that
they didn't fall to the floor because the computer is programmed
not to leave bodies laying around and so disposed of them!
Speaking of fiction expert Walen, is this an official ship's
position? (I thought I had it good. This guy gets to sit around
and read books all day.) Or, is Walen just the high school level
American literature tutor?
The episode ends with Picard greeting the Jarada in their
own language. The Jarada consider this essential to open contact
with the Federation even though their language is extremely difficult
to pronounce for humanoids. Please forgive the shocking suggestion
but Data could probably flawlessly reproduce the Jaradan greeting
and even do it in Picard voice. True, it would be deceptive and
probably beneath Starfleet's high standards of ethical behavior.
On second thought, forget I mentioned it. (Of course, the Enterprise
may have transmitted visually even though the Jarada did not.)
By the way, it is difficult to see but if you look carefully
at the screen when Data reads all the fiction works of Dixon Hill
you will see that "The Big Goodbye" is listed and Tracy
Torme-this episode's writer-is credited as the author. (Not really
a nit, just an observation.)
Crusher causes a small continuity error. Just after Felix
Leech pulls a gun on Picard and company, the three men raise their
hands. The shot changes and Crusher suddenly has her hands raised.
Contributors: Robert Boone of Starke, FL and Tina Kirby
of Bellevue, NE; Angela G. Jones of Pineville, LA and Johnson
Lai of Ajax, Ontario
Datalore Star Date: 41242.4-41242.5
On Omicron Theta, an away team finds Lore, Data's brother.
Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA wrote to advise me that she
believed Data's line at the end of the show ("I'm fine")
was meant as a joke. Sara said she laughed although no one on
the show seemed to get it.
David Shelton of Birmingham, AL pointed out that the trivia
question on page 35 in which I asked for the first name of a child
from the Omicron Theta colony could also be answered with information
from "Silicon Avatar"-namely "Raymond" or
"Renny."
Picard's probably felt bad after yelling at poor old Wesley.
He makes a real effort to be courteous several moments later.
When the crystal entity begins attacking the Enterprise he orders
the photon torpedoes to the ready, main phasers on line and the
ship to red alert. Then for good measure, Picard adds, "please."
These early shows had a definite lack of security officers.
Just after the climactic scene where Wesley beams Lore into space.
Picard, Riker, Crusher and Yar rush into the cargo bay armed and
ready to subdue the threat to the ship.
Returning to the bridge after fetching Data, Wesley takes
the Ops position. The woman previously seated in the chair vacates
it and appears to start up the ramp towards the back of the bridge.
The next shot cuts to Picard and Riker with a clear view of the
ramp but the woman never walks by in the background. There are
several possibilities. She could have ducked into Picard's ready
room or the nearby turbolift (although there is no door opening
sound to indicate an exit of the bridge). Or, perhaps she just
decided to go stand in the corner between the ready room and the
lower turbolift.
Contributors: Joshua Ethridge of Fayetteville, AR; Lee
Havenarr of Burlington, Ontario and Greg Reid of Toronto, Ontario
REFLECTIONS ON NEXTGEN II
Ah, the joys of writing a book! As I've said before on
numerous occasions, the approach of a release date on a book always
fills me with a minor trepidation. I wonder how many unintentional
errors I've made because of brain cramps, dead neurons and the
like. The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume
II has proven to be no exception to the truism that "to err
is human"! Here are a few of the comments sent my way by
members of the Nitpicker's Guild concerning NextGen II. (I do
thank you all for your compliments on the book as well. You've
been most kind and I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying it.)
The Cover
Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "I hate bringing down
the wonderful cover art, but I noticed that the TVs depicted don't
extend very far back (to accommodate the cathode tube, or whatever
the projection in the back is used for). The simple answer is:
They're projection TVs. So then why do the screens curve in slightly
at the top? (Grin.) They use a display technology that contains
a spatial isomiatic plasma discriminator to flood the front of
the tube selectively without the need of a cathode ray. That's
why they don't bulge in back! (Boy, that technobabble generator
really comes in handy doesn't it! Wink, wink.)
Season Seven
9-10, Johnson Lai of Ajax, Ontario: "In 'Interface,'
the second trivia question asks the reader to name the other three
TNG episodes where Geordi had his eyes made normal (or something
to that effect). The answer section only gave two answers."
Just playing with your minds! (I'm joking . . . I goofed!)
David L. Tayman of Toms River, NJ advised that the third episode
would be 'All Good Things.'"
20, Laura Dachenbach of Gahanna, OH: "I believe that
I can make a pretty good case for Deanna's accent and in fact,
I think it is the only reasonable explanation. Lwaxana and Ian
Troi get married and enjoy the services of Mr. Homn. They have
Kestra who grows up to speak an American English accent exactly
like her father. (Just listen to her in "Dark Page,"
her vowels and lack of nasality is like her father, not Lwaxana.)
Kestra dies but Deanna follows in her footsteps and also speaks
an American English accent. Mr. Homn goes on sabbatical and a
new servant ala Professor Higgins steps in to teach Deanna some
rare Betazoid languages in which he is fluent. How do I know this?
Because Lwaxana says in "Dark Page" that Deanna was
very good with languages. Where did she learn them? From her mother
who can read people's thoughts? From her father who was sent from
mission to mission? From Starfleet who relies on the Universal
Translator as an interpreter? Certainly not from Mr. Homn. No.
This new servant (who probably appeared on the scene when Deanna
was about three or four years old and in prime condition to acquire
new languages) tutored Deanna for a year or two and either deliberately
taught her quasi-British/Russian accent she now speaks or caused
her to accquire it from tutoring her in different languages. Mr.
Homn returned from sabbatical and Deanna never got a chance to
practice her language lessons anymore and may feel that she never
fully mastered the accent. Hence Deanna speaks with an accent
that none of her immediate family members speak. Perhaps this
would also explain why Deanna's accent is unstable and 'shifts'
throughout the series." Well . . . there ya go!
39, Brian Lombard of Gaithersburg, MD: "In 'Homeward,'
the second note under Equipment Oddities says, 'Not only does
the holodeck go down. . . '. This sentence occurs during
your discussion of the turbolift journey of 44 decks when it was
going to the bridge. I think you meant 'Not only does the turbolift
go down . . . '"
44, Mickie Robarge of Norwalk, CA: "In 'Lower Decks,'
your second trivia question asks, 'What is Ensign Sito's first
name?' (Are you kicking yourself yet?) Well, I thought it was
a trick question and answered, 'Sito.' But no, your answer is
Jaxa! Since Sito is Bajoran and her full name is Sito Jaxa...
but I guess you've figured it out by now." Yup, yup, yup,
yup. I should have asked for Sito's given name. (Although, it
would have been a great trick question!)
53, Brian Lombard of Gaithersburg, MD: "In 'Eye of the
Beholder,' you ask why Riker didn't have O'Brien beam Kwan
out of the tube. As I read it, I thought, 'Okay, Phil's setting
us up for more of his twisted humor. Phil knows that O'Brien had
moved to DS9 a full season before this episode was made.' But
the punch line was apparently edited out!" I am sorry
to report that the punch line wasn't edited out. This was just
a brain cramp. I had been wrapped up in NextGen for months and
forgot that O'Brien had left. Come to think of it . . . it would
have made a cute joke. Maybe the nit should have read, "And
speaking of Kwan jumping to his death, why didn't Riker tell O'Brien
to beam him out of the nacelle tube? Too much interference from
the plasma stream? (Oh wait: O'Brien's on DS9. Well, there you
go! That's the problem!)"
57, James Clink of Glendora, CA: "You err in stating
that lemurs aren't in the human ancestry. [According to the theory
of evolution,] the amphipithecines are ancestral to mankind and
they are lemurs and just barely miss being monkeys. (There are
times when a Ph.D. in biology does come in handy.)"
62, Andres Rosales of Oxnard, CA: "Is the Continuity
and Production Problem from 'Firstborn' or is it from 'Dark Page'?
(page 21). It says the same on both pages." I have no
idea what happened here! The last nit on page 62 should have been,
"Is Alexander really Worf's son? Or, did K'Ehleyr actually
have an illicit relationship with (gasp!) a Romulan! As an adult
Alexander bears a striking resemblance to none other than Admiral
Jarok from 'The Defector.'"
76, Matt Cotnoir of Coventry, RI: "Under the episode
'All Good Things . . .', one of your sentences reads 'Of course,
us nitpickers . . . '. This is incorrect grammar. If you take
out the word nitpickers, which is an appositive describing the
pronoun us, It reads, 'Of course, us wouldn't . . .'. The correct
way to write this would be, 'Of course, we nitpickers wouldn't
. . .', as we is the subject of the verb 'wouldn't.'" Actually,
there are many grammatical errors in the book. This is intentional.
It gives the writing a woodsy, hometown, kind-o-feel. And, since
I ain't Data, I can get away with it! (And by the way, some grammarians
will tell you that 'ain't' in this context is actually correct
since it is really a contraction for 'am not'!)
77, Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA: "I have a few things
to say about the Skin Flick Tote Board. First off, I think number
three way a good way to point up Data's really pathetic modesty,
but did you need to use such a . . . picturesque . . . example?
How can you come up with something like that if the simple words
'Worf in a tutu' gives you the creeps? Yikes! Ya coulda just asked
how many times Data appeared dressed in anything more revealing
than a Victorian suit. The second thing is that maybe you should
have allowed Lore, Q, and Lwaxana into the contention for 'buck
nakedness.' They all showed off considerable skin and, interestingly
enough, all 'actors' involved were au naturale in 'Datalore',
'Deja Q', 'Menage a Troi', and 'Cost of Living' (I know, I know,
Lore was played by plastic pieces-parts at the time, but we did
get a good view of his bare behind, and I think that counts!)"
Snicker, snicker, snicker. Ya know, every once in a while I
get a hyperbole attack and like to push things to the absurd!
Data's striptease seemed funny to me at the time. (Actually, it
still does!) And, I admit it, I missed an opportunity with the
contention for "buck nakedness." Of course, we'd have
to add Picard to the list for his revealing performance in "Chain
of Command, Part 2."
Star Trek Generations
89, Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "Starfleet might
not have abandoned the Enterprise-B modification for Excelsior-Class.
It could be that (Ahhhhh!) the ships shown in TNG are more than
80 years old. (After all, according to the Tech Man., the -D was
made to last 100!) Well . . . there ya go! See, I knew there
was a reason Starfleet had drafted that dweeb Harriman to captain
the Enterprise-B. Obviously, they adopted a policy of employing
a bit less adventurous captains so their ships would last longer.
If Kirk hadn't been onboard, the Enterprise-B would have sustained
a lot less damage!
90, Mike Leinoff of Glens Falls, NY: "You referred to
an episode called 'Brother.' That wouldn't be anything like the
episode 'Brothers,' would it? Well . . . since Lore's dead
now . . . (Wink, wink.)
91, Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "About surprise
due to the Bozeman's operation - could this be the Bozeman-C?
It's not necessarily the same ship. Just the same name (Witness
Enterprise A through D)"
92, Margie Kirschstein of Glendale, NY: "You mention
that Kirk's clock should have chimed 11 times after the tune.
Well apparently Kirk has a clock just like the one on my living
room wall. At the top of each hour, it rings out the normal tune
then stops." You didn't happened to buy that clock out
of the back of a guy's truck did you? (I'm just joking!)
93, Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "Why is Russ's appearance
a nit? Certainly you're allowed to LOOK like someone, right? I've
been asked about my "doppleganger" tracking before.
In my life, I have yet to stroll into a room and meet someone
who looks exactly like someone else I know; who talks the same,
who uses the same mannerism, etc. etc. There are times when the
only way you can tell an actor is playing another part is by the
credits. For instance, Tim Russ also plays a Klingon in the DS9
episode "Invasive Procedures." Personally, I had to
look really close to tell that it was him. But, in the case of
the guy on the Enterprise-B and Tuvok, it's obviously the
same guy. And, until this happens to me in real life, I consider
it a nit!
93, James L Morrow of Merced, CA: "One of the nicer things
about laser discs is that the picture quality far exceeds VHS.
That level of detail makes it easier to track down nits. When
Riker pauses in the doorway of the ready room, just for a moment
you can catch a glimpse of the upper right corner of the main
viewscreen if you look carefully. Likewise, you can see the corridor
wall detail over the top of Picard's chair for a second or two
when Troi enters his quarters. I disagree about the sets being
disconnected, since they started shooting the movie as soon as
they finished 'All Good Things.'"
93, Johnson Lai of Ajax, Ontario: "You noted that the
transporter officer of the Enterprise-B was Tim Russ, who also
plays Tuvok on Voyager. But you also said that he played a terrorist
in 'Captain's Holiday'. I believe you meant 'Starship Mine'. Also,
I'm not sure but I think Tim Russ also played one of the Klingon
mercenaries in the DS9 episode "Invasive Procedures".
93, Jackie Roswell: "Generations was released for purchase
on Video today and I have already watched my copy. In your book
you mention that as the film progresses more characters start
wearing DS9 uniforms. You also mention that females still wear
the normal STTNG uniforms. In the scene where Data is scanning
for lifeforms whilst singing there is a female crew member at
the back of the scene wearing a DS9 uniform." I should
have said the main female characters (Crusher and Troi) were still
in their regular uniforms.
93, Jackie Roswell: "My boyfriend, Julian Barker, pointed
out that when the two refugee ships are destroyed by the thread
a crew member announces that the starboard ship is going to blow
but it is the left hand one that explodes. I know that it is the
right hand ship from the other refugee ship's point of view but
it makes no sense for bearings to be given that are not in relation
to the captain's present location. Julian tells me that this is
what would happen on a modern day warship where all bearings are
given relative to the ship except courses which are given relative
to the compass. Tactically it would be logical for a starship
to follow the same principle." I actually had this down
in my list of nits but I didn't include it because I wasn't sure
of the exact protocol and I didn't have time to contact someone
about it!
Season One
103, Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "Ah-ha! That was
the Eugenics War, not WWIII. For example - did we call the Gulf
War WWIII? Just because it's after WWII doesn't mean it's WWIII."
For me, the key distinguishing point here is Classic Trek identified
the Eugenics War as "worldwide." The Gulf War was several
nations against Iraq.
128-129, Matt Cotnoir of Coventry, RI: "In the updated
damage tote board, you goofed in the listing of the episodes where
the ship blows up. The first one you list is, 'The senior staff
watches a replay of the shuttles log in "Cause and Effect"'.
The episode you are referring to should be 'Time Squared'."
Sorry, neurons took a vacation!
137, Evan Kirby of Kenner, LA: "I think you were up just
a little bit late with the nits for this episode. The last nit
refers to a Companion as their central computer on Aldea. It's
'Custodian!' (Well, they both start with "c" and end
with an "n" so I gotta give you credit for that.)
Season Two
172, Brian Lombard of Gaithersburg, MD: "You state amazement
that Commander Maddox looks so young for a guy who supposedly
admitted Data to the academy, as Data has 26 years of service.
You missed the obvious answer! Maddox used the now famous 'Pulaski
Method' to rejuvenate himself. I suspect that he's really about
60 years old. He must have found a sample of his 'young DNA,'
entered it into the transporter, and grown young again. There's
certainly enough time between 'Unnatural Selection' and 'Measure
Of A Man' for him to do this. Wink, wink."
172, Heather Kent of Traverse City, MI: "You say that
Starbase 173 is in the 21st sector, but actually, according to
Captain Louvois in her conversation with Picard, she is 'in charge
of the 23rd sector JAG office.'"
176, Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA: "The number of
times Picard reads a book should include the time he read out
of Data's very nice copy of Shakespeare in 'The Most Toys'.
(I am convinced, however, that the book they used as a prop was
a Bible, mostly because I have never seen a copy of Shakespeare
bound in a soft leather cover and thin pages, whereas I have seen
innumerable Bibles published that way. I couldn't read the printing
on the page because of my less-than-spectacular copy, so I can't
confirm the books real identity.)"
176, Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL: "An addition to
the Picard Toteboard: The actor who plays Picard-B on Time Squared
(which, incidentally, is the very next episode in your book. Grin.)
186, Jackie Joe of Greenville, TX: "You asked about Wesley
receiving credit for classes when he had not been accepted to
Star Fleet yet. Phil, where have you been? When I was in high
school, quite a few of classmates (the gifted ones) did several
college freshmen courses while still seniors. When I started working
on my masters, I was allowed to take 12 hours of class before
taking the GED and before being accepted into the graduate school.
It's a fairly common practice." How true, how true.
Season Three
208, Laura Dachenbach of Gahanna OH: "I like your point
about Patches, Jeremy Aster's male calico cat. However, my college
roommate actually did own a male calico cat named Chester. I was
fortunate enough to meet Chester before he died and can confirm
that he definitely was male and calico. (You probably know this,
but in case you don't, the term calico is not a breed of cat.
It simply refers to any cat with at least three colors in its
coat.) So male calico cats are not so exceedingly rare that they
appear once every hundred years or something. Anyway, the one
big problem hindering the rise of male calico cats is that they
are almost always sterile and therefore have few chances to pass
this trait on to their offspring. But Starfleet, whose scientists
have probably been messing around with animal DNA for quite some
time, has probably altered the breeding conditions of cats and
caused male calico cats to become much more prevalent in the 24th
century.
223, Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA: "On your revised
Romance Tote Board, you said that the consumable Troi was a 'fantasy
woman.' Troi cake has a romantic component?! To whom? Well, yeah,
to Freud, but Freud thinks everything has a 'romantic component'
and it wasn't his nightmare anyway!" Ya know, anything
I say in defense of the inclusion of the Troi cake on the Romance
Tote Board would probably just get me in deeper trouble but I
remain convinced of it's validity. (Moving right along now...)
239, Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA: "In your review
of 'The Most Toys', you had a little parenthetical statement about
Data's statement that 'Perhaps something occurred during transport.'
You said he was probably lying here...well, technically speaking,
he isn't. What he said is literally true but also deceptive. Wanna
know what happened during transport? Data fired the disrupter,
that's what happened during transport! Data's got an interesting
way to play with the crew's minds; all he has to do is tell them
the truth in a way that will make them think he's saying something
else and they believe him because they think he's too naive to
be sneaky." Me thinks I hear the sound of splitting hairs!
In my mind, any person who consciously misrepresents themselves
with the intent to deceive is lying. (Or... if not "lying"
then performing some close derivative of lying.)
Season Four
274, Kevin Cassidy of West Carrollton, OH: "'Miscellaneous
Data Tote Board', in item # 3, you mention there were at least
eighteen times Data displayed a feat of strength. You mentioned
several of these times. Don't forget Data also lifted an anvil
in "Time's Arrow Part 2". He does this in his hotel
room, when Jack returned with the items Data had requested."
274, David S. Durall of Charleston, IL: "The fifth question
asks about Data mimicking another person's voice. You listed the
answer as four, but I believe the answer to be at least five.
In the episode 'Silicon Avatar,' Dr. Kila Marr asks Data to 'read'
something from her son's journal files and, in doing so, does
it in her son's voice."
295, Kent S. Siegel of Farmington Hills, MI: "'Feyhman'
should be 'Feynman.'" (See 364 below)
Season Five
310, May Chin of Silver Spring, MD: "You wonder why Sela
left Picard and crew alone and unguarded in her office. I say
again that arrogance as an Achilles heel is nothing new, and Sela
was certainly arrogant and overconfident as all get out."
319, Evan Kirby of Kenner, LA: "In 'The Big Goodbye,'
Data says 'He's on ice,' referring to Picard. That wasn't in the
reviews for the episode or in the Updated Conundrum Toteboard.
(i.e. Data used yet another contraction.)
Season Six
350-351, Brian Lombard of Gaithersburg, MD :"You spelled
People as 'Poeple' in the headers." Actually, the production
people did. (Wink, wink)
352, Kevin Cassidy of West Carrollton, OH: "Under the
synopsis of 'Relics', you state that Scotty was kept alive in
a modified 'tractor beam'. Actually, I believe it was a modified
'transporter beam'. Scotty rigged the transporter to remain in
a diagnostic mode."
364, Kent S. Siegel of Farmington Hills, MI: "You refer
to a certain shuttle as 'Feyhman.' I believe the correct name
is 'Feynman.' This would be a reference to the famous physicist
and Nobel Laureate, Richard Feynman."
367, Mike Ballway of Evanston, IL: "You bring up the
idea that something's wrong when the Computer doesn't respond
to Barclay's 'end program.' No, it's much MORE eerie than that!
Think: Barclay is a program! Aside from Moriarty, the Computer
supposedly doesn't respond to any other characters. So, not only
is Barclay still on the Holodeck, but he's a character as well!"
Insert Twilight Zone Theme here.
On this same topic Kevin Loughlin of Kitchener, Ontario went
on to say, "This is confirmed. He was apparently transferred
to the USS Voyager's memory shortly after it was commissioned,
but when the Emergency Medical Hologram program was also installed,
the Barclay program was forgotten about, until he was resurrected
in the Doc's malfunctions during the Voyager episode 'Projections'.
I rest my case."
370, Mike Ballway of Evanston, IL: "In your Technobabble
Generator sidebar, you give pattern 3123 as 'Annular Confinement
Beam.' To get that Tech term, you'd need 3122, not '23."
375, Sara Green of Lake Elsinore, CA: "In 'Birthright,
Part 1,' you expressed some surprise that Data could handle his
paintings after they were so freshly painted. You talked about
advanced twenty-fourth century rapid drying acrylics. After getting
over my jealousy that Data could paint a figurative picture in
just under seventeen minutes, I thought to tell you that backwards
twentieth century acrylics can dry that fast. Acrylics take about
a day to really harden, but in the space of twenty minutes, a
coat of acrylic will have dried to the point that it won't mix
with more acrylic (trust me, I know . . . I've tried to get ten-minute-old
acrylic to blend! It just won't!) At this point, you could still
get color to come up on your fingers, but in an hour, a reasonable
layer of acrylic will just be tacky. (Now if you do impasto, which
is a very thick technique, it will obviously take longer to dry.
But at a convention, I saw the "paintings" up close,
and if they had been real paintings, they wouldn't have been done
in thick technique.) If the paintings Data picked up were some
of the older ones, (that is, they are at least an hour old) then
the paint wouldn't come up on his fingers, assuming, of course,
that he did use acrylics. (Probably he did; he is quick enough
that he could use the acrylics as if they were closer to oils
and he wouldn't need the slower drying time to make smooth blends
and all the other fun things you can do with oil paint.) I am
impressed that in the entire six and a half hours he managed not
to get a drop of paint on his hands, though. Whenever I paint
(or draw for that matter) I make a decent mess of my hands, and
it's a good day when I don't get paint on my face and arms."
387, Ken Murtha of Albuquerque, NM: "You state 'That
would be fifty hours-or four days-of normal time.' Of course,
fifty hours is just over two days." Brain cramp! Aaaaaaah!
Index
394, Mark Belanger of Butte, MT: "I came across an entry
for 'Aldebran, Scotty, 275.' I turned to page 275 to see who this
Scotty Aldebran was. On page 275, the following line appears:
'7. Makes Troi a Samarian Sunset in 'Conundrum' and offers Scotty
Aldebran whiskey in 'Relics.'" Ooops! Jane Farnol is a
great indexer (I believe she's related to Nana Visitor, by the
way). She just got a little too zealous with this one!
Back Cover
394, Murray J.D. Leeder of Calgary, Alberta: "On the
back of the book, it says that Spot was a he for six season. Was
it just me, or did Spot first appear in the fourth season's 'Data's
Day'?" As a matter of fact . . . yes!
CONTINUING COMMUNICATIONS
I always enjoy hearing from you. Here are some excerpts
from recent letters. First, though, we need to take care of some
business from the Fall-ish 1995 newsletter. (The Fall-ish 1995
newsletter is no longer available on paper but you can find it
on NCIEO--the Nitpicker Central website.)
Was Molly Born Out Of Wedlock, Part II
In the Fall-ish 1995 newsletter, John Burrows of Middlesex,
England reported that a program in Britain confirmed that ships'
captains cannot marry couples. John contacted the American embassy
and received the same report. This, of course, would mean that
Miles and Keiko weren't really married! Mark Luta of Eugene, OR
added more information to the mix, "As a former Naval officer,
I will attempt to explain the actual situation. John Burrows is
correct that merchant captains can never legally wed couples.
However, under certain conditions, tradition does allow captains
of warships (more fodder for "Is Starfleet Military?")
to perform marriages, as well as other legal functions such as
executing wills. The basic requirement is that the ship be deployed
to a remote area, such that the appropriate official is not available.
The reason for this is that since the days of sailing ships, warships
have made long deployments to remote areas, and it would be a
great inconvenience to the crew if they couldn't have an official
perform legal functions for them. On the other hand, most ships
don't have space to carry all sorts of legal officials so tradition
allows the captain of a warship to act as magistrate when required.
Also naval officers are governmental representatives with legal
standing while merchant captains are not. Similarly, army officers
cannot perform these functions as the nature of supplying an army
on land means that a soldier could normally get to a magistrate
while a sailor often could not. That said, if the Enterprise is
several months from a Federation outpost and two people want to
marry it seems reasonable for Picard to perform the ceremony."
Yes, Virginia, There Are Audio Tapes
Jonathan Bridge of Murray, UT wrote, "It just so happens
that I have discovered accidentally the Nitpicker's Guide on audiotape!
In buying Part I and II of the Classic Guide on tape, I discovered
to my horror that there are not just two parts to this but three!
Is there really a part three, or is this just a plot oversight
on the part of the marketers? Also, does the NextGen Guide on
tape contain Volumes I and II or just Volume I. And, what is available
in the way of Nitpicker's Guides on audiotape? Will they be made
available to order from Nitpicker Central, or do we have to make
our own trek to buy them?"
The Classic Guide on audiotape does contain three
parts. For those of you who haven't seen the tapes, the three
volume set has the complete text of the Classic Guide as read
by Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols and George Takei. (Yup, that
would be Chekov, Uhura and Sulu.) The NextGen Guide audiotapes
contain the complete text of the NextGen Guide, Volume I as read
by Denise Crosby, Dwight Schultz and Robert O'Reilly (Yar, Barclay
and Gowron). It is a three volume set as well. I understand that
AudioScope, the producer of the tapes, has purchased the rights
to the NextGen II Guide as well so the complete text of that book
will likely be out at some time in the future also. (Probably
as another three volume set!) Nitpicker Central does not
sell the tapes.
Yet Another Case Of Life After Death On Star Trek
Geoffrey L. Gould of Verona, NJ advised, "Eddie Paskey
was William Shatner's stand in for the Classic series. To fill
up the bridge he often sat at the engineering section and had
an occasional line. For instance, in 'The Paradise Syndrome,'
when Kirk confronted the long line of crewmembers in the hall
outside the transporter room, Paskey was the one who admitted
to Kirk that it was a mutiny. His character name was Mr. Leslie.
My former roommate and I jokingly formed the two man Unauthorized
and Very Unofficial Mr. Leslie Fan Club as the Classic series
video tapes became more available. We logged the episodes in which
he appeared and what lines he had and if it was obvious that he
was doing something 'important' in the background. At a con, we
found and each for the t-shirt stating, 'He Lived. He Died. He
Lived Again. Mr. Leslie: Man or God?' In the opening of the episodes
'Obsession, Mr. Leslie is on the surface, is called by name by
Kirk and is killed by the vampire cloud before the opening credits.
And yet a few weeks later there he is guarding the quadotriticale
in 'The Trouble with Tribbles'!"
Borg Soap Operas
John DiGianno of Hollywood, FL sent these along:
All My Children will be assimilated.
Another World will be assimilated. We will be your Guiding
Light as The Days of our Lives.
As the World Turns, it will be assimilated.
You have One Life To Live and it, as you know it, is over.
The Borg and the Beautiful.
The Young and the Irrelevant.
Top Ten Rejected Star Trek Episode and Movie Titles
Submitted by Joshua Truax of Fridley, MN
10. Star Trek: The Motion Picture - "Where Nomad
Has Gone Before" (Trek: The 25th Anniversary Celebration
author James van Hise suggested this title out of disappointment
that the film too closely resembled the Classic episode, "The
Changeling.")
9. DS9: "In the Hands of the Prophets" -
"Gone With the Winn" (A terrible pun, you say? Frankly,
my dear . . . oh never mind.)
8. TNG: "Rascals" - "Be Young, Have
Fun, Sink Ferengi"
7. DS9: "Rules of Acquisition" - "Ferentyl"
(That's short for "Ferengi Yentl," according to Cinefantastique
magazine.)
6. DS9: "The Collaborator" - "Sex, Lies
and Vedeks"
5. TOS: "Spock's Brain" - "The Creators'
Brains" (They seemed to be missing during this episode.)
4. TOS: "The Way to Eden" - "The Creators'
Brains On Drugs" (Any questions?)
3. DS9: "Past Tense" - "San Fran-Sisko"
(I know, too easy.)
2. TNG: "Sub Rosa" - "Sleeping With
the Entity."
1. TNG: "Up the Long Ladder" - "Send
in the Clones" (This was the actual title of Melissa Snodgrass's
story for this episode!)
Groaners (Run For You Lives Before It's Too Late!)
Where do Star Trek fans go to lift weights? The "He's
dead, Gym"!
How many ears does Picard have? Three. A right ear. A left
ear. And a final front ear.
What did Will Riker say when he discovered that he had a transporter
duplicate? "We're Number One! We're Number One!"
Why are Beverly Crusher, Worf, and Deanna Troi similar? Because
one's a Doc, one's a Worf, and one's a Marina.
Did you hear about the singing contest for young men at Starfleet
Academy? It's called the Kirk Tenor Prize.
Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?
They have engaged the Borg.
Submitted by Judy Cook, Geoff Hooker and Theodore J. Miller.