This newletter is published quarterly (April, July, October, December)
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This newletter is also available free of charge to Guild members via email
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COPYRIGHT 1997 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.
Books by Phil Farrand:
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume I
(ISBN 0-440-50571-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Classic Trekkers
(ISBN 0-440-50683-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II
(ISBN 0-440-50716-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Deep Space Trekkers
(ISBN 0-440-50762-6)
The Nitpicker's Guide for X-philes
(Release Date: December 1, 1997)
(Return to Table of Contents) September 24, 1997
Greetings Fellow Nitpickers and Proud Members of the Nitpickers Guild!
Just a few weeks now before The Nitpicker's Guide for X-philes (X-phile Guide) starts showing up on bookstore shelves! The book carries an official release date of December 1, 1997 but bookstores usually put out their products a few weeks earlier so you should be able to find it sometime around the second or third week of November. The advance sales are looking good and for that I do thank you! I've already posted a shameless plug for this Guide on the website but I reproduced it here for those of you who get the newsletter by mail or haven't stopped by the website in a while. (And, if you're not an X-phile but know someone who is . . . pass the word along! Thanks!)
As always, the Nitpickers Guild marches on. As of today, the Guild has 6386 members in 32 countries (Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Republic of China, Denmark, France, Germany, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Mexico, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Republic of the Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovenia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, the United Kingdom, USA and Venezuela). Over 8600 postal letters have arrived here at Nitpicker Central (not counting the thousands of email messages). Thanks again to everyone for your interest! I do, however, have an announcement and an apology. I've been remiss. In recent days, I received email from Steve Kreisler (who had recently moved to Montreuil, France) and Arni Steingrimur Sigurdsson of Reykjavik, Iceland. I consulted my country list and mistakenly came to the conclusion that I had not previously received mail from these countries! In fact, I had. Nathalie Bonleu of Paris, France and Arnthor Saevarsson of Kopavogur, Iceland had both written some time ago. So the announcement is that we've also received mail from these two countries and the apology is that I didn't note it sooner! Welcome to all! It's great to have you in the Guild!
The Nitpicker Central Internet Extension Office (NCIEO) continues to grow. It is located at: www.nitcentral.com. If you have the ability, drop by! We're currently doing Brash Reflections for the fourth season of Star Trek: Voyager.
For those of you who are interested, I am still looking for a publisher and/or agent for my first novel The Son, The Wind and The Reign. The agent with whom I spoke at the William Morris Agency in New York seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth! (No doubt she was abducted by aliens.) After repeated promises to get back with me, she hasn't. Welcome to the Wonderful World of Publishing! I am pursuing other options. I'll let you know if anything happens.
In the meantime, I'm puttering along on my second novel, That Fated Shore. I'm having fun with this one! I'm two-thirds roughed-in and expect to have the first pass finished in another couple of months. Then, I'll start back at the beginning and polish.
I hoped to have some word for you by this now concerning the next Nitpicker's Guide but we're still talking. I'll get back with you later on this as well!
Also, in the last newsletter, I mentioned that Voyager would be replacing Kes with a new character named Seven of Nine. All I can say is that TV Guide was right when they labelled her Barbie from Outer Space! No question what demographic the creators are appealing to with this character! (Read that: Male, 18-14) For those of you who haven't seen Seven of Nine yet, she struts around the ship in high heels wearing a metallic gray catsuit, apparently clad in some kind of corset and WonderBra underneath! (I'm told it takes a costumer twenty minutes just to get actress Jeri Ryan into the outfit!) It's amazing what falling ratings for a sci-fi series will produce. On the positive side, the creators did provide a plausible explanation for Seven of Nine's assimilation long before the Federation's first encounter with the Borg. Her parents were rogue explorers who set out for the Delta Quadrant on their own.
Finally--though I receive a considerable amount of material on a continual basis--every once in a while something comes across my desk that so delights me I just have to share it with you, my fellow nitpickers. My buddy Tim Strathdee emailed me the following account and I thought it was a hoot!
The New Republic reported: A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science related to environmental issues. In his project, the young student urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
The student had many good reasons for urging people to sign the petition since the chemical: 1. can cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. is a major component in acid rain 3. can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. can kill you in the event of accidental inhalation 5. contributes to erosion 6. decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients.
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that dihydrogen monoxide . . . was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"
Happy Nitpicking!
Phil Farrand
Here's a sneak-peak at the upcoming Nitpicker's Guide for X-philes!
Overview
The Nitpickers's Guide for X-philes covers the first four seasons of The X-Files and contains sixteen side bars including "Whose Truth Is Out There" and "You Might Be An X-phile." It will be released in December, 1997 which means it should start showing up on bookstore shelves sometime in the middle of November. If you don't see it, ask the store clerks about it and I'm sure they would be happy to order it for you!
Comments
I think this guide holds the record for the fastest sale to Dell! Kathleen Jayes and I were discussing future guides in 1996 and--given the popularity of the show--I mentioned the possibility of an "X-phile Guide." She immediately responded with something like, "We'll do that book!" And, that was that!
I realize that the subject matter of this Guide is a bit of a departure for a Nitpicker's Guide since all the previous incarnations have dealt with Trek. However, this Guide does illustrate my point that nitpicking should be a celebration of being human. As humans, what we do on any kind of grand scale will always have mistakes in it. We might as well 'fess up to it and have a little fun! Since humans work on The X-Files just like they work on Trek, there are probably going to be some mistakes in The X-Files! And . . . SURPRISE . . . there are!
Some final--and very appropriate--housekeeping before we get to the good stuff. Kathleen Jayes served as editor on this volume as she did for The Nitpicker's Guide for Deep Space Nine Trekkers. As usual, Steve Ettlinger served as agent and book producer.
I did have some much appreciate help on this Guide (aside from all the nits sent in by Proud Members of the Nitpickers Guild, including Bob Potter of Sandy Bay, Tasmania . . . that's in Australia).
Kymberlee Ricke had been collecting nits on The X-Files for several years before I decided to do this guide. (You can find her list at "http://aea16.k12.ia.us/ricke/netpickhome.html". It's called The Netpicker's Guide to The X-Files.) Knowing that The X-Files was a brand new field of nitpicking for me, I thought it would be good to have some extra input. Kymberlee was very kind to agree to serve as Research Consultant for this installment of the Nitpicker's Guide series and gave me access to her work.
Finally, it was tough trying to figure out which review to list for this sneak preview but I finally just grabbed one of my favorite episodes. Hope you enjoy it!
Selected Passage
"Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" September 16 - 21, 1995
Investigating a serial killer who preys on professional prognosticators, Mulder and Scully travel to the Twin Cities. They soon learn The Stupendous Yappi--a "renowned" psychic--is working on the case as well. Even Mulder is unimpressed as Yappi gyrates.
That night, however, an old insurance salesman finds a body in his dumpster and Mulder quickly concludes that Clyde Bruckman is the real thing. Strangely enough, Bruckman's psychic gift--a gift he would love to "give" back--is almost entirely limited to the foreknowledge of how a person will die. He also can sense a vague impression or two about the killer but little else. Even stranger, the killer knows Bruckman is receiving these impressions. After Bruckman receives a death threat from the killer, Mulder and Scully hide him at the very hotel where the killer works as a bellhop. Rushing out to the latest crime scene, Mulder and Scully even bump into him as he delivers a meal to Bruckman's room! Enthralled to meet Bruckman, the killer finally learns the reason he has committed the brutal crimes. As if it's obvious, Bruckman tells the bellhop that he kills people because he's a homicidal maniac.
Thankfully, Mulder and Scully return in time to end the killer's rampage but Bruckman has had enough. Returning home, he commits suicide.
Ruminations
This is a fabulous episode! The first of my three favorite episodes of the third season of The X-Files (which I personally think is the best season thus far despite it's lurchings into gore). Kudos to the creators for this one. Very well done!
Others have noted the multiplicity of inside jokes in this episode. I'll only call your attention to the few additional ones that a compulsive nitpicker would notice. The first occurs as Bruckman listens to the winning numbers in the Lotto drawing. Putting them in numerical order, the winning numbers are: 8, 12, 38, 40 and 44. From Bruckman's ticket we see he picked the numbers: 9, 13, 37, 39, 41, 45! In other words, he's off by one on every number!
There's also a wonderful homage to "Beyond the Sea" in this episode as Mulder tests Bruckman's psychic ability. You may recall that near the beginning of "Beyond the Sea" Mulder tests Luther Lee Boggs's psychic ability by handing him a piece of blue cloth--purportedly from a crime victim. Boggs makes a grand show of producing "clues" to solve the case only to have Mulder retort that he tore the cloth from his New York Knicks tee shirt that morning and it has nothing to do with the crime. Now come with me to this episode as Mulder tests Bruckman. After a time, Scully arrives and calls Mulder into the hall. Bruckman is in the background with a waded up piece of blue cloth pressed against his forehead doing his impression of the Amazing Karnak when suddenly Bruckman yells that the cloth came from Mulder's New York Knicks tee shirt. Mulder hesitates but then replies, "Miss." (To indicate that Bruckman was wrong.)
Great Lines
"Mr. Bruckman, there are hits and there are misses and then there are misses"--Scully to Bruckman after he tells her that they will end up in bed together for his death. I love the look on Scully's face as she gently attempts to tell him that there's no chance that that is going to happen. (Even though it does at the end of the episode!)
Trivia Questions
1. How old is Claude Dukenfield?
2. What is the Stupendous Yappi's phone number?
Plot Oversights
After the opening credits, local police discuss the case at the most recent crime scene. They begin to speak of the "help" that the lead investigator has recruited for the case. We find out later that they are talking about the Stupendous Yappi but the dialogue is very cleverly written to make it sound like they are discussing Mulder. At one point, however, a detective comments that he heard the "help" is a bit unorthodox. While this description fits Mulder, it strains when applied to Yappi. After all, when was the last time you heard of an "orthodox psychic?" (No readings on Saturday maybe?)
After police find a body floating in Glenview Lake--just as Bruckman predicted--Scully is still unimpressed. She muses that perhaps Bruckman is just lucky. In another city, this statement might have merit but this is the Twin Cities area. There's a reason Minnesota is known as the land of 10,000 lakes. On my handy-dandy Rand McNally Road Atlas, I count over 130 named lakes in the St. Paul-Minneapolis area alone.
A few minor items. When Mulder comes to the hotel room where Bruckman is held for safekeeping, we see that Scully hasn't latched the door. Why not? Isn't Bruckman's life in danger? Also when Bruckman tells Mulder of his reoccurring dream, he says that he's laying naked in a field and moments later mentions bugs attacking him. But in the footage shown of this event? Not naked. No bugs. (My gratitude to the creators for the former.)
Bruckman meets the killer when the killer brings a meal to Bruckman's room as part of his employment as a bellhop. Scully realizes this a short time later and rushes back to the hotel in broad daylight. In addition, Mulder confronts the bellhop in the hotel's deserted kitchen. Let's put this together. It's during the day. There is room service and no one's in the kitchen with Mulder. Hmmm.
Changed Premises
Upon entering a crime scene, Mulder is told by a detective that they suspect the work of Satanists because the eyes and entrails of the victim have been left behind. Mulder retorts that Satanists usually take the eyes and leave the body. Then he adds, "and not in anything but modern myths." Obviously Mulder has forgotten about the events of "Die Hand Die Verletzt." In that episode, a practitioner of the black arts named Mrs. Paddock visited Milford Haven, NH. In her first act, she killed a young man and extracted his heart and eyes. (I personally don't have any problem identifying her as a Satanist.)
Equipment Oddities
The lotto ticket that Bruckman purchases contains a few oddities. First, it's labelled "LOTTO 5." This would indicate that players pick five numbers in this particular gambling incarnation. Why then does Bruckman have six numbers on his ticket? Also, the ticket carries a date of October 9, 1995. But screen text clearly identifies this episode as transpiring from September 16-21. Now perhaps, Bruckman could purchase a lotto ticket several weeks in advance but how can he listen to the winning numbers for that ticket on the radio in the middle of September?!
I'd like to know where Scully got her cordless phone. Seeing an advertisement for the Stupendous Yappi as the episode concludes, Scully becomes enraged and throws her handset at the television. At the exact moment of impact, the television shuts off. Since the telephone strikes the center of the screen, it's unlikely that it hit a button on the set itself. And it doesn't seem reasonable that Scully would have enough time grab the remote as the handset hurled across the room to hit the power during the great collision. The only reasonable explanation is the phone has a built-in remote control. When it hit the set, the power button just happened to depress thereby turning off the television. A phone with a remote. I kind of like that idea!
Trivia Answers
1. Forty-three.
2. 1-900-555-YAPP.
More nits that were cut from the NextGen II Guide!
Hollow Pursuits Star Date: 43807.4-43808.2
Lieutenant Reginald Barclay struggles to overcome his addition to holodeck fantasies.
This one is not really a nit, just an observation. With all the odd occurrences all over the Enterprise, La Forge assigns Barclay to test the 4000 power systems of the ship. Barclay tells Picard that he will shut down a few at a time. Barclay has a lot of work ahead of him. Let's say he can test five power systems at a time and it takes him 15 minutes to test each set. That means he can do 20 systems an hour and it will take him 200 hours--or five weeks, given a standard 40 hour week--to complete the task.
Obviously, the Enterprise has no storage regulations. Items are stacked casually around the Cargo Bay 5. One item of note. There are several octagonal containers stacked along one wall, topped off with at least one pentagonal container. Yet, at the conclusion of the episode, when La Forge and Barclay determine that the medical containers use invidium, you can see that the pentagonal containers are only a few inches thick and stand on edge on top of the octagonal containers!
Near the beginning of the episode, Barclay comes to Cargo Bay 5 for the first time. Just before he enters, we see a load of medical containers beamed on board. One of the engineers discovers that the seal on a medical container is broken. Later, the dialogue reveals that the compound invidium is leaking from the containers and causing random problems around the ship. La Forge assigns Barclay to work on an anti-grav unit that experiences such a problem. However, the problems evidently occurred prior to the transports that we witness. So, is this the second load of containers?
At the end of the episode, would it have been possible to eject the warp core and save the ship or were they going too fast for that?
Thanks to: Patrick Danner of Pittsford, NY and Andreas Zech of Berlin, Germany
The Most Toys Star Date: 43872.2
Kivas Fajo masterminds a plan to fake Data's death and kidnap the valuable android.
Troi is absent from the bridge at the most inopportune moments. To fake Data's death, Fajo contaminates a colony's water supply with a chemical that can only be counteracted with hytritium--an unstable compound. Fajo just happens to have a supply of hytritium that he sells to the Enterprise. Since hytritium is too unstable to transport, Data pilots a shuttle back and forth to Fajo's ship. At the beginning of the third trip, Fajo's assistant Varria shocks Data into unconsciousness. She scans Data for a compound composition list and Fajo's crew places those compounds on-board the shuttle to simulate Data's mass. Then, Fajo sends the shuttle out to explode, hoping to convince the Enterprise's crew that Data is dead. Shortly after the explosion, Picard discusses the matter with Fajo yet Troi is nowhere to be seen. Wouldn't this be a great time for her to give one of those "Captain, he's hiding something" speeches?
As part of Fajo's collection, the creators treat us to a view of a lapling--a creature thought to be extinct. Given the sophisticated state of cloning--as seen in "Up the Long Ladder" and "Rightful Heir"--would known species of animals still face this danger in the 24th century?
In this episode, everyone assumes, once again, that Lore is dead. Data is included in Fajo's collection because he is "one-of-a-kind." Please refer to the Changed Premises section of "The Offspring" for a discussion of this topic.
After shocking Data into unconsciousness, Fajo's assistant Varria scans the android to determine his composition. She announces the various compounds and their respective mass to another individual who records them. Wouldn't it be simpler to upload the scan results to Fajo's main computer and then assemble the appropriate mix of elements using the readout from a terminal? Or, does Fajo's ship not have this capability?
When shocked at the beginning of the episode, Data sits in the pilot seat of the shuttle. Later, we see him laying on a couch with his legs hung off the end and his feet flat on the floor. We also see his hands in the exact positions he held when receiving the electrical jolt. This implies some sort of frozen state. But, if Data was frozen in place when shocked, shouldn't he still be in a sitting position?
Sarek Star Date: 43917.4
Sarek makes everyone angry onboard the Enterprise.
On page 194 of the NextGen Guide, I noted that, despite the fact that their hands extend outside the Annular Confinement Beam of the transporter, Sarek and Perrin apparently arrive at their destination intact. Frank T. Bitterhof and Andreas Zech of Berlin, German questioned why they shouldn't given that the transporter quite frequently beams individuals to locations even though the beam does not envelope them. I agree that there are several instance in NextGen when the Annular Confinement Beam does not cover a person's entire body but every one of these instances confuses me. After all, the Technical Manual states that the Annular Confinement Beam "creates a spacial matrix within which the materialize/dematerialize process occurs." (Emphasis mine. Of course, when Frank and Andreas wrote me, they were still bound by the original Nitpicker's Prime Directive and could not use the Technical Manual.)
This one goes by really fast but in my quest to collect door anomalies, it qualifies. Riker and Worf enter Ten-Forward and find a brawl in progress--caused by Sarek transmitting his emotions throughout the ship. Moments later, a crewmember flips another onto a table, smashing the top. (Again with the breakable surfaces! See "Conspiracy" and "The Emissary.") If you pause the tape, and start frame advancing the flip while watching Worf, you will see that our beloved Security Chief almost backs into the double doors yet they remain closed. (I would have thought this an excellent time to open.)
Thanks to: Frank Bitterhoff of Berlin, Germany; Francis Lalumiere and Julie Brossard of Montreal, Quebec; Clark Scanlon of Council Bluffs, IA; Charlie Stelzner of Spokane, WA and Stu Ware of Davenport, IA
Menage a Troi Star Date: 43930.7
DaiMon Tog of the Ferengi falls madly in love with Lwaxana Troi.
I admit it. I was remiss. I should have said something about the ghastly costume that Deanna Troi wears during my review of this episode in the NextGen Guide. Some nitpickers have wondered if it was meant to be funny since this episode contained several very humorous moments. All I can say is this: It must have taken a supreme effort to think up a costume that would make a beautiful woman like Deanna Troi look goofy. Yet somehow, the creators managed to accomplish this amazing task.
Thanks to: Geoffrey Cook of Hammond, IN and Ryan Kelly of Old Brookville, NY
Transfigurations Star Date: 43957.2-43960.6
Crusher's efforts to save an unidentified humanoid male place the Enterprise in the middle of a civil conflict.
I need to mention this nit because several nitpickers sent it in but I'm not sure it's valid. (Sorry, sorry. I have to call them as I see them.) When the Zalkonian captain becomes convinced that John Doe has corrupted the crew of the Enterprise, he turns on some type of suffocation weapon. Picard starts choking. Riker starts choking. Some of the rest of the bridge crew start choking. The episode cuts to Crusher laying on the floor in Sickbay . . . choking. John touches her, then the crewmember in the hall, then the ship and everyone is fine. The episode cuts back to the bridge. Picard struggles to his feet. Data--in a kneeling position--stands with his captain. Many have asked why Data should be affected by the suffocation weapon since he does not need to breathe. From what I see on my tape, I don't think the creators intended to show us that the suffocation weapon affected Data. To me, it appears that Data is fine but simply concerned for his captain. (Of course, one could wonder why Data was away from his post when the rest of the ship is apparently incapacitated!)
(Tell ya what. I will save you the trouble before you even before read this one. "Picky, picky, picky, picky.") When the newly "light-bulbized" John Doe departs the Enterprise we see the stars traveling over the glass dome in the ceiling of the bridge at one rate of speed but when he exits into space the exterior shot show the stars going somewhat faster.
Thanks to: Jim Jacobson of Spokane, WA
The Best of Both Worlds Star Date: 43989.1-43993.5
The Borg kidnap Picard as a precursor to their domination of Earth.
On page 201 of the NextGen Guide, I noted that the Borg ship set course for Sector 001, the Terran system and Earth after capturing Picard. I said I realized that this evoked an emotional response in the viewer but observed that it implied the Earth had some foundational role in the Federation--an implication I felt was a tad ethnocentric. Boy, oh boy, did I get the letters on this one! Garner MacDonald of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia wrote first, noting that the Star Trek Chronology states that Earth was a founding member of the Federation. I would only add this in my defense. In 178 hours of Star Trek: The Next Generation, the creators never found a place to communicate this simple fact in plain English! You see, I had a point to prove with the original Nitpicker's Prime Directive. Restricting the nitpicking information to the television series alone reveals something about the storytelling cohesiveness of Star Trek: the Next Generation. The "Federation" is an essential part of the backdrop of every NextGen episode. Good storytelling requires solid development of the setting. I had spent hundreds of hours watching the first six season of NextGen and never found anything to convince me that Earth had a foundation role in the Federation. (Yes, many of the important structures of the Federation reside on Earth but that fact can be chalked up to terra-centrism.)
Just after the crew of the Enterprise "engage the Borg," Picard tells the Borg that Starfleet has new defensive capabilities and is prepared to use them if the Borg do not withdraw from Federation space. Oooh, now there's a threat! ("Listen here, buddy. You better get back or I'm going to turn on my shields!")
Does it seem like Shelby's a bit too insubordinate in her attitudes toward Riker?
Showing up on the bridge to tell Riker that the main navigational deflector is ready to fire, La Forge and Wesley claim that the entire forward half of the secondary hull and the lower three decks of the saucer section must be evacuated. Troi immediately says, "I'll see to that," and looks as if she heads off the bridge. Riker tells the away team to get the Borg ship out of warp. Data and Worf start blowing up power distribution nodes. Then--one minute after Troi says, "I'll see to that"--the action returns to the bridge and she sits beside Riker apparently finished with her task! Now, I realize that she could have trotted over to a terminal and entered the evacuation order but if that's all she intended to do, why didn't she just flop down in her seat and enter the order on the terminal beside her chair?
I discussed this issue in my review of "Q Who," but I should note it here as well. In that episode, Q tells Picard that the Borg are neither male nor female yet Riker discovers on the Borg ship that the Borg begin life as humanoids. If we assume that the Borg are not androgynous like the J'naii of "The Outcast," we must conclude that the Borg begin life as either male or female and are "modified" to acquire their asexual designation. We must also conclude that any humanoid assimilated by the Borg would undergo this same "modification." (I propose a moment of empathy in which all males in the reading audience widen their eyes slightly and let out a yelp of understanding for our beloved captain.)
After locking onto the Enterprise for the first time with a tractor beam in this episode, the Borg cut into the hull at Main Engineering. La Forge manages to escape to the bridge as do many of his people. The escape sequence looks very clean when you compare it when the scenes from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan when Khan blows a hole in the Engineering hull. In that movie, people are flying everywhere.
The Engineering station on the bridge must have a "Main Engineering just got blown up so I better turn on because La Forge is probably on his way up here" sensor. Normally, when La Forge transfers engineering control to the bridge he must walk up to the station and do it manually. In this episode, the station is already on when he arrives.
Wouldn't those phaser rifles that we've seen on extremely rare occasions come in handy on a mission like the one to the Borg vessel?
The forcefield around Locutus behaves rather oddly. After bringing the Borg ship out of warp, the away team find themselves facing an onslaught of Borg. They catch a glimpse of Picard as Locutus and Worf runs to his position. Worf hits the forcefield and it slams him backward. If you pause the tape and advance it one frame at a time you will note that after Worf hits the field, his knee actually goes completely through the field. I thought force fields acted like walls.
Evidently, the crew of the Enterprise has begun buying their teapots from the Mariposan/Bringloidi colony. Picard uses one as he serves tea to Admiral Hanson near the start of the episode. It looks just like the one on Prime Minister Granger's desk.
These little Borgettes can sure move fast when they want to. After locking onto the Enterprise the second time with their tractor beam, the Borg send a squad to retrieve Picard. The first one materializes on the bridge near the door to the ready room. In an amazing display worthy of a Security Chief, Worf actually kills the Borg with a blast from his phaser. The Borg collapses. A second Borg appears on the other side of the bridge near the dedication plaques. This Borg has a personal shield and soon knocks both Riker and Worf unconscious. Meanwhile a third Borg appears and grabs Picard. The camera then cuts to show us the second Borg beaming back to his ship except that now he suddenly stands in front of the ready room doors on the opposite side of the bridge! The next shot shows the dead Borg dissipating. The only thing I can figure out is the second Borg ran behind the camera and ripped the subspace links from the first Borg when we were watching the third Borg take Picard.
Thanks to: Kailen Hong of Turtleford, Saskatchewan; Keith Martin of Manassas, VA; Jeff McConnell of Altoona, PA; Toby Peregrino of Milwaukee, WI; Craig Sawyer of Seattle, WA; Peter Schaub of Solna, Sweden and Douglas Scott of Arlington, TX
Nitpicking. The Final Expression of Fandom. These are the Continuing Communications of Nitpicker Central
I always enjoy hearing from you. Here's a small portion of the input that's come in over the last three months. Obviously, this isn't everything. An eight -page newsletter containing all the stuff that's come in would need a microfilm reader! Old business first, then new.
Picard's Secret Identity (Part Final)
With my assistance as intermediary, Johanna Sundberg and Alan Brown discussed the matter of "pariseinne" and arrived at a conclusion. Not really sure what it was but . . . they did arrive at a conclusion! I believe that Alan bowed to Johanna in the end. Of course, it might all be a moot point anyway because--as Adam Bernay offered--Earth in the 24th century might be so PC that all the masculine and feminine forms have been outlawed! (It's the Borgification of language! Aaaaaah!)
On the other hand, Steve Kreisler (who recently moved to Montreuil, France) had this to say, "As a resident of Picard's 'country' (ok, I know they have a world government in the 24th century, but even so), I just can't resist putting in my two cents (or perhaps my two centimes). I don't have a tape of the episode in question so I can't listen to Picard speaking French, but I can assure you of one thing: here in the greater Paris area, 'parisiennes' is not pronounced the same as 'parisiens.' Having (I hope) cleared that up, I'm now going to muddy the waters again with some further observations. If Picard does indeed say 'nous sommes tous parisiennes,' he actually uses a combination of masculine and feminine. In the construction that Picard uses, both the word 'tous' and the word 'parisiennes' must agree in gender and number with the word 'nous' (which means 'we'). Since 'we' refers to mixed company, Picard should, as Johanna correctly stated, use the masculine plural form of both words. He does get 'tous' correct (it's masculine plural), but slips up on 'parisiennes' (feminine plural). This could certainly be a Freudian slip; however, I tend towards a simpler explanation: Picard has simply spent too many years on starships speaking 'Federation Standard' (i.e. English), and he's forgotten the basic grammar of his native tongue!"
And on that note, I officially pronounce this topic closed!
Preambles And War (Part 2)
Alan Brown of Burlington, Ontario commented on my comments about Picard's comments that Pearl Harbor was the"bloody preamble to war", "You're sounding more like a Canadian all the time, Phil. Yes, the U.K., Canada, France, Italy, etc. had been at war since 1939. But you guys were officially neutral until Pearl Harbor. Hence, from an American standpoint, Pearl Harbor was the preamble. What's interesting here is that Picard is supposed to be French--should Pearl Harbor be the first example that comes to mind for a Frenchman?"
Replicator Measurements (Part 2)
Paul Lalli of Feeding Hills, MA observed, "I still disagree with your position on the Replicator not being able to understand '12 ahgians' in "The Defector." The UT translates languages beautifully, as you stated. Translating between languages is not the same as converting between measuring systems. Simply because I can speak both English and Spanish, does not necessarily mean I can convert between degrees Fahrenheit and degrees Celsius. NextGen often stated that the Federation had next to no knowledge of the Romulan culture, so how could they possibly know the conversion between Ahgians and Celsius degrees, and therefor how could they program that non-existent knowledge into their replicators?"
Well, first of all, I'm personally convinced that all that stuff about the Federation not knowing anything about Romulan culture is a bunch of hooey! Data seems to do just fine recreating an exact copy of the Valley of Chula in this same episode. I suspect that "Oh, we don't know anything about the Romulans" is just a smoke-screen. As for the replicator not knowing what ahgians are, I have no problem with that particular device lacking this knowledge. My problem is with the Universal Translator.
And here's why . . . in expanded form (I admit I was terse and not clear as to the totality of my reasoning in the NextGen Guide!)
In order to make any sense of the UT and its performance in Trek you have to factor in many observed capabilities including, but not limited to: the UT knows when to translate and when not to translate; the UT can not only translate but also "colloquialize" (A minor example: Kira says she "flies by the seat of her pants."); the UT alters the way a person forms the words that they speak (We never see the "dubbed movie" effect. People always look like they are talking English. At least in the English version of the episodes!)
Now, what does this mean? From a real-life standpoint it means that the creators have chosen to ignore the Language Problem by waving the magic UT over it. Okay, fine. They get to make the rules. They can do that if they choose. From a nitpicking standpoint, it means that the UT is an automagic device that reads minds and actually seizes control of a person's mouth, tongue and voicebox and forces them to speak Federation Standard! (Yikes!)
From either standpoint, in my humble opinion, the scene in "The Defector"--when Jarok attempts to order water at 12 ahgians and is told the replicator doesn't understand the measurement--is a little too convenient to make a plot point. On one hand, if the creators want to wave the UT over the Language Problem and make it go away then fine. But isn't it a bit cheesy in that case to resurrect the Language Problem just to show how isolated Jarok feels? On the other hand, if the UT is both telepathic and telekinetic why shouldn't it know what "ahgians" are? And, why wouldn't it tell the replicator? (Does this explain my position better?)
Historical Revisionism According To Trek (Part 2)
Shane Tourtellotte observed, "I noted Paul Cunneen's comments on 'The City on the Edge of Forever' in the latest newsletter. I could dispute whether Edith Keeler could have postponed the American embargo of Japan; that's a matter of opinion. However, the Trooper-Verdun nit is less defensible. There were Americans who volunteered with the Allies before the USA entered the war. A native of my hometown, Westfield, New Jersey, is credited by some as being the first to carry an American flag 'over the top,' serving with the Canadians, I believe. It's entirely possible someone could have enlisted with the French in time for Verdun, in 1916. For parallels, look at the American 'Flying Tigers' who fought in China against the Japanese well before Pearl Harbor, or the Lincoln Brigade, American volunteers who fought against Franco in the Spanish Civil War."
Along the same lines, Jonathan Klein added, "While the Battle of Verdun of World War One was before the US entry into the war, to say that there were no American soldiers in the battle is [not correct]. More than a few US citizens, hoping for glory, joined foreign armies. The best example is the Famous (well, famous if you study air history) Escadrille American, better known as the Lafeyette Escadrille. This was a squadron in the French Air Force, composed almost entirely of American volunteers. They saw action at Verdun. Between this elite group of fighter pilots and whatever US boys had signed up in the French or British armies, surely some guy from the US must have had his legs blown off at the battle. So while it is unlikely that Kirk would meet a US veteran from Verdun minus his legs, it is not impossible. Of course, had Ellison simply said 'the battle of Chateau Thierry, or Belleu Wood,' after the US had entered the war, it would be much simpler."
Concerning Edith Keeler's contribution, Mark Luta of Cincinnati, Ohio wrote, "It is not generally appreciated today how stunning and complete the German conquest of France was, but the fact is that by summer of 1940 Germany had won the war. Germany and her allies ruled virtually all of Europe west of the Soviet Union, and Hitler and Stalin had divided Poland as a gesture of good faith. The only question anyone was asking was how soon the British Empire would sue for peace, and the Japanese attacks on British possessions in the Pacific were the only link between the war in Europe and in the Pacific. All of this happened a year and a half before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Given this situation, the FDR Administration concluded that the real threat was in Europe; it would be many years before Japan could mount a credible military threat. (US possessions in the Pacific fell so quickly because of a treaty not to fortify the islands, not because of Japanese military superiority.) A simple example shows this to be obvious. In the late 1930s, Japan was proud to have tripled aircraft production to just under 400 planes per year, owing to the shift to a war economy. In 1943, the United States produced 100,000 planes! Similarly, Japan produced a couple thousand tanks during the entire war. Germany reached peak tank production in December, 1944, at 849 units in one month.
"So the question became how to defend Europe while remaining 'neutral.' The answer was to blatantly violate the Neutrality Act under the guise of shipping non-war material under a 'lend-lease,' and explaining it all away with some nonsense about lending your neighbor a hose while his house was burning. Unlike WWI, America's contribution to winning WWII was supplies, more so than troops. After Germany shattered the Soviet arm in summer 1941 (months before Pearl Harbor), it was massive quantities of American trucks that allowed the Soviets to retain mobility and organize another defense. American warships protected convoys to Britain and to Murmansk. American aircraft were used in the search for the Bismarck. Had Edith Keeler changed FDR's Administration to a more pacifist outlook, Germany very likely would have defeated the Soviet Union when the Soviets ran out of supplies, and Britain would have sued for peace when no convoys reached her shores. It was actually a bit of serendipity that Germany did declare war on the US, since FDR might still have had some problem putting the bulk of our effort into Europe when we were not being attacked there."
Romulan Ale (Part 2)
Rob Roszkowski wrote concerning my wonderment that the replicators on the Enterprise-D couldn't do Romulan ale when Kirk had it on the Enterprise-A, "Kirk makes a note to the Galley (as in Kitchen, as in pre-replicator time) not to serve Romulan ale. They have actual food samples you see. Replicators (made before 85 years later) probably had no samples, since after the Tomed Incident 53 years prior to Neutral Zone (TNG) we had no contact with the Romulans."
The Hand That Wasn't Injured On The Plank That Wasn't There.
Kathy Davis of Apollo, PA wrote, "[In Star Trek: Generations,] watch Worf's left hand as he falls into the sea during the 'remove plank' moment. It bangs off of the plank, which is no longer there!"
Balls And Strikes
Stephen MacQueen of Calgary, Alberta observed--concerning "The Most Toys"--"Data is being held captive by Fajo on his ship. He finds out that he can't get at Fajo because Fajo has a personal shield hanging from his belt that activates when Data comes near. It works, as Fajo says, when it detects 'positronic pathways.' Data's circuitry, in other words.
"So why doesn't Data just pick up something that can get at Fajo? He could throw it at the shield device thus breaking it, then go and wring the fat little potato's neck until he lets him go!
"We know that Data can move far faster and is more precise and accurate than any human, so his pitching skills should be remarkable. He also walked by a couple of objects that looked remarkably like steel ball bearings just as Fajo was telling him about the shield. He should have been able to pick one of them up, calculated its weight, determined distance, then the trajectory, and thrown all before Fajo knew that Data had even moved. He could have even waited until Fajo was in the right position so that he could clip the device off his belt without any chance of hurting him."
I checked the tape. Fajo actually says that the field impedes positronic activity. Possibly the field activates whenever anything is near but also has the side-effect of hindering Data's brain activity! In that case, anything thrown at Fajo would simply bounce away like Data did! (I included this nit because others have submitted it as well.)
Turbolifts Today!
Rob Levandowski alerted me to a news item carried by CNN. Otis Elevator has announced a new system called Odyssey in which the cab goes horizontally as well as vertically. Since elevator cables are normally only safe up to approximately 1800 feet, this new system--with its shorter shafts and shorter cabling will allow the construction of taller buildings. According to an official at Otis, a French developer is already committed to using the system in an office and apartment building complex in Malaysia and Japanese developers are discussing buildings 4000 meters tall (over two miles)!
She's Only "Mostly" Stunned
Jayson Spears of Phoenix, AZ noted concerning the Classic episode "Return of the Archons," "After Kirk stuns the mob in the alley, he notices that O'Neil has become a slave of Landru. As Kirk and company leave to find shelter, a stunned woman in the alley moves her leg."
Bashir-Style Bootlicking
Edwin B commented, "In 'Babel,' a genetically engineered virus causes the people on DS9 to suffer from aphasia. Bashir isolates the virus from the first patient (O'Brien), investigates it, and later discusses his findings with Sisko. During this discussion, Bashir and Sisko are wondering where the virus came from. Meanwhile, they are looking at the medical display that shows a DNA double helix. During this discussion, Bashir states that 'this protein series is the key,' while pointing at the display showing the DNA double helix. What is Bashir doing here? Pleasing Sisko with his Medical Babble? Even in the 20th century, every first year med student knows that DNA as a whole is a protein, constructed out of linear polymers of nucleotides. The different nucleotide/basepair sequences determine the information that this biological information storage medium contains.
"What amazes me even more is that the makers of DS9 did not detect this error because later, when Bashir analyzes [another] sample, the computer [correctly] states that 'the nucleotide sequence remains intact.' Furthermore, Surmak Ren investigates Bashir's notes on the nucleotide sequence and comes up with an antidote. So why this strange statement on the protein series in the beginning of the episode?"
SOLVED: The Mystery of Hollywood Weapons
Brian Jones commented, "I was looking through the DS9 guide the other day, and I saw the nit from 'Past Tense' where the guys cock the rifles a lot but never fire. You thought this was weird. I did too, until I thought about it a little, then it made sense. They are obviously using BB guns. As all my friends will tell you (I live in Oklahoma, where BB guns are BIG), the more you cock a BB gun, the more powerful it is when you fire it."
Then Again, Einstein Wasn't Exceptional At Math Either
Daniel Tyman of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania noted, "[In] 'A Matter of Time,' a time traveler from the past visits the Enterprise posing as a historian from the future. I was recently watching the episode on tape, and noticed something odd. Rasmussen, the time-traveler, asks Riker what he thought was the biggest development in technology, or something to that effect, in the last 200 years. Riker responds with the answer of the warp drive. Now, this episode takes place well after 2364, the year Data gives in "The Neutral Zone" That would place the invention of warp drive after 2164. "First Contact" has it taking place in the 2060's. Uh-oh. It appears our good first officer failed history. Either that or he failed math and got the dates mixed up. Or, this could just be a nit."
Another Scene We'll Never See
Brian Jones informed, "I'd like to make a nomination for 'Best Scene We'll Never See.' [During 'Future's End,' Parts 1 and 2,] the creators missed the best joke in the show by not having at least one of the cast do the Macarena."
Are You Looking At Me? Are You Looking at ME?!
Richard Stansbury of Wichita, KS observed, "I would like to tell you of my most defined and best supported nit from Star Trek: First Contact. I call it 'The Pager Face Hypothesis.' Frakes and the producers did not try very hard to hide the fact that they had only about 13 or 14 different actors playing Borg. This can be most easily seen through a particular Borg (I call Pager Face) that has what looks like a pager over one of its eyes and is obviously the same actor. Unfortunately he is not a minor Borg. He's in almost every scene! Here are some examples: When Picard tries to hot wire the door to get into Main Engineering, 'Pager Face' attacks and Data is forced to break his neck. The next major scene is when Picard is on the holodeck. Picard shoots two Borg, one is 'Pager Face.' Through many of the scenes in which the Borg queen is talking to Data, you can see 'Pager Face' in the background. Finally, you can see 'Pager Face' on the deflector array after it is released."
Then Again, Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction
Daniel Tyman of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania wrote, "In the April 1996 Newsletter, you said you 'have yet to stroll into a room and meet someone who looks exactly like someone else' you know. Well I can say in complete honesty that I have. When my best friend started going to college, he was walking along when he was suddenly stopped. The person who stopped him looked identical to him. They have since become friends and I can state with no uncertainty that they are identical! The only difference is that my friend is less clean shaven. Not only do they look alike, they are relatively the same age. So barring some secret cloning, this does happen." Sound like a case of "Separated At Birth" to me! Either that or Serial Ovotypes from The X-Files! (Grin.)
I've Heard Of Thinking With Your Heart, But With Your Liver?!
Robert J Woolley, MD, commented, "I saw a medical nit last night that was so outrageous I just have to tell somebody, and you're the only one who might care. It was on a 'Picket Fences' rerun, the episode (a good one) where a man kills his brother, and the question is whether it was intentional or accidental. The man is unable to recognize faces due to 'visual agnosia' resulting from a brain tumor. At one point in the episode, Dr. Brock looks at a CAT scan, and tells the patient that the brain tumor is slightly larger, but not much. The problem is that the CAT scan she's looking at on the view box is of a liver and spleen!"
Vox Populi
Dana-Jean LaHaie of Mesa, Arizona observed, "In 'Bread and Circuses,' Spock, McCoy and Kirk remark again and again upon the parallel development between the planet in the episode and Earth. Spock even remarks at one point, 'Perfect, colloquial English.' Excuse me! If Rome never fell, why are the people speaking English? English would not have existed on this planet because if Rome never fell, there would have been no England to speak English in! The language of Rome was Latin."
Roddenberry Visits Deep Space Nine!
Luigi Rosa of Pavia, Italy wrote, "I've found what I believe to be the first blooper of this kind in DS9. In the episode 'A Simple Investigation,' just after the opening titles, there is a scene between Kira and Odo in one of the Cargo Bays. Right after Kira asks Odo, 'You gonna see her again?' We see Odo in front of a pile of black containers. In one of them you can see clearly a reflected image of a camera operator. He could be the camera assistant or, if the scene was shot with a steadycam, the steadycam operator."
I tried to double check Luigi's nit but my tape is a bit fuzzy and it's tough to tell. However, I love his kind of nit so much that I had decided to include it anyway! Not only that, it gave me a chance to use an inside joke in the header. You might recall that Gene Rodenberry died just prior to the airing of "Unification," Parts I and II (TNG). You might also recall that there is a similar production error in which the face of one of the production crew is reflected in a glass pyramid on Sela's desk. What you may not know is that there were fans, distraught by Roddenberry's death, who actually called Paramount to say that they had seen the face of Roddenberry appear in the pyramid during the show. This apparently gave them the great comfort that his spirit lived on in Trek!
Ask Not For Whom The Man Sows
Brian Lombard informed, "I've finally solved one of the greatest mysteries in Star Trek history. Who designs the Starfleet uniforms? The answer is none other than [Master Tailor] Captain Benjamin Sisko. Here's why I say this. While watching 'The Visitor' recently, I noticed in the alternate timeline that 37 year old Nog was wearing the Next Gen style uniform when he went to visit Jake and his wife. I guess this means that if Sisko spent his life trapped in subspace, Starfleet never adopted the current 'First Contact' style uniform!" By the way, Brian sent in the header too so you can't blame me for that one!
Finally, A Legitimate Use For The Swedish Bikini Team
Early on--as you might recall--dialogue in Star Trek: Voyager established that the holodecks used an energy matrix completely incompatible with the rest of the ship. This allowed the very convenient circumstance whereby the creators could have Voyager limping along in desperate need of energy while crew members frolic on the holodeck. John Myers wasn't satisfied with this kind of fiddle-faddling so he came up with a few solutions.
"How about this: Tell the holodeck to give you Death Valley. Replicate or manufacture solar panels (electric or whatever). Put [them] in holodeck. Holodeck energy is converted to Light which is converted to 'normal' energy.
"Or . . . a Holgraphic boiler producing steam to drive a turbine. Or . . . a Holographic water falling down a slope over a waterwheel. Or maybe even . . . 'Computer, simulate engine room' and then plug in standard cables.
"The Holodeck can produce heat, light, and motion. Even if the power signatures are so incompatible--what a strange idea--that the Holoreactors cannot be tapped then the indirect conversion should be possible, even if it's just Harry's bikini team on exercise-bikes attached to dynamos. ('Bridge to Holodeck - more speed! Pedal faster.')"
Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You
On August 29, 1997, Corey Hines of Hamilton, Ontarios sent the following message, "HAPPY JUDGEMENT DAY! According to Terminator 2, we should have all died early this morning. New nit for that movie."
And Now A Word From Our Comedy Division
Brian Straight observed, "In case you haven't seen or heard of 'Liar, Liar,' it's about a lawyer who has a curse placed on him, and he physically can't tell a lie for an entire day. Whenever he tries, his mouth takes control and forces the truth or some weird gibberish out. [Unfortunately,] Fletcher (the lawyer, played by Jim Carrey), tells a lie during the day that he supposedly isn't able to. His secretary inquires about a picture frame he bought for her (he claimed it was from Tiffany's). She asks him if it's real. He replies with something like 'I bought it at a garage sale for 50 cents.' She gets upset and storms off. Fletcher then (groveling for her to come back) says, 'Wait! I didn't understand the question . . .' which is, of course . . . a lie."
The Mirror and Two Faces
NOTE: This one has spoiler information! If you haven't seen "Doctor Bashir, I Presume," you might want to skip the next paragraph!
Urac Sigma noted, "I just watched the DS9 episode 'Doctor Bashir, I Presume.' We find out there that Julian's a GELF . . . he actually describes how the genetic resequencing changed his height, weight . . . basically everything except his name. Therefore, it must have been pretty much because of this resequencing that he looks like he does now (i.e. like Alexander Siddig.) But . . . Mirror-Bashir over in the Mirrorverse looks exactly the same. Surely there wasn't time, with the human race getting themselves summarily oppressed, for young Julian to fall behind at school and then go and get himself some Fancy-Dan new DNA? He should look completely different." This is what happens when story-tellers make up a character's history on the fly!
Knead, Let Rise, Knead Again, Bake At 350
Todd Felton actually sent in this nit first but Laures Pinson of Wilmington, DE, had the more complete entry. She wrote, "I was watching the new DS9, 'Children of Time,' and I saw something that I had to watch again. When Bashir puts Odo away in his new and improved bucket, the container is a bread machine with a couple displays glued on. The lid and shape of the machine tipped me off, but the click! sound made when the glass bucket (or maybe transparent aluminum) is pushed down into the machine was a dead giveaway. The bucket even looks like the breadpan!"
Groaners (Take A Deep Breath, This Won't Hurt A Bit)
Thanks of Kurt Harbaugh, Wells P. Martin, Scott Vogt and Kevin Weiler for sending these along.
What do you call a half-Vulcan, half-Bajoran rap star? Tuvok Shakaar.
What does Commander Ivanova use to take a bath ? Bubbleon 5.
Did you hear that Odo changed his name after completing his Jedi Training? Now he calls himself, "Yodo."
What crewmember of the U.S.S. Righteous is like Voyager's shuttlebay, and how? Ensign Tardis, because she takes up more space than it appears. (Explanation: Ensign Targis came from the Star Trek: Borg CD-ROM. This also explains how Voyager can have so many shuttles! The TARDIS came from Dr. Who, and is only the size of a phone booth on the outside, while being at least the size of a large mansion inside.)
And now in honor of Voyager's newest crewmember . . .
If Seven of Nine married Gary Seven, would she be Seven of Seven?
If Seven of Nine married Gary Seven, divorced him, then married Dr. Sevrin, would she be Seven of Seven Sevrin?
If Seven of Nine married Norman 11, would she be Seven of Eleven? (Note from Phil: And would she acquire an accent? And would she begin selling Slushies?)