Okay . . . here's the deal. Seventeen years ago I wrote the music for a play. Six months ago, the head of the drama department for a local college decided to restage the play at our church's news facility. Of course, everyone looked at me because all that remained of the music was the "chicken-scratched" score I had done seventeen years ago. I initially told them that it would be impossible for me to help because I was up to my eyeballs in the Star Wars Nitpicker's Guide. Well . . . not doing that anymore! ;-) So, the play is in two weeks and I am swamped! I almost didn't do this column today but I had said that I would so this is going to be fast and furious. Please don't interprete my short responses as brusque. I simply have to get this done so I can get back to the music! First, some comments from previous columns . . .
Television Series Cross-Overs
Beginning with Omer Belsky's comments in the 3/20/98 column
John Latchem: After seeing the question about putting the Simpsons and the X-Files in the same fictional universe I have to speak up.
Within the X-Files universe, the Simpsons is a TV show. It is an extention of OUR universe.
Within the Simpsons universe, the X-Files do exist. But the Simpsons universe is not an extention of our universe. It contains cartoon physics. People with four fingered hands and yellow skin (which they constantly refer to. Someone calling Bart "Yellow Trash." Homer: "As long as he has four toes and four fingers." Homer referring to the impossibility of being in two places at once and then walking past the window thus being in two places at once).
But now, here's the ultimate consideration, courtesy of the Comic Book Industry.
Comic Book history is Generally divided into three distinct eras. The Golden Age (1930s-1940s), the Silver Age (1950s-1960s), and the Modern Age (1970s to Present). Each era has its own set of heroes which have origins distinct to that era. Thus the Modern Age Superman did not experience any of his Golden Age counterpart's adventures. This distinction has led to some interesting stories over the years (most notably "Crisis on Infinite Earths."), but I will always distinctly remember a story I read when I was younger that pretty much sums up the whole Alternate Universe Crossover idea as it applies to fiction. It is a Silver Age story about the Flash. Now, the Silver Age Flash read about the Golden Age Flash in Comic Books. In other words, to the Silver Age, the Golden Age was fiction, just as it was to us. But the story was a crossover between the Golden Age and Silver Age Flashes. Flash went to the Golden Age dimension, which was different than his. The year was the same, and he found the Golden Age Flash, who was 20 years older, and retired. But he knew everything about the man, including his secret identity, because he had read the comics. The rationalization behind this? Simple. As Silver Age Flash explained, the author of the Flash Comics (who also happened to write this story and referenced himself) must have subconciously tuned his imagination into the Golden Age world. Thus, what he was writing about was actually real.
So there you have it. The means for any crossover to occur. Matt Groening is not making the Simpsons up, he is merely tuning into the Simpson's dimension (as are all the writers on the show, and the animators. I imagine this imagination tuning can be spread to others. . .the frequency fine-tuned). This is as true for the Matt Groening of our universe as it is for the MG of the X-Files Universe. Thus, the ability for an X-Files character to watch an episode of "The Simpsons." Now, if Mulder were watching the X-Files episode of the Simpsons, that would certainly raise his eyebrow!
Remember when Dan Quayle made the remarks about the TV show Murphy Brown? Within the TV universe of MB, those comments were used, and interpreted to mean that Quayle was referring to her as a person, not as a TV show Character.
So, is the assumption that the X-Files episode of the Simpsons does not exist within the X-Files universe? Or is the assumption that the Simpsons creators within the X-Files universe read about the X-Files and made fun of them on the show?
Like temporal mechanics, thinking about such issues of metaphysical fictional existance can really give you a headache.
But, along these lines, you can have characters consider something a TV show in one universe, yet still cross over with that same TV show in another.
Confused yet?
The Flash Crossover Story I mentioned was called "The Flash of Two Worlds," written by Gardner Fox and originally published in FLASH #123, September 1961. Gardner Fox later went on to write more such crossovers involving the pantheon of the DC Heroes interacting with their former selves. At this point the current Earth became known as "Earth 1" and the Golden Age Earth became known as "Earth 2." These stories became a cornerstone of (and problem for) the DC universe until the 1980s when the "Crisis" storyline attempted to unify the various universes that had been created into a single timeline.
Some of these stories were reprinted in the Trade Paperback "The Greatest Team-Up Stories Ever Told" published in 1990 by DC Comics. This is where I first read it.
I found it very interesting in the situation Gardner Fox presented. He made himself a character within his Flash's universe, as the writer of the Golden Age Flash, which he was in our universe as well. The implication is that, in OUR universe, the Silver Age Flash exists in another universe that Fox is tuned in to. I think this was the first time I actually became interested in such metaphysical concepts of fiction and reality.
John Myers: Re: SS Birdseye. I thought it was named after the Frozen food company since the SS Birdseye was a freezer ship.
Paul Orrison: Charles Cabe States (referrring to Crossovers in TV series): "But two TNG ships, the SS Birdseye (From the "Neutral Zone") and the Yamato, have the same names as charaters on MASH. (Birdseye is the name of boss of the 4077..."
Two problems here: First, the name of the character is HAWKEYE, not Birdseye...(Hawkeye, by the way, is a nickname for Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce). Second, Hawkeye's NOT the boss... he's the Chief Surgeon (aka the best of the bunch), but he's not in command of the unit. He may seem to run it, but Lt Col Henry Blake runs it in the first part of the show, then Colonel Sherman T. Potter takes over.
Hans Cumming: This is in response to some comments I read in the current column about M*A*S*H and Star Trek. There actually IS a connection between the two. In the original M*A*S*H movie, with Tom Skerrit and Donald Sutherland, the unit dentist (The Painless Pole aka Walt Waldowski aka The Best Equipped Dentist in the Army) was played by John Shuck known to Trekkers as the Klingon Ambassador from Star Treks IV and VI. Perhaps he was studying the Terrans so that he could be a better ambassador :)
Bullies on the Playground and the End of the Nitpicker's Guides
Beginning with Phil Farrand's comments at the end of the 5/15/98 column
Note from Phil: The July issue of the newsletter went out this week, so many other nitpickers have responded! Unfortunately, I have no time to respond to them individually so just let me say once again that I do appreciate all the kind words and I thank you for them. I'm glad you've enjoyed the work.
David D. Porter: Phil, have you considered direct sales of your manuscripts, if you can't find a big publisher? I'm sure I'm not the only Guild member who'd be willing to pay a few bucks (10-15?) for a computer-printer version of your novel. I know it wouldn't *in and of itself* come close to making a return on your creative investment, but if you had a bunch of satisfied readers telling other people (or even publishers) how much they liked it, who knows?
Christopher Griffiths: I was disappointed to hear from your newsletter that you will no longer be 'nitpicking' in book form. This is a rather sad announcement, one that actually surprised me. I kind of wished that I'd thought of the nitpicker's guide (as I'm sure many others did also), and thought that you'd have a secure income from them. I will miss the hours of amusing reading I had in the bathroom, laughing at some nits and bloopers. (I'm sure my parents wondered how I could be enjoying myself in there!).
Adam Bailey: Very sorry to hear this. Good luck with your new efforts. I'll miss your books.
Michael R. Gates: My son, Jeff, and I just want to let you know how sorry we felt when we read the sad news. We have been loyal fans of your Nitpicker's Guides from the beginning, and we are grateful for the thought-provoking laughs that you have provided us over the past several years. Thanks to you, our nitpicking skills are sharper than ever.
Jonathan Jarry: Well, all I can say is I am sorry for you. I've been starting to hate Paramount ever since they started shutting down ST fan websites. I mean, they must be the stupidiest guys on Earth, shutting down sites that recognize that the Star Trek material on their pages is copyright of Paramount and all. These websites even provided PUBLICITY for Paramount, and they are shutting them. That is really what I call being dumb. And now this.... Well, I can say that I really enjoyed reading the Nitpicker's Guides and the biannual (not sure of the "biannual") newsletter. I was hoping for a Voyager Guide (even though I hate the series) and eventually something for First Contact since there are so many nits there, but I guess it'll never happen. That's capitalism: the good of the many outweights the good of the one. If Paramount wants to shoot itself in the foot, then so be it ! One day or another, Star Trek will to go down... and they will not be able to do anything to prevent it.
Good luck with your carreer, your life, and all ! I hope you can live happily for the rest of your days ! Live long and prosper
Mandy Gordon: I'm sorry to hear about your publishing problems. As for talent or no talent leading to success, you're not alone. I'm trying to break into the film industry as a film crew member (camera assistant). I am having zero luck, not because I don't know how to do the job, but because I don't know anyone in this industry. Doesn't matter what you know, only who you know. Like you, I'm now looking for another career field (I'll go back to aviation where I came from).
Steven Jackson: I have just finished reading the "Bad News". It is bad news. I have appreciated your efforts and enjoyed your writing skills for some time now. I will miss the exposure to your forum where people with interests the same as my own have the opportunity to contribute their ideas and critiques. Your publications have been informative, enlightening and entertaining.
It was fun while it lasted, and I am happy that you are comfortable with the decision to end it. Sometimes nitpicking taken to absurd legal levels results in forced situations such as this. I feel that you have not harmed, but enhanced the value of the subjects that you (and the other nitpickers out there) have written about.
Live long and prosper.
Leeann C Walker: I understand, your family must come first, but how sad for all of us. This is a great loss to the world of Trekkerdom, Star Warsdom, Philedom... geez, it's a loss to EVERYONE! Well I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Hope everything works out.
Reni: I just wanted to say I read the bad news, and I am really bummed. I am a HUGE star trek fan and I love your nitpicking books (I have to be honest, I haven't really looked at the other ones that weren't to do with Star Trek) What you do only INCREASES interest, and encourages people to buy the videos for replay after replay. Personally, if I were at Paramount I'd be offering you an official job of it as part of promotion... unfortunately I'm just a nobody who really loves your books. Anyways, I completely understand how you feel, and I wish you the best of luck on your future. And like you said, publishing 5 books is no small achievement, its something you will always have. In friendship and nitpicking,
Tracey Rennie: I just wanted to say sorry about your book writing. I know I for one will miss all the nitpicks. Let me just get this straight though, does that mean that there will be no more unauthorized or unofficial books anymore? *sorry maybe I missed that* Anyway I hope you can find a new career for yourself.
Bob and Josh Bowen: Bummer, dude. My son Joshua and I will miss the guides. Who knows, things could change a few years down the line.
Chris_James Macklin: I would like to express my heartfelt regret that you will not be able to publish any more guides for Nitpickers. Personally, while I understand the rationale, I think it is crummy that books as well-written, amusing, and insightful as yours are being squelched under the threat of lawsuits from above. I suppose I'll treasure the guide for X-philes even more, now that I know sequels in similar veins will not be forthcoming. However, I do plan to support your writing career wholeheartedly when your first book is released. In the meanwhile, I wish you all the best!
David S. Mueller: Re: The end of the guides. Look at it this way. Lawyers are like the Borg: Resistance is futile. Better to avoid a confrontation. It's good to know you're keeping up the web site.
Frank Bailey: A door closes, a door opens...
Thanks Phil, for sharing your vision with us, and opening up a whole new sector of Trekdom, even if it can only be explored unofficially. I'm sorry we won't be seeing any more NP Guides, they really were quite good, and I've enjoyed them immensely. How sad that our increasingly corporatized culture actively seeks out and crushes anything that doesn't fit the big guys' business plans. But I think you will be back, if not in the guise of Chief Nitpicker, then in that of Successful Writer. You've got the skill and the drive, and I will certainly be buying your next book (and the second TNG guide when I can afford to have it mailed to me in Japan). Don't give up the dream for a cubicle except temporarily. (Learn COBOL and Assembly Language and rake it in during the Y2k bonanza. That should give you enough Biosurvival Credits to hold off the creditors. And then you can brag to your grandchildren that you saved the Earth from the fate of the Binars..) Hope the site can continue for a while, but you've got to keep the replicators online, so to speak. We'll understand.
Matt Warner: Sorry to hear your publisher has gotten skittish over the Nitpicker's Guides. Here's hoping that the ones already in print keep selling, and that there will be a demand for reprints. (Speaking of which, does your contract with them permit you to reprint it with another publisher? After all, original copyright ownership lies with the author.)
I did wonder if your message meant you no longer consider yourself a writer. . . . No matter what happens, I hope you'll agree with me that being a writer is a state of identity, and not of career. For instance, although I work by day in retail leasing, I consider myself a writer. I occasionally get stuff published but frequency or success doesn't matter. It's a part of who I am and a part of my day, like brushing my teeth.
Michael Dorosh: No sooner do I become a member of the Guild, then this happens! I hope you will find the time (rather, I'm sure WE all hope this) to continue the web site, at any rate.
I too am a published author; I had the first volume of a multi-volume series of books on WWII uniforms published in 1996; I am currently working on follow up volumes. The book was written in my spare time, and I think we both know how rewarding writing can be; not financially (not for me!) necessarily, but in gaining contact with people of similar interests. My book only had a run of 2000 copies, to date 1300 have sold. But I am still in awe that a little 130 page nonfiction title could draw so much positive attention! I have received mail from literally around the world. It really is a good feeling, as you well know. The point is, you needn't be so glum necessarily. Obviously, you would prefer to be paid for writing (and I'm not so sure you couldn't, still). I too have dabbled in fiction, and even sent a 300 page manuscript to an agent in the States, who rather liked it. That fiction had been written in my spare time as well. I wasn't happy with the historical accuracy of the work, and am retooling it now (actually rewriting from scratch). I hope to have it finished in the next year (make that, it WILL be finished in the next year.) Things may seem bleak for you now, but don't ever stop writing. You will be sorry. Keep your notes on Star Wars Nitpickers Guide. Perhaps the next poor bastard to get sued will actually win, and the whole situation will change (wishful thinking...)! I was in a similar situation as you, with my first novel I just mentioned. It had been about the German Army in WWII, and I had sent it to an acquaintance in the States who had been an expert on that subject. He savaged the script, and so I sent him a letter saying, in effect, you're right, what was I thinking, I can't possibly research that era properly, I should just go to writing a Canadian story, etc. He wrote back to savage me yet again (bless him). You sound like I did in that letter. "I'm really okay with this" etc. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, not us. My acquaintance in the States told me not to give up, and that I would feel pretty poorly about just abandoning several years of work. I think he was right. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you really believe what you are saying, than you know what to do. If you are really against a brick wall, and are convinced no one will ever publish your stuff, then so be it. But if you are really just trying to convince yourself to take the easy way out, my suggestion is to be truer to yourself. You are extremely talented (and being that way myself, I don't say that to just anybody! ;-) !!) and it would be a waste for such an entertaining series of books to be abandoned. In any event, I wish you luck (I can't imagine this decision was reached by you lightly, and please don't be insulted by my tone, I am certainly in no position to talk down to you, even if I wanted to).
Good luck, sir, and may fortune favour you and your endeavors. I look forward to reading THE SON THE WIND AND THE REIGN, as well as THAT FATED SHORE (and maybe someday STAR WARS NITPICKERS GUIDE????) once they are in print.
Brian:Read the Newsletter. So you're NOT going to look for another publisher? I'd better tell my mom. I've had her looking. Well, don't give up on the Star Wars guide yet. If push comes to shove, do what I did with the Mad About You guide. I'm also working on a net guide for the Scream Trilogy (of course Scream 3 will have to come out first, but I shouldn't have to wait too long). So if you have any good nits for the Scream movies send 'em my way. That's assuming you've seen them of course. I heard a rumor about a B5 guide. Go to Warner Brothers. They are nothing like Paramount. If you've been to Official WB sites, they actually contain links to UNofficial sites. And besides, I think JMS would love to see a guide based on his show. He might even help. If the creator isn't a canonical source what is?
Lori Schiele: A quick thanks for the Newletter. As usual, it was great reading! Also wanted to take a minute to say I am shocked and dismayed that they have shut down your books! But, I guess, not everything in life is fair. I just wanted to say I send my sympathy and my apologies for the end of an authorship. I also wish you luck in your novels, should you continue with them. Are you still going to be collecting Nitpicks for shows? Are you still going to be sending out the newsletters? I would definitely be interested to know.
Danielle Stuewe: Dear Sir, The margins for profit are slimmer in independent publishing but I'm sure that one of them would be happy to publish. A lot of the smaller ones enjoy exercising their free speech rights. I would try them before giving up on your writing. I say this because I enjoy your books and would love to see more. (At the very least, you could write it, pay a printer to print you one copy and send it to me!!!! I'll pay shipping and printing and a nice Vegas tip!!!!)
Debbie Brookman: I just bought the X-F nitpicker's guide, and my brother, Jeff, has been on you list for ever (He's a ST fan and an X-F fan)
Thanks ever so much! Jeff told me that you won't be doing any Guides anymore. That is truely a shame. It is *very* entertaining, and I leave my guide on the coffee table and read up on the episode before I watch it! My Brother has all the ST guides, too, and has submitted quite a few nits, I hear.
I don't know how these things work, but maybe you could get permission to do your guides? It's not like you are trashing them or anything. I would be flattered that someone would spend so much time analysing my show!
Anyway, I thank you for hours of entertainment, and look forward to receiving your newsletter.
Mark Luta: Sorry to hear about the end of the published nitpickers' guides. Something to keep in mind for the future is that it should soon be possible to legitimately go overseas to a foreign publishing house and have a book published and sold worldwide, while still being in line with international copyright law. The international copyright standards are still being hashed out by negotiaters and the WTO, but soon overseas publishers will all follow international law, and broadly written decisions by renegade US courts will have no effect on them.
Sharon Henry: Thanks for all the fun! Sorry to see you go.
Dan Riley: SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!! Wev'e enjoyed your work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just look at your mailing list! you hang in there,,,,,there are other ways to continue your battle. good luck to you.
Michael Shoffner: What about a nonfiction work on how the large IP owners in this country are getting "out of hand" with their attempts to restrict fair use and public domain use?
Too depressing I guess.
I understand why these famous mark holders sweep the field ocassionally, but books like yours don't dilute their marks, and they aren't rehashes of copyrighted material. They add value to marks by increasing their mindshare. IMO, of course. And of course this is neither here nor there in your case, with the risk factor to the publisher and whatnot.
I just hate to see an idea this good hit the wall. Any chance you can get official with Paramount? You have the goods in hand, and a proven track record with the books. Of course whatever deal they set up would be a bit of a rape - but on the other hand maybe they could help set up some big distribution and it would be better than nothing, seemingly...
jessica pitingolo: when i read your x-philes guide, i fell in love with your writeing. just the way you stated things. it was fun. when i read you're not writing any new books, i nearly [messed] my pants! i'm crushed, literally. i know it's not your fault or anything, but i wanted you to know how much i love your writing style.
Yoko Ema: I did read your unfortunate news!! :( I really am sorry to hear that you will not have any more Nits books. Generally we fans are just trying to have fun. I wish they let us have fun as long as it's legal. I really think it's actually a good thing for Paramount or whoever that have copy rights. These fan activities keep us stay in "Star Trek" World or whatever!
Does this mean you will not take any more nits from us?? I have some on X-Files movie and of course, was going to be ready for the next "Star Trek" movie. I also saw "Armageddon" and some stuff sure was way off. (Have you seen the movie?)
I read pretty many TNG stories that were written by fans. Are they going to kill all those things too?? They even post stories on Zine web site. Are they illegal?? I really don't know. You see, sometimes it's more interesting to read fan written stories, because they can write things we wanted to see, but never happened on TV. Also what will happen to all "unofficial" fan clubs?????? (Come to think of that, is WUFP illegal too??????)
I didn't know you were writing stories! (I am sorry, I wasn't visiting your site too much.) It's exciting. I hope your regular (????) books will be published. What sort of stories are they? "Hitchhike guide" kind of stuff???
Whatever you will do next, I wish you and your family the best of luck. It has been a lot of fun being with the club. I do hope the fun will continue!!
Nesssus: I was upset to hear about your retirement from writing in the latest Nit Pickers newsletter.
You can't give up the cause, not now after all this time. You're books have been a source of amusement to many people including myself and I'm sure that you're painstakingly detailed reviews of the nits sent many readers out to purchase a full set of trek videos to freeze frame and find the bugs and nits in the highest quality possibly. You are helping Paramount's sales, not harming them.
Infocom's crack down of the latest unauthorised trek novel is like them trying to close the barn door after the horse has bolted. There are so many trek books out there now that them suing someone now is silly.
You released the X Files guide with no comeback from Fox, who are notoriously over-protective when it comes to their franchises (remember all the X Files and Millenium sites they closed on the internet a while back?).
You and your publisher are right though to be cautious about using the Star Wars franchise. My advice, ask first! They can only say no to authorising the book and Lucas and or his publishers do seem to have a sense of humor and might enjoy a little fun poked in there way!!!
Alan Delaney: Phil, I have just read your newsletter. Sorry for the bum hand that you have been dealt. I have enjoyed reading your material and it will be sorely missed.
A thought occurred to me. Does Paramount employ somebody to check new Star Trek scripts for consistency? I think that what you have been doing with the Nitpickers Guide would make you ideally qualified for this role. Or how about writing scripts?
Robin M Peters: Mr. Farrand, Has it ever occurred to you to start your own publishing company? I chose to self-publish largely for the reasons you mentioned. Legalities can make anyone skittish. I also know of one woman who got very nervous and set up her own publishing company when she put out her second book; she knew her material was controversial and about a suit-happy subject (a person in this instance), so she marshalled her forces and set up her own company. Just a thought, FWIW.
Joerg Neidig: I read your article on the last page of the Newsletter. I was not too surprised to hear that noone wants to publish your books anymore, because I hear a lot about the American laws right now and I know how Paramount is treating the Star Trek fans.
But I am surprised of how easy you give up. Ok, I bet you wrote to about every publisher in the States. The problem is Paramount is creating here is an American problem. Please, do not forget that there is more than just the U.S.A. And the law system definitly is not the same in every state of the world.
Well, what I want to say is that Paramount (or other companies like Paramount) can only threaten publishers in the States. In Germany for example publishers laugh about threats like that. In Germany there are publishers (Bertelsmann for example) that are so powerful they could kick Paramounts butt. In Germany there is also no warfare on the book-market. The prices are fixed by the law to protect the small companies and to ensure profit.
No, I do not want you to emigrate to Germany. All I am saying is that you could really try to contact publishers outside the U.S.A. Try Canada for example. I think in a country where the treat of beiing suit is not that big publishers will definitly publish your books. As you say for yourself the Nitpickers guild is growing and the Star Trek fans are uncountable. In other words everything that has "Star Trek" written on it will ensure profit. And publishers all over the world know this.
So please, try. Do it for yourself (to continue to make money) and do it for your fans!
Kathy Warren: Got the latest newsletter, and it was wonderful, as they always are. I was very sad to hear of your problems with your publisher and the guides. The more involved i get in it, the more i believe it is a cruel business. I hope this setback won't diminish your passion for writing. I have a suggestion for when you're ready. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! with your vast knowledge of Trek in all its incarnations, why not write some Star Trek novels? i can't think of anyone more qualified. (just don't start writing gut-wrenching emotional books about Data, that's my job. ;-) ) Whatever you decide to do, i hope you find success and happiness in it. And i sure hope you'll continue with the Nitpickers' Guild. We need someplace to write to with all the stupid, intelligence-insulting things the movie and tv people try to slip past us, along with the funny, unintentional slip-ups.
Martin Stahl: I was very sorry to read that the Nitpickers' Guides as books will be discontinued, but I can understand your reasons and I am glad that you will continue in the web.
Mary Jo Sminkey: Sorry to hear about the decision from Dell. I too have been in a similar position in my field (not writing) and it can be frustrating. Thanks so much for all you have given us over the past years. I've had a lot of fun following along with your books as I watch my favorite episodes. Hope you will continue to entertain us on the website.
John Wyant: I've just received your 'unfortunate news'. I went through a whole gamut of emotions, from amazement, to disbelief, to anger. All I can say is I am completely astounded that this should have happened, especially in a country that is supposed to value 'freedom of speech' so highly. Speaking as an outsider, a lot of American culture seems to be ruled by the fear of litigation - the medical profession, big business, and, now it seems, publishing. This all makes a mockery of the principle of 'innocent until proven guilty'. If you have to bankrupt yourself to prove your innocence, then what's the point?
I suspect you may find some empathy with the writer of the following joke:
Q: What have you got if you've got a group of lawyers up to their necks in [concrete]? A: Not enough [concrete]!
You have my heartfelt sympathy in your plight. Are you going to continue with the newsletters, or are they in danger of being pounced upon, too? Just think of all those series of Voyager that may remain 'unpicked'! I am just thankful that a friend of mine managed to find me a copy of the 'Nitpicker's guide for X-philes' when he was in the States, as it doesn't seem to have been picked up over here yet, and presumably now won't be at all. (Thanks for the name-check, by the way!)
Best of luck in whatever you decide to do in the future - keep me on the list!
Elio Arteaga: I am so sorry to read about the recent legal decision that has ended your relationship with your publisher. As I read the "Unfortunate News" section of the latest newsletter, I felt sadness not only for myself and the thousands of Guild members, who will no longer have new Nitpickers Guides, but for you as well. You wrote saying that you're really okay with this, but I know you've done great work, creating products that you can really feel proud of. I know it must hurt.
I've been very lucky that I've kept the same job for 12 years. I do something I really enjoy--teaching computer graphics at the junior college level. I can also network and troubleshoot Macintosh computers. And I'm also a graphic designer. I have three careers, and I could probably make more money in one of the other two, but I would be extremely sad to leave the teaching profession. I can empathize with you.
Your books and your web site are something that I can turn to at the end of a hard day and lose myself in. Your enjoyment of your work shows through in your writing. For me, reading your books and participating in your website is like going to a party. I am glad to hear that you plan to continue with the website, but I understand if Paramount comes after you, you won't be able to afford a legal battle against a huge corporation.
I also understand that if you're involved in a programming job, you will probably spend alot of extra hours at work, or you will probably want to be away from the computer on your off hours. I will understand if you have to scale down or cease work on the website. I don't want it to end though. If you see yourself in that situation, perhaps you could delegate responsibility to other Guild members. Maybe you could seek sponsorship if your service provider becomes too expensive.
Bryan Foster: Hiya Chief! I was curious...did they kill ALL the Guides or just the Trek ones? If it's just the Trek ones, looks like you could still do your Star Wars guide (I would love a B5 guide, myself)but if it's all the Guides, how come? If it's just the guys from Trek raising the ruckus, why would it hurt the Star Wars guide? Also have you tried other publishers? Forgive me if these have been asked before. I'd just assume you keep them (the nits) on the web page like you have been doing with the Voyager nits. Anyway sorry to hear about that. Keep up the good work!
Christie Flynn: I just got around to reading the latest newsletter... I was stunned to learn of the abrupt (but inevitable?) end to the wonderful Nitpicker's Guides. I own and adore them all, and though I wish there were more to come, I can certainly understand what has occurred. I just wanted to write you this quick note to thank you for your incredible work on the Guides and wish you the best of luck in the future.
May nitpicking live long and prosper! Thanks again!
Klingons Have Ridges (At Least They Do Now)
Beginning with Mark Schieber's comments in the 6/12/98 column
Stephen Mendenhall: Actually, the problem of Klingon ridges might not be all that bad. Roddenberry said the ridges were there all along. But, I noticed something else. It seems to me, *all* the Klingons in TOS had full heads of hair and *all* the Klingons after TMP are balding. So the full heads of hair hid the ridges. Then in TMP and TOS it was the fashion for a while to shave their heads and show the ridges. Maybe in a period we haven't seen, 2300-2340, they might have gone back to the full heads of hair fashion. Part of the solution might also be that there's considerable variation in when Klingons start going bald. The 3 Klingons in DS9 just didn't happen to start going bald until late in life, and their ridges didn't start getting that big until late in life. Speaking of that episode, I wish they'd made it more clear who that Albino was. Have you heard anything else about him? Was he even a Klingon?
Harvey Kitzman: Regarding the ongoing debate about the Klingon forehead ridges: I seem to recall somewhere in one of the unofficial Star Trek reference books that Klingon warriors that were assigned to patrol near the Federation border were surgically altered to hide their true appearance as to make spying and infiltration missions possible. (The episode "The Trouble with Tribbles" could lend credence to this, as Darvin could not have been able to poison the grain). However, this practice was deemed dishonorable and discontinued. Unfortunately I can't find the article where I read this. Anyone out there care to venture a guess? As I said though in my comments for "Trials and Tribbleations", I think that it was a super-colossal galactic wimp-out that the writers of the episode didn't have Worf explain what the story was.
Tom Elmore: Regarding Klingons and ridges. Starlog Dec. 1988 interviewed the first Klingon, John Colico, who played Kor in Errand of Mercy took credit for the Klingon design. According to him, the make-up men had no idea what a Klingon should look like so they asked him. He says he suggested something "mongolian" for the Klingons reminded him of the Mongolians under Genghis khan (I hope I spelt that right) and that a green undertint be used to make them look "alien".
I might also add that Roddenberry had a fondness for oriental things, in fact he a Majel were married in Japan I believe in an oriental wedding ceremony. This would help explain why Klingons, Vulcans and Romulans look like they came from the far East.
The Death Of Jadzia
Beginning with Matt Greer's comments in the 6/12/98 column
Rene Charbonneau: Many people have been complaining that Jadzia's death was as pointless and dissappointing as Yar's death in TNG. I have to say that I 100% DISAGREE. I thought Jadzia's death was very well done and heart breaking. I was glad it wasn't a death in battle thing. All the baby stuff was very effective in making her death more tragic and I think the writers of "Tears Of The Prophets" did a marvelous job in handling her death.
Jim Elek: Since you continue to include comments on Jadzia's death, I thought I would add my two cents:
Her death was very reminiscent of Tasha Yar's death: a powerful, utterly evil being shows up, waves his hands, and a main character is dead. I just hope that we do not see Jadzia and Worf's daughter from the mirror universe show up and blame Sisko for Jadzia's death.
I agree that Dax should have went out as a warrior. After all there is a war going on and she is a member of the House of Martok.
This leads me to my biggest complaint of that episode. Why, all of sudden, was her presence necessary on DS9 instead the Defiant. How many episodes have we seen the entire command crew of the station, including Odo, take off in the Defiant and leave whoever (Morn?) in charge?
Maybe one could argue that Captain Sisko decided to be more cautious and actually leave a command-level person in charge during the war. A wise decision, but wouldn't Kira be the more appropriate candidate? She is a Bajoran officer and DS9 is a Bajoran station. Shouldn't her place be protecting Bajoran properties and not running around on a Federation warship? This really is a nit for any episode where Kira is aboard the Defiant and her presence is not essential to the mission.
Another problem I have with the situation is the whole "we're going to have a baby" angle. What a cheesy way to generate some last minute sympathy! They creators have had six years to develop the character sufficiently for the audience to feel sympathy at her passing. They must have felt they had not done a very good job over six years and deemed it necessary to tack on some extra emotional attachment.
Despite the poor way which her death was handled, it will be interesting to see how the aftermath is played out. Will people blame the Emissary for leaving at their hour of need? Will people have long enough memories to realize that it's all Kai Winn's fault for not allowing the Prophets to defeat their enemy earlier. Will Dax's new host join the crew of the station?
Before I end my rant, I must agree with Scott Newton that the post-ST II deaths have been less that satisfactory. It seems that the post-Roddenberry brain trust has an especially difficult time with the subject. Remember, they had to re-shoot Kirk's death after test audience's reaction and it still was a bit hokey.
Terrorism
Beginning with Omer Belsky's comments in the ac980619.htm7/3/98 Column
Omer Belsky: So if there is a war, bombing civil population is "okay" and if there isn't it's "wrong"?
No, I know that's not what you ment yet I don't see the diffrence. A terrorist organization has the same goals as a country while performing a militaristic attack. They have goals to achieve, and use the only weapon in their stockings. If anything, the Hiroshima bombwould be "less Moral" since the US had other means of war. Also, terrorist usually have other reasonings behind their attacks - the IRA wanted to get the british off northern Ireland, and as we see in the peace treaties signed today, their goals were achieved by convincing the british population and leadership that the price of maintaining the current control over Northern Ireland was too high to pay, much like the way the Hiroshima and Nagasaky bombs convinced Japanease government and population that the price of continuing the war was to high
Phil: Ya know. We could spend a lot of time going round and round about this but from my viewpoint: War is the final extreme. No sane person enjoys war. But, if war comes, it comes and when it comes, the rules change. I simply have a difficult time saying that specifically targeting a school bus full of children just to agonize their parents is the same as destroying a city to stun a government and thereby save millions and millions of lives that would have been lost in the conquest of the main islands of Japan. War is aweful. Aweful things happen in war. It's just the way it is.
Guinan's Cat Hands
Beginning with Mark Schieber's comments in the ac980619.htm7/3/98 Column
Corey Tacker: I was at a convention featuring John ("Q") deLancie a few years ago and he said that he and Whoopi Goldberg came up with the "cat-hands" thing in order to distract the viewers from what they thought was bad writing. J
Hardback Nitpicker's Guides
Beginning with Murray Leeder's comments in the ac980619.htm7/3/98 Column
Tom Elmore: Thought you might like to know that your second next generation book and the classic trek book are being featured with Harlan Ellisons script for City on the Edge of Forever in the current offerings from the Sci-Fi book club under the heading "unauthorized trek". They are also offering a special price if one buys all three (must be nice to think that they regard your writings on a par with Ellison!) They are also offering the DS9 guide as a "last chance" (I think it is the DS9- I misplaced the pamphlet)
On to the questions . . .
Vince Hamilton: I was just curious, have you ever met any of us nitpickers (whether it was at a convention or just the supermarket)? Do people recognize you immediately or does it take them a few minutes? Do they ask you for autographs?
Phil: Really, the main reason, I go to conventions is to meet other nitpickers! I have a blast at conventions, signing books, getting pictures taken, talking about Trek, et all . . .
Paul Steele:Perhaps with your music background (i.e. an ear for this sort of thing) you could help my wife and I solve a mystery.
On several occasions we have heard the most beautiful, uplifting, piece of music and we are trying to discover its origin.
We first heard it during the trailers for "Seven Years in Tibet." We assumed at the time that it was music from that movie. We were disappointed to discover otherwise. We heard again during another trailer (don't recall which one). Most recently it was used in the trailers for Disney's "Mulan."
Do you happen to know this music?
Any help would be appreciated.
Phil: Haven't seen either movie! Anybody here know?
Have a great weekend, everybody!
If you would like to submit a question or comment, send it to: chief@nitcentral.com with "Ask the Chief" or "Question" in the Subject line. (Remember the legalese: Everything you submit becomes mine and you grant me the right to use your name in any future publication by me.)
Copyright 1998 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.