(Also available from Starland mirror site)
First, some comments from previous columns . . .
Harvey Kitzman: Since you have been mentioning a possible new series with Captain Sulu, is there any way I could E-mail the Powers that Be at Paramount to support this idea?
Phil: Don't know about email but from what I understand postal letters are somewhat regarded (at least they used to be). I once heard Marina Sirtis say that for every one person who writes Paramount believes that there are 1000 more who feel the same way. Of course--if that standard were accurate--I would be a millionaire! I've heard from over 6500 people who love nitpicking. Multiply that by 1000 and you get 6.5 million people who love nitpicking and if they would all buy books . . . ! ;-)
John Latchem: I have a few ideas about a new Trek series.
One is an anthology show, a "Twilight Zone" meets Trek with self sufficient stories each week, but also some recurring story threads. This would probably be too expensive because of the set demands and such.
Another would be a show set in the early days of the Federation. A Daedalus Class Starship and crew exploring familar territory for the first time. First contact with races we all know now, like the Klingons. Oh when the world was new.
Or perhaps a Babylon 5 type five year arc story about the Romulan Wars. It begins with a misunderstood first contact which leads to a war. Earth manages to bring in the Vulcans and a few other allies, such as the Andorians and Tellarites, perhaps, to help them. The war ends with the Battle of Cheron and the defeat of the Romulans, a subspace treaty, and in the last episode, the signing of the Federation Constitution and the formation of the Federation. The gag is the whole time the Romulans are never shown, just their ships. If a five year arc seems too long then perhaps a six hour miniseries could do the subject justice.
From Someone Identified Only As "voy_lcars": I think a great series would be one that directly follows after the events Firct Contact with the Vulcans. It could have a premise of watching the Earth grow to how the Trek universe was just before "The Cage". One season wouldn't have to equal one year, and the show could even skip decades. We could see the Romulan war, first contact with the Klingons and the foundation of Starfleet and the Federation. I don't know if I'm alone in saying this, but don't you think the Producers should hold of on any plans for a new series for a while. The franchise isn't exactly what it used to be and if they let it rest for a while the chances are that when a new series is created it make a big boom. I'm not saying hold off the movies, but just any series. Look what happened when they put Star Trek back on television in '87. But enough of my complaining.
Phil: Holding off on a new series would required the abandonment of one of Hollywood's Foremost Rules: Whip the Goose That Lays The Golden Egg until it flops over and dies a lingering, retching death from exhaustion.
Tom Elmore of Columbia SC: About eight or nine years ago I read in either Starlog or Cinefanstique that Paramont considered two potential Star Trek spin-offs that never made it. The first was "Star Trek: Klingon" which obviously would have been about the series favorite aliens. It would have been a one hour dramatic series, but the cost of make-up made it financialy impractical. From what I have read recently, the idea has not been totally forgotten. the episode on DS9 last year with Worf and Dax serving on a Bird of Prey was perceived by some writers as a possible pilot for such a series.
The second one would have been a thirty minute sitcom with Luxwana Troi as the main character, played of course by Majel Barrett. Again the costs of make and special effects sealed this idea's fate, but I also suspect that Roddenberry's death probably didn't help it's chances either.
George Takai has been lobbying for almost a decade for a series based on capt. Sulu with Chekov as first officer. But it's chances appear slim at best.
Include both me and my wife in favor of a James Bond nit guide. I would also suggest that you also consider some other baby boomer shows such as The Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres and the three series involving the Brady Bunch (TOS, the variety show and "The Brady Brides"-I'm not including the cartoon "The Brady Kids.") I'm sure all would provide a rich vein to write about.
Phil: Let's see, I think we're somewhere around ten people on record that they would buy a Bond Guide. Only 19,990 to go! ;-)
John Myers: I have the feeling they may decide to get back to basics. Star Trek: Next Generation : Phase 2.
Depend very much on which actors they could get. Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner - definitely out. If Jonathan Frakes is available then OK, Captain Riker. Better if LeVar Burton was willing to serve as First Officer as well. If either or both of these are unavailable due to their directing careers taking off then forget it - Dead Duck idea.
Of course since the rumour is that Terry Farrel is having doubts even about the next season of DS9 we could no longer have Jadzia Dax "replace" Data and Worf return to Enterprise tactical (hey they are a matched pair, cannot split them).
It will be interesting seeing how they will deal with it, if they will have the new Dax serve on DS9, how Worf would react, and if the new Dax would do as Jadzia Dax nearly did and throw tradition to the wind by reassociating with Worf (and if Worf would accept this).
My problem is that I don't know what the TNG actors are doing since I don't see US domestic TV, so I don't know who would be willing to return.
Ryan Whitney of Evanston, IL: What do you think about an anthology Star Trek series, in which the stories take place in the present and the past? It would give the creators an opportunity to explore great stories that wouldn't work in the context of an ongoing series with a fixed cast. It would also give the creators an opportunity to flesh out the backgrounds of main and recurring characters (past and present), as well as an opportunity to expand on the history of the Star Trek universe (eg. critical events). What are your thoughts?
Phil: I think it would be expensive! Here's my two cents. No matter what comes next. It will all come down to the writing. There's no question that Paramount has high production ability. The Art Department does a fabulous job. There are plenty of competant actors out there. And I can believe there are still plenty of Trek fans out there who are waiting for a show that they can really be enthusiastic about. (Sort of . . . the fan world seems to be changing and I'm not really sure how it is changing yet but . . . it's different. It's not just the shows. There is some kind of fundamental shift going on. A new kind of approach from the fan base. More to come!)
What's been missing in DS9 and Voyager is "the catch". That nebulous thing that fires people's imagination on a grand scale like the X-Files has done. Maybe lightning stuck twice for Trek and that's more than anybody should expect?!
Mike Cheyne: A MAN RESEMBLING SEAN CONNERY: I am Sean Connery. The Nitpicker's Guide for, for . . .
A MAN RESEMBLING GEORGE LAZENBY: 007ers.
A MAN RESEMBLING ROGER MOORE: 007ers!!! What kind of idiocy is this? It should be 007philes.
A MAN RESEMBLING PIERCE BROSNAN: You guys are morons. It's 007 fans.
SEAN: Shut up, new guy.
GEORGE: Well, anyway this 007 Guide will work. It sounds hip and far out.
ROGER: Oh, shut up, George. You only made one movie.
A MAN RESEMBLING TIMOTHY DALTON: This is my only line. (trademark Monty Python)
ALL: Oh, shut up!!!!
You see, Phil? Even Bond likes this idea of a Bond guide! And just to add some bootlicking, I really liked your Nitpicker's Guide for X-Philes. You know, some people have "nitpicking guides", but come on! It's just bloopers!!!! True nitpicking is filled with
ROGER: humour.
Phil: Thanks for the kind words about the work!
Shane Tourtellotte: Let me chime in and say that the Bond series is ripe for your kind of treatment. Eighteen movies might not be enough for a book, though. You'd probably have to make it a general movie series book. All together now: Nine down,...
Phil: Actually, eleven down . . . (See above.)
Brian Lombard: Regarding the comment about Patrick Stewart's memory of a grain of rice, I was fortunate enough to attend a luncheon last month where Stewart was the guest speaker. During his lecture, he couldn't remember the name of the character played by Denise Crosby. We the audience, yelled in unison "Tasha Yar". And this was a woman he worked with for almost a year.
Phil: This is fairly typical. The actors rush in, say their lines and rush out. Several years ago, Denise Crosby did some of the reading for the audio version of the NextGen Guide. I was on the phone with a producer because Denise was having some difficulty pronouncing some of the words. The producer asked how to pronounce a certain name and I was completely lost so I had her spell it. It was "K'Ehleyr" and Denise seemed to have never even heard of the character! (Because she had left the show before K'Ehleyr appeared and she probably didn't even watch NextGen. ;-)
Phil: Rats! I could have sworn that somebody sent me some comments on this topic this week but I must have misfiled them because I can't find them. Sorry, sorry, sorry. If you did send comments, could you send again? [grovelling]
Robert or John Bibb: James Meader asked why most battles occoured at impulse. It's probably because it is inefective. Imagine you are chaseing a ship at warp 5 (we of course follow the Federation speed limit since we haven't gotten authorization :-) ). The ship your chasing could just drop out of warp, and you'd overshoot it. Then, when you backtracked, it might be long gone in another direction.
Why chasing? It would be extremely difficuly to do anything but. Most evasive manuvers can only work at lower speeds, mainly because of the size of the ships in question.
For the record, the Enterprise-D DID have a battle against the Borg Cube at high warp in "Q Who". It was a chase, and the borg were catching up quick.
Ben Maniwatana of Bangkok, Thailand: Battles don't take place at warp (at least in the Star Trek universe) because phasers don't work at warp. Only torpedoes do.
Also, it's very expensive to shoot battles, let alone shoot a ship during warp. The creators try to avoid it whenever possible.
Phil: I didn't comment on this last week because I was blitzed. Gina asked if there might be such a thing as anti-space, given that matter and anti-matter can both exist in our universe. The only thing I would add is that there might be some kind of anti-dimensional thing that might constitute anti-space but I would have no idea what it would entail! ;-)
Scott McClenney: In reply to Adam Howarter's question about the thermos on Voyager: It was in the episode Revulsion. It was seen first in the scene where Tom talks to Harry about Seven. Tom is seen pouring a cup of coffee and taking a sip as he talks. Tom must have forgot about it when he left the doctor's office.
Murray Leeder: Chakotay did NOT come from Dorvan V. This is established in "Tatoo" when it is established that his colony was founded twenty years ago (twenty years before the flashback timeframe, if I remember correctly), and not the centuries of Dorvan V.
This is especially perplexing considering the fact that the creators supposedly produced Dorvan V with Chakotay in mind! So... there are, it seems, two or more Native colonies out by the DMZ.
Also, it's possible that the cousins that K'Mtar mentions are not first cousins, but rather extended cousins, such as Mogh's (or his wife's) siblings' children and their children... cousin really is a broad term.
Clay: In his question about whether Klingon's have 2 hearts I have the answer. Dr. Crusher and Dr. Toby Russell in discussing the genetronic replication of Worf's spine in TNGs "Ethics" say that the Klingon body has several redundancies like an 8 CHAMBERED HEART, among other things.
Phil: Thanks to Joel Croteau for sending this information along as well.
Gareth Wilson of Christchurch, New Zealand: (In response to Harvey Kitzman's comment) Ribosciatic flux is obviously a made-up word, perhaps from "ribose", a sugar, and "sciatica", which I think was a old name for lower back pain. It kind of bothers me when the creators invent made-up biological words for human conditions. We know enough about the human body that "ribosciatic" will never make any sense.
On to the questions . . .
Harvey Kitzman: Is there going to be another DS9 Guide since the current one only goes through Season 4.
Phil: We're watching the ratings!
Christopher Pope: I distinctly remember watching either DS9 or Voyager a while back and hearing someone make a disparaging comment about Earl Grey tea. He (and it was a he) says something like, "I really must have a talk with this fellow Earl Grey" about how to make a decent cup of tea. I think it was a guest star, and I'm pretty sure he used the word fellow. My first guess was Enabran Tain in "The Wire," but that's not it. Does anyone know which episode contains this line?
Phil: Sounds familiar but I can't place it! Anybody?
Nick Preston: Ever considered working your magic on two more of the greatest sci-fi shows ever, QUANTUM LEAP or HIGHLANDER? QL has a modest fan base (and a plethora of inconsistencies), but HL is an international success. You'd have a field day with the HL films, but don't let those awful sequels dissuade you -- the meat of this lore is the brilliant syndicated television series.
Phil: There really is only one determining factor in which Guide will get written next (as long as we stay with Dell), and that is: What does Dell like? The people at Dell liked the X-Files, so . . . the X-Phile Guide got made. This is pretty much the way it is in the publishing business.
Danny Wiese: This is really a statement. In the next gen guide volume 1, for the episode "Cause and Effect" you said that you would like them to tie up some loose ends about Captain Morgan Bateson, well they have, in the book "Ship of the line" by Diane Carey.
Phil: Unfortuantely, we're talking about two different "they"s! ;-) When I say "they," I mean Paramount, not Pocket Books. (Now, if Paramount would agree that the novels really have happened in the Trek universe . . .)
Jeff Czerniak: While surfing along the web, I found one of the many thousands of pages devoted to South Park. This one, however, has an interesting quirk: it lists nits that pop up during each show (like birthday cakes suddenly disappearing). Perhaps they were influenced by the Nitpickers' Guild?
Phil: Well, I certainly can't take credit for starting "nitpicking." But . . . I do believe I've given it a boost of energy when it comes to picking at television shows! ;-)
Marti Rogers of Alaska: Something has puzzled me for a long time, concerning the hologram Doctor on Voyager. How does it work that sometines things (hands, objects, weapons etc.) pass right through him, but at other times he can touch, hold hands, be touched by the holographic "thing" that lets him move around the ship.
Phil: In one of the early episodes for Voyager, holo-doc explained to Paris that he could change his constitution to make himself either permeable or non-permeable.
Amber Heinzel: Ok, here is a tough one. I remember hearing a song about 2 years ago that
had a line in it that said something like, "Jean-Luc Picard and the United
Federation of Planets"
Phil: Take it away, Guild members! I have no idea. ;-)
Darren Bennett, Brisbane, Australia: This is more of an observation really, but it might require confirmation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but we've been assuming that the turbolift
doors on the Enterprise D have been single, and this has been an error
on the part of the creators. Well, I was watching "Frame of Mind", and
at the end of the teaser, when the turbolift doors close on Riker, I
single frame stepped through the video, and it seens as if there are two
layers of doors. The inner layer closes, blocking out the light from
within, and the outer layer seems to still be closing as the scene fades
to black. This continued movement seems to indicate that I'm not seeing
door decoration.
If this can be confirmed, it might mean a subtle re-evaluation of the
whole turbolift door scenario. Of course, it still won't explain where
the inner doors on the turbolifts on DS9 suddenly came from.
Phil: Sad to say, I am quickly running out of time this morning and I have not confirmed this but I believe that there was also a place in Classic Trek where the director made the extra effort to show two sets of turbolift doors! (No doubt, he was run out of town afterward. ;-)
Ben Maniwatana of Bangkok, Thailand: I was wondering: what's your next Nitpicker's Guide project?
Phil: My first concern at this point is finishing my second novel That Fated Shore and finding a publisher for both it and my first novel The Son, The Wind and The Reign. I'll worry about which Guide to do later!
Clay: In ST 3 I believe it talks about how Dr. David Marcus used protomatter in the
creation of the Genesis Device. My question is, has it ever been established
where you get protomatter from?
Phil: I believe the most difficult part of the process is capturing a sufficient quantity of adult protos and convincing them to roost. After that it's a simple matter of acquiring the proper feed, saturating them with loud Klingon operas and harvesting the proto-eggs that they produce. (Just a little joke.)
Rob van Hulst: This week I have a few questions, that arose after reading the 'new'
Star Trek encyclopedia.
First, the entry about Cochrane has a photo of his statue, as described
by Geordi in ST:FC. I cannot remember seeing a statue in the film
however, but it is a statue of the 'new' Cochrane, ie James Cromwell,
with silly cap and all. Where do you think it comes from?
Second, the Romulan greeting 'jolan true'. The Okudas write that it
problably translates as 'have a nice day'. That's very nice, but why
don't we HEAR 'have a nice day' in Unification I and II. Isn't the
Universal Translator supposed to translate everything?
Third, and this one is not about the Encyclopedia. Do you, or another
Guild member know if there are 'blooper' tapes available with material
from Star Trek?
Phil: 1.) The Art Department probably created the statue as a joke. 2.) There be mysteries with the Universal Translator. 3.) The only blooper tape I have ever seen deals with Classic Trek and was very poor quality.
Chris Cook: I don't know if anyone has spotted this yet, but there's a bit of an embarrassing nit in the
new edition of the Encyclopedia. Page 438, a continuation of the entry for 'SETI greeting'
from the page before, features a nice rendition of the Pioneer plaque. At the bottom, where
it shows the solar system and the probe's course out of it, it looks very much like Pioneer
was launched from Venus.
Is it a mistake, or a cunning plot so that, when hostile aliens intercept Pioneer, they'll
blow up the wrong planet? NASA doesn't really launch probes from Venus, do they? Who signs
off on the expense accounts?
By the way, there's a graphic in the TNG: The Continuing Mission book that shows the
Federations proposal for the Barzan wormhole negotiations (TNG 'The Price'). There are a
whole load of references to 'credits' as currency.
Phil: Interesting!
Philip McGachey of Scotland: After watching 'Starship Troopers' a friend posed an interesting question - Have there been any 'good' aliens in any Sci-fi series or movies with green blood (except of course for the Vulcans). I was stuck. Anyone?
Phil: Well, there's the Green Orion Slave Girl but I'm not sure that's what you meant when you used the term, "good."
Rene Charbonneau: Yesterday on "Space : The Imagination station", they aired this old Star
Trek special that must have been made in 1983 (between Trek 2 and 3),
which is hosted by Leonard Nimoy. Anyway, near the end, he discusses the
success of Trek 2 and the "upcoming movie", Trek 3.
When discussing Trek 2, Leonard claims, "Both the studio and Gene
[Roddenberry] agreed to bring in a new producer [for Trek 2, Harve
Benett]". When I heard that, I laughed. Why? Because in William
Shatner's "Star Trek Movie Memories", he claims that the studio
basically kicked Gene out of the driver's seat and brought in Harve
Benett to replace him.
Also, Nimoy said, "Gene continues to serve as Executive Consultant on
[Trek 3]". When he said that, I said to myself "Yup...and Worf is
Strategic Operations Officer of DS9". In other words, both have
impressives titles that mean nothing.
But, there is something that doesn't add up, in my opinion. If William
Shatner's account of Roddenberry's lost of power on the Trek films is
true, why was Gene given full control of in the early years of Next
Generation? If the studio didn't trust him in the Trek feature film
department, why would they trust him in the Next Generation production?
Phil: You have to remember how Hollywood works. Movies are not the same as television. Roddenberry was indespensible to the creation of NextGen--just on the basis of his name, alone. As proof, I offer Gene Roddenberry's Earth: The Final Conflict. My understanding is that this new television series was presold to 80% of the television markets in the United States just because Roddenberry's name was associated with the project. Television stations have to fill programming slots. They pay good money to fill those slots. (Unless they are airing info-mercials but you can't air info-mercials 24 hours a day!) The programming directors at the stations are going to buy what they feel has some chance for success and they know that there are Trekkies out there and they know that at the very least, the Trekkies will tune in to give the show a chance. If Roddenberry hadn't been associated with NextGen in the beginning, it would have been dead before it started. (You will note, however, how quickly the Powers-That-Be relegated him off to a figurehead role.)
Chris David: Does Ben Sisko have a middle name or initial? If so
cna you tell me what it is please.??
Phil: If I recall, it's "Lafayette." I think we heard it in "Paradise Lost."
Joe McLaughlin Jr. of Medway, MA: In your list of books that we could use to justify certain points, does this include CD-ROMS like Star Trek Omnipedia or the Encyclopedia on CD-ROM, or finally, the Interactive Technical Manual? Thanks.
Phil: It's not actually "my" list, it's whatever Paramount says is canonical and I would guess that the CD-ROMs are canonical!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
If you would like to submit a question or comment, send it to: chief@nitcentral.com with "Question" in the Subject line. (Remember the legalese:
Everything you submit becomes mine and you grant me the right to use your
name in any future publication by me.)
Copyright 1998 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.