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I'm in a rush today. Lots to do. Expect typos! First, some comments from previous columns . . .
Daniel Tyman: References to Star Trek in other Entertainment. Mine comes from an episode of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" a few years ago. The guest star on that particular episode was none other than William Shatner as himself. His tooth gets broken during a game of billiards, and he goes to the dentist. While there, the gas is left one and hilarity ensues. It had too many Star Trek jokes to mention them all. But one of the funnier ones took place when an Asian man walked by and Shatner yelled out "Sulu." After the man ignored him, Shatner said "I never liked that guy," a good spoof to their alleged problems. Just seeing William Shatner act intoxicated was worth the half hour.
Matt Nelson: The "Dilbert" comic strip is also loaded with great Star Trek jokes. In a particularly funny strip, Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch talking about the Microsoft software Dilbert just bought.
DOGBERT: So you didn't read the fine print on the software licensing agreement and inadvertently signed up to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his new mansion. When do we move?
(Room shakes; RUMBLE sound effect)
Last panel; a Borg cube breaks through Dilbert's wall.
CUBE: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
DILBERT: The house... has come for me.
Later in the story, Dilbert is rejected by Gates' new house because he can't figure out the entrance tests. It's an incredibly funny storyline.
Craig Cicero: When Shatner was on Saturday Night Live (a LONG time ago), one of the sketches had Shatner (as himself) speaking at a Trek convention. All (or most) of the fans were in Starfleet regalia, Vulcan ears, shirts that said "I grok Spock" (the whole nine yards), and asked questions like "What was the combination of the safe in episode 32?" (not verbatim- it's been a LONG time).
The really funny part was when the very exasperated Shatner yells (approximately),"What is with you people? It's just a show! GET A LIFE!"
Also, SNL (maybe on the Shatner episode, I'm not sure) had the "next" Star Trek movie (five or six, supposedly) Star Trek: The Resturant Enterprise. I don't remember this sketch too well but I do remember that Khan came onboard (who I THINK was played by Dana Carvey, but I'm really not sure).
Dave Tayman: Another reference to STAR TREK in FREAKAZOID! -- I don't remember the particulars of the episode, I just remember that a character who either was voiced by (which I doubt) or just imitaded Ricardo Montalban was giving a speach. In it, he begins giving the 'He tasks me! He tasks me!' speach from ST2:Wrath of Kahn, then stops, says something like, "Oops..wrong sand continues on. I found it hilarious ;)
Gina Torgersen: JoAnna Walsvik mentioned a reference to Star Trek in a recent Garfield comic strip. This one can be found in Garfield Hits the Big Time, his 25th book:
Garfield walks onto his scale. It goes "Bweep! Bweep! Bweep!"
The scale says:
"Captain, our sensors have picked up something!"
"Go to visual!"
"Woah! What is that thing?!"
"It appears to be a hideous blob of fat, sir!"
"FIRE PHASERS!"
"Phasers have no effect, sir!"
Then Garfield looks angry and says, "I hate you," to the scale.
The scale says, "Sir, I'm picking up some hostile readings."
Patrick Sweeney: There have been many Star Trek FoxTrots. The one mentioned last week is hanging on my wall as we speak. It is from Sunday 2-18-96. It is available in one of the Fox Trot books. Basically the kid plays with action figures, x-files, Star Trek, Knight Rider, and mixes them together with the emphasis on Trek:DS9. Pretty cool. One other was during the week of Generations release, well, it was a series of daily strips, with different Trekkie references, and a neat one that is posted on my toolbox, the kids are in the theater candy line dressed up, and are asking for Trek foods. Funny!!!!
Brian Straight: After a long, uneventful, day at work I had time to think up alot of Trek references. Star Trek: The most parodied, refered to, and greatest Si-Fi show of all time!
Simpsons: In one episode Springfeild buys a monorail system (with Homer as the engineer!), and Lenard Nemoy (sp?) is at the christening of the maiden voyage. The mayor screws up his introduction (I think he says he's Mark Haml from Star Wars), and on the train Spock recounts his days on the show "On the show we didn't actualy have automatic doors, we had two people on either side of the doors who would pull them open..." the passenger he's talking to meekly asks "does anyone want to trade seats?" At the end of the episode Spock makes a Star Trek-esque speach and is beamed out.
Also in the Simpsons, bart is turned into a nerd by getting heavy glasses, specail shoes to correct his back, and a gel to help a dryness in his scalp. Martin (another Springfeild Elm nerd) takes him to an underworld for nerds to work on projects w/o tourment. One of the nerds is seen working on a model of the Enterprise.
The Critic: Jay son, who goes to a multi-ethnic school, has Klingons in his school. In one episode he's running for class-prez and is holding an election party. The Klingon kids visit, when they leave their mother beams down and takes them away, a moment later they beam back down, she makes them thank Jay's son for the party, and they beam back up.
Parker Lewis, Can't Lose: In one episode Parker's dad is in heavy competition with a rival Video-Rental store. By the end of the episode his dad won the competition and he takes command of his store again buy barking Kirk-esque orders at his "crew" "Parker go check the drop box, Shelly order more videos, Honey make me some coffee (something like that)" and he finishes with " and Mr. Sulu set a course for the Neutral Zone" all while Star Trek music trumpets in the background.
Seinfeld: I don't know if he did this joke on the show or not (think he did), but it goes something like this: "That's why Star Trek is the ultimate guy fantasy. You've got one guy who's in charge of everybody sitting in a big chair in his living room, with a big-screen TV. That's why all of the aliens we're always visting the Enterprise, Monday night Klingon Boxing.."
In the "Ace Ventura" movies. Ace imetates Captain Kirk. In "Pet Detective" he makes a communicatort noise and says "Captains log stardate 3452. rounded off to the nearest decmal point..." (or something). After his speach he turns round an imitates Mc Coy and Scotty.
In "Loaded Weapon One" (a parody of Lethal Weapon) the police captain tries to use a coffee machine, it dosen't work, and he yells "Scotty get this thing fixed!" James Dohan ries from nehind it a says "I'm tryin' Captain, but if I work any faster she'll blow!"
In "Crimson Tide" the XO helps motivate an electritian to fix a radio by refering to Trek. Close to the end he gets on the PA and says "CONN to SONAR. This is Captain Kirk, I need warp drive on that radio.."
In the movie "Just one of the Boys" (a movie about a girl who dresses, and passes, as a boy for a shortwhile so she can get into a newspaper class, or something) There's a group of "nerds" at her school who dress in Star Trek-like uniforms, and run around acting like they're on the show. At one point one of them acts like he's using a tricorder on a bully and says "no intelligent life here" and later another one is in a quidance counselor's office as she says "Yes, I do think being a starship captain is a lofty goal, but I think you need to think of something a little more down to Earth."
In the Sierra Computer game series "Space Quest" there are several references to Star Trek, but I can only think of two.
In SQ 3. Part of the game takes you to an intergalactic fast food joint. Just before your ship arrives, on an outside shot of the building a ship resembling the Enterptrise leaves one of the docking jet ways.
In SQ 5. The first part of the game takes place in an acdamey. While in the main hallway there are windows facing out into the parking area for the ships. In one screen the rear end to the Enterprise can be seen. Clicking the "look" icon on it brings up a message that says something like "That's the recently de-comissioned Behememouth-class ship..." incidently the program came out around the same time as ST vi.
Also I'm sure HUNDREDS of TV commercails, news anchors, and magazine/newspaper articles have done this. Contorted the old "Boldly go where no man has gone before" line to suit their purpose. Like "The new Plymoth Voyager boldly goes where no mini-van has gone before", etc.
Chris Marks of Maidenhead,UK: In one of the musical segements of Animaniacs (I think it was called 'The Big Wrap Party'), there's a character who bares a remarkable resemblance to Colm Meaney. Also, in one of the comics (I think it's Animaniacs as well, but it could be in Pinky and The Brain), there's a Pinky and The Brain story called 'Brain's Spock', which includes the William Shatner channel (All! Shatner!, all! the! time!), plus a load of other references.
Daniel Tyman: I am shocked no one has mentioned the Nitpickers Guide I most wish to see. The one I would rush out to the stores and buy immediately. That would be the guide for Gilligan's Island. It would be a wonderful idea. The show had enough goofs that it would be vastly entertaining. And I am sure your publisher would go for it, as it has a tremendous fan base.
I would like to hear what the rest of the Guild has to say on this. I am sure that if we all make our voices heard, the Nitpickers Guide to Gilligan's Island will become a reality.
Phil: I would love to do a Nitpicker's Guide to Gilligan's Island and there is not doubt a large fan base. The problem is that the fan base is not very vocal and it doesn't get much press. In the case of Nitpicker's Guide, they live in the fanstasy realm that is created by the media. A show has to be constantly touted as great in the people for the people at Dell to believe it's a great show. And it's not just the people at Dell. All the people down the line right out to the managers at book stores have to be convinced that it's a worthwhile book to have on their shelves as well. How do they know this? Partly by how they whether or not they like the show themselves and partly by what the media tells them is hot!
Matt Nelson: I've seen Spock too, and Kevin Rudolph claims to have seen Kirk, but I haven't been able to make him out. Has anyone been able to confirm these little hidden goodies with the creators?
Phil: Not that I know of and I'm not sure any one would 'fess up to it even if they did it on purpose! I doubt they secured Nimoy's permission to use his face!
Chris Marks of Maidenhead,UK: Where's Bajor? When the Defiant leaves the station and heads for the wormhole, it travels across the station and towards the wormhole. In Emissary, the station is moved form Bajor towards the wormhole. Therefore when the Defiant departs in the credits, Bajor should be right behind it.
Phil: If I recall, "Emissary" established that Bajor was something like 160 million kilometers from the wormhole. ("But at what point in Bajor's orbit," you ask? "I don't know!," I reply). At that distance, the planet would be little more than a point in the sky.
Matt Nelson: Let's not forget those classic Voyager aliens... Janeway And Paris!!!! From the thought-provoking and well-directed heartwrencher "Threshold".
Simon de Vet: Non-Humanoid aliens: Ever notice that nerarly every non humanoid alien ever seen has been composed of light, or glowing? And in addition, all seen aliens are similar to sea creatures (jellyfish, slugs, rays) How odd... Anyhoo...
Derek Moffitt: In regard to the comments on trilithium (ATC 10/24/97), I believe the explosive substance in "Starship Mine" was called "trilithium resin," while the fusion inhibitor in ST7 was just "trilithium." I don't know whether these are supposed to be distinct substances, but it might clear up a bit of the confusion.
Simon de Vet: Like you, I only saw the first episode of the new series "The Visitor" At the end the guy (you know.. the _guy_.) walks away as the family goes in a nother direction. My only, terrified thought was "It's Starman meets The Littlest Hobo", with the guy saving a different group of people each week. Ack! (They were both great shows, though :)
Daniel Tyman: You know, perhaps we here in Philadelphia should do that. We have had our Trek, especially Deep Space Nine, be mistreated for quite a while. There was a time when the second run episodes of DS9 were shown weekdays at 5 PM. That was until the station carrying them moved it to Saturdays, replacing it with the reprehensible "Rikki Lake" show. If that wasn't enough, the episodes were rarely seen. A special was always preempting them. And if not that, then the baseball game would go long and it would not be seen. I can't tell you how many times I rooted for teams I didn't like just so I could see "Way of the Warrior." And that time slot was even too good for DS9. It is now seen sometime late Saturday nights or early Sunday mornings, depending on how you look at it.
And that is just the strip syndication ones. It is bad enough to miss ones I've seen before. But what is going on with our first run episodes of DS9 is horrific. They used to be shown Saturdays at 8 PM. Not a great time slot, but it worked. They would put a TNG episode on at 7, the new DS9 on at 8, Babylon 5 on at 9, that week's Voyager on at 10, and finally an episode of TOS at 11. A great schedule for a sci-fi fan. But now, DS9 episodes are seen Sunday at 8 PM, moved from it's time slot by "Martin." We are now one of the last people in the country to see it. And as a person who records the episodes to keep, I am really messed up. They used to re-air it around 11 PM the next night. The episode was still fresh in my mind, and the time wasn't too inconvenient. Then, it was moved to Tuesdays at 1 PM, the most illogical time of all! Anyone who works or goes to school would miss it, and it was just an odd time for those who don't. Now, it is Saturdays at 11:30 PM, almost a full week after it aired. The worst case of how they treated it though came just a few weeks ago. The episode was kicked out of it's normal time slot by a Philadelphia 76ers(kind of NBA for those who don't know) preseason game. That wasn't the problem, but the preview from the week before made no mention of the special time, like it normally does. I was flipping around at 5:30 that Saturday afternoon, only to discover I had missed half of "Rocks and Shoals."
And the other shows are treated no better. The episode of Voyager they always show in the week after it just aired, was moved from Saturdays at 10 PM, to 10 AM! Episodes of TNG are now on at 10 PM Sundays. And TOS is now found sometime late Sunday or early Monday. These are two separate stations, both mistreating Star Trek in the same city.
Sorry about being so long winded(long wristed?) but this was something I wanted to alert the rest of you all about. Hopefully, enough people will get these stations to come to their senses, and put Star Trek on at good times.
Phil: Unfortunately, it's not about senses, it's about ratings. If DS9 and Voyager had the kind of ratings that NextGen had--or even if DS9 still held it's place as the number one syndicated drama--it would enjoy better treatment. But once the ratings start sagging, the program directors shuttle it off to some out of the way time-slot so they can use the good time slots to make money! I would imagine that the problem is compounded by the fact that DS9 was sold at a high price--whatever that means--to the television stations, riding on the crest of NextGen.
Daniel Tyman: In answer to Todd Felton's question on Rom's wife. This was mentioned in the same episode as the Robert Picardo quote, "Dr Bashir I Presume." If I remember correctly(and I usually do) Quark was trying to convince Rom to forget about Leeta. He was warning him what happened last time he fell in love, how she took all his money and left him with Nog. As my tape was ruined, I cannot go back and check, but I believe they did mention her name.
Walter Czarniecki: I think I have the answer to Todd Felton's question about Nog's mother. She was first mentioned in "Doctor Bashir, I Presume" and her name is Prinadora. The scene takes place in Quark's after Rom failed for the umpteenth time to tell Leeta how he feels about her when she told him of Zimmerman's offer to go to Jupiter Station. Quark reminds Rom of how his first wife and her father cheated him out of all his latinum and says that Leeta is just like her. Rom responds by saying, "Leeta is not Prinadora!"
By the way, in that scene we hear about Vulcan Love Slave:Part Two-the Revenge. If you want to know about the original Vulcan Love Slave, you'll find it described in "Legends of the Ferengi." This is a truly funny book and it provides additional insight into the Ferengi. (It is considered canon because it was written by Ira & Robert and because parts of the book have been used on the show like certain Rules and the existance of Marauder Mo action figures. Also, John Ordover, the Senior Editor of Star Trek over at Pocket declared it canon on their BBS.) Just thought I'd let you know of a new addition to the canon.
Phil: Thanks to Matt Nelson and Dan Wiese for sending this information along as well.
Murray Leeder: I just meant in general, about Dukat. I mean, I still see no real reason why he led the attack on DS9 in the first place. Well I do... vengence... but who would put their faith in a leader willing to risk everything for that?
Phil: Oh sorry! But even still . . . from my viewpoint, DS9 is a crucial piece of property in this war and I don't find it unbelievable that the war would be directed from there.
Marian Perera: Brent Morris brought up the "Cardassian Union" vs. "Cardassian Empire". I think a union is substantially different from an empire - an empire is where everyone gets their orders from one person, the emperor or empress, but an union sounds more democratic. Are these the right definitions? To answer the union/empire question, wouldn't the presence of the Detapa Council make it more of a republic and less of an empire? Of course, now the Cardassians are back to an empire with Dukat at its head. And I know the novels aren't canon, but whenever they go into Cardassian politics, they always have Dukat getting orders from one person, who's the head honcho, as opposed to a memo signed by the entire Detapa Council. Confusing.
Phil: Except . . . empires often use euphemisms. After all the Soviets used to call themselves the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics! And they certainly weren't very democractic! (In fact, it appears that much of the Cardassian judicial system was based on the Soviet judicial system.)
Christopher McElroy: Ignore the blurb. More often than not, the blurbs found in the inside covers of the ST books contain one error or another (one recent DS9 novel had on it's blurb "a group of renegade Klingons loyal to the House of Mogh"--but inside the book, the group couldn't care less what family Worf was from!! And in the book "Ship of the Line" itself, Captain Frasier's ship "U.S.S. Bozeman" is on the run from a Klingon ship, things go wacko and hazy, and next thing Frasier knows, his ship's right on top of the big E! 90 years in 90 seconds!! (In fact, he at first thinks the Enterprise-D came to HIS time!)
Rob Sayer: The book describes the temporal causality loop this way:
Ship A (Frasier) and ship B (Picard) are tooling along. Ship A enters a nebula to evade certain destruction. They detect an unusual energy field, and upon examining, are shot forward in time to where the episode takes place. Ship A never encounters any looping effect. Ship B does.
While that may be how the Captain explains it to Bateson, the book shows him just going straight forward in time to the incedent. Perhaps he went forward in time, THEN encountered the causality loop. But it isn't that clear...
On to the questions . . .
Craig Cicero: Now that we've listed a ton of ST references, can anyone tell me what (if any) Babylon 5 or Mystery Science Theater 3000 parodies or references have been done on various TV shows?
Phil: Couldn't tell ya! X-Files has shown up a number of places . . . including Trek!
Walter Czarniecki: Finally, I was wondering if there's a chance you'll grace us with your Brash Reflections (TM) on the new season of DS9. It doesn't have to be a separate section like Voyager's, but maybe an addition to the Ask The Chief (TM) column. It would be interesting to hear what you think about DS9 so far.
Phil: I've enjoyed the multi-episode arc although I did miss "Rocks and Shoals" and I haven't seen "Sacrifices of Angels" yet. (I taped it last night but I didn't get home from helping with the installation of the sound system at our church's new three million dollar facility until 1 AM! ;-) So, since "Sacrifices of Angels wraps the arc I'll let you know what I thought about the whole thing next week!
Joe Murphy: What does KMYF mean? Is there a page with all the acronyms listed?
Phil: KMYF stand for "Kiss Me You Fool." It's one of many fabulous nitpicking terms that you can find in the Nitpicker's Guild Glossary. (Wink, wink)
Andy Bay: Why don't you have DS9 current nits on-line like Voyager?
Phil: It's just a question of time. I don't have any more to give to the website! We started doing Voyager when I started the website and we've stayed with it!
Gina Torgersen: In the latest episode of DS9--I think it was called "Behind the Lines"--the other Changeling implies that a Changeling can become a cloud. I had always figured a Changeling could never become anything less dense than a liquid. Otherwise if Odo practices for a while Quark won't be able to trust any hazy spots in the atmosphere of his bar!
Phil: Some time ago, we had a thread about Odo's mass and we talked about the possibility of Odo becoming a gas. Can't remember the exact figures but if I recall, he would become a whole lotta gas if he has this option!
Matthew Chiappardi: This is actually a practical question. I live New Jersey, so I get TV stations from about 20 markets :), yet they keep shifting the timeslot and day for DS9 around so I keep missing epsiodes. Could you be kind enough to give me a little plot update (since they're doing a really cool continuity thing) without giving away any moments you would think I'd rather see unfold on screen?
Phil: Unfortunately, I missed the second episode of the arc and I haven't seen the fifth one But here's the gist of it (NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD) In "A Time To Stand," the Federation is getting whipped and Starfleet sends Sisko and company on a run to destroy the White supply factility for the Jem'Hadar. On the way back during "Rocks and Shoal," Sisko and company end up on a planet with a bunch of Jem'Hadar and I didn't see the episode so I don't know what happens. In "Sons and Daughters," Martok has rescued Sisko and company from the planet, Alexander joins the crew of Martoks ship and finally patches things up with Worf. Ziyal joins Dukat on the station. During "Behind the Lines," the female Changeling shows up on the station and Odo does that wild and crazy linking thing with her and appears to become concerned only with Changelings--turning his back on "solids." In "Favor the Bold," Sisko decides to stage an attack and retake DS9. And the great battle happens in "Sacrifices of Angels." I'm assuming that they do retake the station and I've heard something about the Prophets stepping in to lend a hand but I haven't watched the episode yet! ;-)
Wells P. Martin: I have mentioned this before but I have never seen it addressed. In City on the Edge of Forever the Guardian first says "I am my own beginning, my own ending." Later on, Kirk asks "Guardian, can you change the speed at which yesterday passes ?" To which the Guardian replies "I WAS MADE to offer the past in this manner. I cannot change."
Well, if he's his OWN BEGINNING & ENDING, why state "I was made.." ? This implies a maker other than himself. Himself contradictory it would seem...
Also, on another note. Has it been noted before that the voice of Guardian and the voice of Sargon appear to be one in the same ?
Phil: Well, you know how those Guardians are. Always talking in ways that don't make any sense to us little folks. Kind of like quantum mechanics. As far as voices go, those two do sound similar!
Jason Barnes: I overheard a couple of people talking Trek last night and when they started in on trivia, I asked a question that totally stumped them (which made me smile to no end; they still haven't solved it.) Let's see if you know this one. Name the ONLY episode or movie where Scotty calls Kirk "Jim."
By the way, would you recommend the "X-Files" ? I've never
watched it really
Phil: Don't usually do triva questions in this column but I thought I'd include this one because I can remember Scotty doing it but can't recall the episode. Anybody?
Now . . . as far as the X-Files goes . . . I'm always in a bit of a quandry when recommending the show. When it comes to government conspiracy, alien-alien-who's-got-the-alien, there ain't nobody better! And The X-Files has produced some of the absolute finest sci-fi ever on television! I consider shows like "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose," "War of the Coprophages" and "Jose Chung's From Outer Space" some of the greatest televised sci-fi ever penned. Unfortunately, for me at least, The X-Files can get gory--especially, it seemed, at the beginning of the fourth season. (Although, episodes like "The List"--which has a scene with a head in a paint can--have occurred in other seasons as well.) I hoping that this season will back off the gore a little bit and do what I think they do best.
Andy Bay: Does 7 of 9 mean like the 7th item of 9 items or the 7th unit in the 9th
group? Could there be a 47 of 42? Sort of like the first 2 numbers of an IP
address. (The wonderful ST number and the meaning of life.)
Phil: From what I understand, just about anything is possible if you take a quantum view of the universe! ;-)
Briony Coote: Hey Phil, it just occurred to me! If the Ferengi have their females chew
their food for them, how do they manage when they are out in space or
living off Ferengi world where there are no females to chew their food? Do
they replicate chewed food or something?
Phil: No doubt, this is one of the great sacrifices that Ferengi make when they venture into space for fun and profit.
Lisa Shock: I just read the TV Guide article about Dax and Seven, and
they talk a bit about Dax's wedding. They mention Dax having
trouble with her meddling mother-in-law. Well, Georgia Brown,
the actress who played Worf's mom, died June 6, 1992. This
was reported in the obituaries column of Science Fiction Chronicle
in October of 1992. I can't believe they'd get someone else to
just step in and take over the role!
Phil: Not sure exactly what the question was here but I'm assuming it's, "How could they do that?" They're television executives! They have a show to produce. They wanted a mother-in-law scene so they are going to hire an actress! Trek has not been famous for continuity when it comes to acting roles! ;-)
Have a great weekend, everybody!
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Copyright 1997 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.