NITPICKER'S GUILD NEWSLETTER
Fallish 1995
Volume 2, Number 2
TABLE OF CONTENTS
NOTES FROM THE CHIEF
September 4,1995
Greetings Fellow Nitpickers and Proud Members of the Nitpicker's
Guild! For a short time, there was actually a plan to have both
a summer and a fall issue of the newsletter but my parents
came home unexpectedly from Sri Lanka and my dad had a heart procedure
done and well . . . things have been a bit crazy around here so
this is the last newsletter for the year. I've started a new nitpicking
project and I it will chew up my time for the next seven months
(more on that in a minute). By the way, my dad is fine.
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume
II (NextGen II) is printed and on its way to bookstores. It
covers the seventh season of NextGen, the movie Star Trek Generations
and contains all new nits for the first six seasons of
NextGen as sent in by members of the Nitpickers Guild! It should
start showing up sometime mid-October. I hope you enjoy it!
Both the NextGen and Classic Guides are still selling well.
For that--as always--I do thank you. As of July 1, 1995 there
were 150,000+ copies of the NextGen guide in print and 65,000+
copies of the Classic Guide.
The Nitpickers Guild currently has over 3700 known members
from more that 20 different countries. Thanks to everyone for
your letters, pictures, gifts, poems and songs. I've enjoyed them
all. Thanks also to everyone who purchased a t-shirt. I trust
you're enjoying them. I'll probably have Sonny create two more
for next year so stay tuned. (Also, check out Geeb's latest ad
for new merchandise. Yes . . . the mugs have finally arrived.
T-shirt owners will understand.)
And speaking of next year, there are big happenings afoot
at Nitpicker Central. It now has a home page on the World Wide
Web (on the Internet)! Yes, friends we have finally jumped into
the information highway revolution. Several of you have written
to ask why I didn't have an e-mail address. Well, I did but I
just didn't publish it! I needed to make sure I could clearly
define the conditions underwhich people sent me nits (much like
the disclaimer I put at the end of the invitation to join the
Guild in the back of the Guides). The WWW home page gives me the
chance to do just that. And, there were other reasons but I won't
bore you with them here.
I have good news! Dell has agreed to publish a fourth
Nitpicker's Guide! Tentatively titled The Nitpicker's Guide
for Deep Space Nine Trekkers, it will cover the first four
seasons of Star Trek: Voyager. (Just joking. It will cover
the first four seasons of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Don't
you just love these really original titles?) It should hit the
book shelves in October of 1996. (We love those Christmas sales!)
I expect it to keep me very busy until the end of February 1996.
Then I'll be spending around one day a week on it until June.
Speaking of the DS9 Guide, guess what? We have a new editor!
Eric Wybenga--who did a great job on the NextGen II Guide--decided
that he wanted to freelance on his own. So, after he put the NextGen
II Guide to bed, he made the big leap. It was good to work with
you, Eric. (I must admit that I'm getting a bit twitchy about
this. Seems like every editor I work with not only leaves the
company, they also abandon editing as a full-time profession!
I don't think I'm that hard to work with! Wink, wink.) Anyway,
the new editor for the Nitpicker's Guides is Kristin Kiser. I
spoke with her on the phone the other day. She sounds very nice
and I'm looking forward to working with her.
In June, my wife and I flew to Vulcan . . . Vulcan, Alberta,
that is. We had a lovely time there with the good folks from the
Vulcan Association for Science and Trek (VAST). They have an annual
festival called Vulcan Spock Days. It's a combination Star Trek
convention, community gathering and rodeo! This year, they
unveiled a twenty foot steel spaceship that sits on a giant pedestal
out by the highway that runs past Vulcan. It was cool! Better
yet, fellow nitpicker Murray J.D. Leeder came by to say hello.
In July, I drove to Tulsa, OK and Mt. Vernon, IL to speak at conventions
on consecutive weekends. As always, it was a lot of fun--not only
speaking but meeting members of the Guild. I always have this
great fear that I'll forget to mention a Guild member whom I met
but to the best of my recollection here's the list: Bill DeLong,
Evelyn Hampton, Don Hicks, Dr. Wayne and Donna Johnson and Kathryn
A. Thomas. Good to meet you all face to face. (Oh . . . before
I forget, RoxCon, Ft. Smith, AR (Oct. 20-22) has been cancelled.)
On an even sadder note, I have a grave apology to make. Many
of you have sent postage for me to write you back. I tried for
the longest time to respond to everyone who sent me a self-addressed
stamped envelope (or an IRC as the case may be). Unfortunately--with
the new Guide and the new Web page--I must reluctantly admit I
am so far behind that I'm never going to get caught up.
I do apologize if you sent postage and have been waiting eagerly
for a response.
Finally, Rod Tyrrell of Victoria, Australia responded to my
IRS profundity in the Spring-ish issue of the newsletter by sending
me the following anecdote from the Taxation Office down under.
"A few years ago, a foreign language pamphlet--in Greek [I
believe]--sent out to help non-English speaking people fill in
their tax form, translated the paragraph, 'If the person to whom
this was addressed has died recently would a next-of-kin, friend
or neighbor kindly inform us as to the date of death and any other
relevant particular details,' into 'If you have died recently,
please let us know the date of your death and any relevant details.'
Happy Nitpicking! Phil Farrand
THE EDITORIALLY LIBERATED
Here are more of the "editorially liberated"
nits from the NextGen II Guide. As I explained in the Spring-ish
Issue of the newsletter, the NextGen II Guide became "spatially
challenged." Some of the nits had to become "unincluded."
This, of course, had nothing whatsoever to do with the quality
of these nits, there simply wasn't room to cram everything into
a 420 page book!
I mentioned last time that even with these cuts the NextGen
II guide was still too long. There were some additional cuts and
a format change to make space for more nits but I'm waiting to
see an actual copy of the book before I go through and find out
exactly what got the axe in the final editing. Who knows? Those
cuts may show up in a subsequent book. If not, I'll load them
onto the Nitpicker Central Home Page.
As I said last time, I do apologize if your nits got cut.
If I included it in the book in the first place I thought it was
a good nit. And, remember that there are many more nits than these
for each of the listed episodes. So, if you don't see your favorite
nit from a particular episode listed here, then it's probably
in the NextGen II Guide. If it isn't, send it in! Finally--as
I did in the Spring-ish newsletter--I've thrown in a plot summary
line in case you can't identify the episode from the title. I
also stripped out all the headers to save space (Plot Oversights,
Changed Premises, etc.)
And so, for your reading pleasure I am proud to present
the "almost made it in the NextGen II Guide" nits for
a few more episodes of the seventh season of Star Trek: The
Next Generation.
The Pegasus Star Date: 47457.1 (No cuts yet)
Homeward Star Date: 47423.9
Worf's step-brother, Dr. Nicholai Rozhenko refuses to let
a group of inhabitants on Boral II die--transporting them covertly
to the holodeck and forcing Picard to find them another home when
their world dies.
It's really too bad that Rozhenko didn't con one of the children
into making an impassioned plea for Picard to save Boral II during
the initial conference on the subject. If he had, Picard might
have acquiesced to setting up a long term atmospheric shield on
the planet. After all, the captain saved Drema IV during "Pen
Pals" after he heard Sarjenka's cry. The situation between
that world and Boral II is very similar. Yet, in this case, Picard
chooses the hard line, initially telling Rozhenko that the Prime
Directive prohibits him from helping the inhabitants of Boral
II.
Before setting course for the new Boralan home world at maximum
warp, did Picard get permission to exceed the new warp speed limit?
(Personally, I don't know why they just don't exempt the Enterprise
from that rule anyway. Seems like every show has an emergency
that authorizes them to exceed warp 5!)
Sometimes I fear for the lack of problem solving ability among
the crew of the flagship of the Federation. Rozhenko has a bunch
of Boralans stashed in pseudo-caves on the holodeck. Problem:
The holodeck is malfunctioning. It needs to be shut down and reinitialized,
a process that Picard claims would take hours. Solution taken
by the Enterprise crew: Cross fingers and hope the holodeck
holds out. Wait a minute: These Boralans have to go to sleep sometime,
don't they? Riker states that it will take 42 hours at maximum
warp to reach the new planet. Doesn't it seem likely that the
Boralans will fall asleep at some point in those 42 hours? Why
not just let them lay down and the flood the holodeck with anesthezine?
Knock 'em out for eight hours or so. Fix the holodeck. Start it
up and let them wake up. Problem . . . solved! (Except that it
would make for a really short show.)
During the initial observation lounge meeting, Picard agrees
to allow Rozhenko to establish a comlink to his logs on the surface
and "upload" the information to the Enterprise.
This may or may not be the correct terminology depending on your
viewpoint. If Rozhenko is taking remote control of his computer
on the surface and telling it to transfer its information to the
main computer on the Enterprise, that could be called an "upload."
However, if Rozhenko is using the main computer to contact his
computers on the surface and transfer the information, then probably
the better term would be "download." (Is this confusing
or what?)
Thanks to: David M. Blakeman of Merced, CA and Amit Udeshi
of Barrington, IL
Sub Rosa Star Date: 47488.2
Felisa Howard's ghost-lover Ronin takes up with her grand-daughter
Beverly Crusher when Felisa dies.
Several nitpickers found fault with the exhumation of Felisa
Howard's coffin. In the scene, the crew transports the coffin
from two meters down to rest on top of the freshly covered grave.
The nitpickers thought the dirt should collapse once the coffin
was removed. However, if burial practices in the 24th century
are similar to the 20th century, the coffin is actually lowered
into a concrete sarcophagus and then covered with a concrete lid
before being buried. Since the sarcophagus supports the dirt,
the grave wouldn't collapse if the coffin was beamed away.
Without ruining the trivia question for this episode, Ronin
claims his birth was in the mid-17th century. To this Crusher
responds incredulously asking if he is an 800 year-old ghost.
I realized that she's a bit zoned at this point and probably doesn't
have her math circuitry engaged but there's more like 700 years
from mid-17th century to the time frame of the episode.
The pattern is established in other episodes, but it still
amazes me how easily Starfleet personnel can resign. No two week's
notice. No training in of a replacement. Just, "See ya! I'm
out-a-here!" It must make for horrendously redundant specialty
teams. (You would have to organize yourself so that any person
could instantly resign and the integrity of the team would survive.)
Crusher resigns from Starfleet. Picard comes down to the surface
to find out why. Ronin appears and subsequently zaps Picard. Beverly
pulls out her tricorder and starts doctoring him. I thought she
was going to be a healer like her grandmother? From the sounds
of it, Felisa Howard concentrated more on herbal medicine. Also,
does Starfleet allow officers who resign to keep their equipment?
This Ronin guy is pretty amazing. Exhuming the coffin, Data
and La Forge lift the lid on Felisa Howard (setting the stage
for the oldest known horror movie gimmick). Ronin invades her
lifeless body and animates it into sitting up and speaking with
Crusher. Note the fluid movements of Felisa Howard and the lack
of creaking bones. This from a woman whose been dead long enough
to have a very advanced case of rigor mortis.
This isn't really a nit but Felisa Howard's house seems completely
devoid of any 24th century modern conveniences. Of course, with
a built-in pleasure-packing ghost maybe you don't need anything
else.
In Main Engineering, just after La Forge tells the governor
about a power fluctuation in the weather control systems of the
colony, Data walks over to a panel. He reaches up and acts like
he is hitting several buttons when, in fact, his fingers are dancing
over the same large button. Also the graphics on the panel stay
the same with the exception of a few "blinkies" when
Data acts like they are changing.
Thanks to: David M. Blakeman of Merced, CA; Laura Dachenbach
of Gahanna, OH; Aaron Peterkin of Winnipeg, Manitoba; James Ramsey
of Panama City, FL; Greg Settles of Hixson, TN; Mine L. Sharpe
of Taiwan and Joshua Truax of Fridley, MN
CLASSIC COGITATIONS
Here's more of your comments on the Classic Guide--corrections,
alternate viewpoints, additional information and the like. For
those of you getting a Nitpickers Guild Newsletter for the first
time, you'll note that I've never thought my opinion was the best
or the brightest. It's simply mine. Part of the fun of this endeavor
is hearing the wide variety of opinions out there in the Star
Trek Fan Pool.
I've received input from many of you concerning the syndication
cuts listed in the Classic Guide. Some remember seeing the cuts
in the 70s after the show was already in syndication. Some recall
scenes disappearing. Others live in markets where all the shows
have cuts. I'm inclined to think that the syndicated tapes from
Paramount started hitting the television marketplace around 1978--that
is the date of the copyright at the end of the syndicated tapes.
In that case, stations playing Star Trek prior to the arrival
of these tapes would have made their own edits or simply run them
uncut. If the stations made their own cuts then it makes sense
that scenes previously unseen would start appearing once the stations
received their set of tapes from Paramount. Also, it sounds like
Paramount released some sets of tapes to stations before all of
the episodes had been edited down--leading to the situation in
certain markets where episodes uncut for syndication here in Springfield
have been cut for syndication there. (Unless, of course, the stations
themselves edited down the twenty uncut episodes.)
Is everybody thoroughly confused at this point?
On the matter of the tote boards in the Classic Guild,
suffice it to say that I wasn't as careful as I thought I was
being. David Estes of Gadsden, AL in particular put me to shame
with his additions to the number of times Spock says, 'Fascinating.'
He listed 33 more instances!!
Closing Still From A Time-Warping Worm Hole
Bill DeLong of Springfield, MO wrote, "I do have [a nit]
about your 'star field' descriptions. [It's] really grungy
(your favorite kind). On page 293 [for the episode 'The Lights
of Zetar'], you claim [the last closing still] is the cloaked
Bird-of-Prey from Star Trek III. How is this possible? That footage
won't occur for about twenty!
I gotta tell ya, no one was more stunned than I when I
made the discovery that the simple looking star field was actually
a freeze frame from a movie two decades in the future. The only
explanation I can come up with is the footage somehow fell into
a time-displacement wormhole and landed right on Roddenberry's
desk. (Everybody realizes that Bill and I are just joking, right?)
We Starts 'Em Young In The Guild
Winston Kotzan of East Chicago, IN informed, "I am a
9-year-old boy that enjoys one of your books. I found some mistakes
in your Nitpicker's Guide for Classic Trekkers. On the
Closing Stills for 'This Side of Paradise,' you said Kirk and
Spock eyeing tools, 'The Guardian on the Edge of Forever.' It's
'The City on the Edge of Forever.' You also said Balok Puppet,
'Where No Man Has Gone Before' when the Balok puppet is in 'The
Corbomite Maneuver.'
And Speaking Of Getting Scragged . . .
Jared Savage of Salina, KS had these comments about a nit
I picked in "A Piece of the Action," "You state
that Kirk is worried about using his phaser because he'll be violating
the Prime Directive if anyone sees him using it. This is not the
reason. During the conversation with the little punk that helps
them, the kid says, 'If you open up you'll be scragged from every
window on the street.' Somehow, Kirk and Spock figure out that
this means there are gunmen hiding in the windows in the surrounding
buildings. This is good tactics. If a hit were to be carried out
on Krako's headquarters, Krako would surely want more that two
sitting ducks standing in front of the door. He'd want hidden
snipers everywhere."
"However, don't ask me why these hidden gunmen don't
take action when Kirk and Spock rough up the two guards."
The Awful Music On The Edge of Forever
Herbert L. Kaplan of North Bellmore, NY supplied some missing
information on the music for the uncut version of 'The City on
the Edge of Forever.' "The 'awful music' you mention was
actually written for the home video version to replace the original
music in the broadcast version. As Richard Arnold wrote in his
column in The Official Fan Club Magazine (#95, Feb./Mar.
'94): 'The studio had cleared the original recording of 'Goodnight,
Sweetheart' with ASCAP back in 1967, but that didn't cover its
use in future video product.' Fred Steiner's partial score for
this episode (most of the score is tracked in from other episodes)
make use of the 'Goodnight, Sweeheart' melody in different variations
at different points in the story. The most dramatic moment, Edith's
death, used a minor-key orchestration; this moment is practically
ruined in the home-video version by the whiny replacement music
used at that point. It's a real shame that the Paramount home
video department couldn't go to the trouble or expense of renegotiating
the original agreement with ASCAP and presenting the widely-acknowledge
'best episode ever made' in its pristine original form. (Hey!
Let's star a petition!)" [Note to Herbert from Phil: The
music project sound fascinating but I am swamped with other work.
Sorry I didn't get back with you on that.]
And The Bloopie Goes To . . .
Larry Hooten of Perris, CA correctly advised, "As to
your award for Least Dressed Alien Female [in the Intragalatic
Trek Awards, pages 378-380], you forgot about the Horta, who spent
the entire episode crawling on the ground in the nude!
(Except at the end when she wore only a bandage).
Well . . . I have to admit that Larry does have a point
there. Unfortunately, the Bloopie has already been awarded to
the triple-breasted Tigerwoman from STV: The Final Frontier and
I'm certainly not going to try to take it away from her!
To Air Date is Human But Is Production Order Divine?
Stanley Dunigan of Bethany, OK took me to task for listing
the episodes in the Classic Guide in air date order. He found
my reasoning in the introduction less than convincing. In the
introduction, I stated that all the other references for Star
Trek listed the episodes in production order but I had problems
with that approach since doing so for ST:TNG results in Yar dying
in 'Skin of Evil' and magically resurrecting in 'Symbiosis.'
In rebuttal, Stanley mentioned at least two other reference
works that list the episodes in air date order (David Gerrold's
"The World of Trek" and the new "Trek: The Unauthorized
A-Z"). Also Stanley pointed out that the network chose the
airdate schedule--not Roddenberry and crew--and the airdate order
has a real problem with the awkward placement of "Where No
Man Has Gone Before."
These are all good points. In my own defense, I would only
add the following. I should have been more specific in my statement
about reference books concerning Star Trek. I should have said
the officially recognized reference books from Pocket Books
list the episodes in production order. (That really is what I
meant. It just didn't come out that way.) As to the network deciding
when Star Trek would air, I have the following comment: What's
a network? (I don't deal in reality, remember? Unless it suits
me, of course!) And, what about the odd reversal of uniforms and
personnel in "Where No Man Has Gone Before?" I don't
know. Maybe it was "Goofy Dress-up Day" on the Enterprise.
CONTINUING COMMUNICATIONS
As always, I enjoy hearing from you. Here are more excerpts
from your letters. First, though, we need to take care of some
business from the Spring-ish 1995 newsletter.
What Do You Get When You Cross Nomad With Sargon?
Well . . . the answer certainly isn't "Sargon"
as I stated in the last newsletter. Sorry, sorry. My apologies
to Christopher J. Moss of Scarborough, Ontario for ruining his
riddle. So, what do you get when you cross Nomad with Sargon?
A Romulan Cloaking device!
An Answer For The Urgent Plea For Help
Last time, I included Jim Siterlet's wonderment over the
fact that he remembered a scene from STIII: The Search for Spock--Uhura
fleeing to the Vulcan Embassy after beaming Kirk and company to
the Enterprise--that had disappeared from all subsequent showings
of the film. I said at the time that the Guild had some tremendous
resources for answering these conundrums and sure enough the letters
came pouring in.
Mark Alfred of Oklahoma, OK--a contributor to the book series
The Best of TREK--wrote, "Jim Siterlet is probably
mistaken about the scene he thinks he remembers [although] his
recapitulation of these actions may have been in the [original]
script. I know that this scene appears on pages 203-209 of Vonda
McIntyre's novelization of the film, which is probably where this
'false memory' came from."
"On the other hand, perhaps Siterlet was at a sneak screening
of the film before its final edit. And, the idea of a sequence
removed from this part of the film is bolstered by a careful listening
of the soundtrack of the film. The cut in question is 'Stealing
the Enterprise.' Match up the music on the album with the music
heard in the film, and you'll notice something 'very interesting,'
as Arte Johnson used to say on Laugh-In. In the film, we
see Kirk & company vanish onto the bridge. However, the soundtrack
score contains about ten seconds or so of frantic, suspenseful-type
music in between Kirk's beam out and the shot of the Enterprise.
This indicates that a brief sequence was actually in the film,
and that James Horner wrote and composed music for this scene,
and that only after being scored was the scene cut from the final
print."
"In the final evaluation, unless someone else verifies
the presence of this scene from a sneak viewing, Siterlet's memories
must be deemed suspect. This is nothing pejorative, though. I've
got the same problem with a bit from STVI: The Undiscovered
Country. Remember the assassination of Gorkon in the film?
Now, I'm willing to swear that I saw a brief close-up of one of
the assassins' boots materializing onto the Enterprise's
transporter pad, a globule of Klingon blood still floating in
the air above it, and that blob of blood splashing down on the
edge of the boot and the transporter pad. I know I saw
it! Except I couldn't have. This little shot is missing from the
video version of the film, and also missing from the bootleg video
I've seen of the actual theatrical version of the film. So, I
remember it, though it wasn't there!"
There ya go, Jim. Hope some of that helped a bit and thanks
to everyone else who wrote into mention that the scene was in
the novel.
American Men Who Wear Suspenders
Last time I promised to tell you why American men travelling
in England should never go into a clothing store and ask the pretty
young girl behind the counter if they can purchase a pair of suspenders
to replace the ones they left at home.
Allie Brightwell of Hampshire England sent along the following
comments after reading the Classic Guide, "I may have said
this one before but I thinks it's a giggle anyway. In 'What Are
Little Girls Made Of?' you comment on Andrea's costume. [Note
from Phil: I stated that--on Exo III--personal status seems to
dictate how much clothing you get to wear. Korby wears a full
jumpsuit. Brown wears a shirt with pants that have integrated
suspenders. But, poor Andrea must wear only pants and suspenders.]
[Andrea's costume] translates into something completely different
in English English! Suspenders are specifically the things
ladies hold their stocking up with and since nobody would wear
stockings with trousers, pants immediately take on their other
meaning of underwear so one gets a picture of Andrea wandering
around in nothing but a pair of lacy knickers and stockings. I
bet that would have sent the ratings up a few notches!"
Mold, Molder, Moldest, Moldierest
Okay, okay. I've had enough fun tweaking Mulder's last
name (The X-Files). First, I spelled it "Moulder"
in the December 1994 issue of the newsletter. Then, I spelled
it "Moulder" again in the Spring-ish 1995 issue of the
newsletter. It's really spelled "Mulder." There are
definitely X-philes out there. (Me included.) Hmmm.
Fate Fails Fulfilling Its Fame
David Nurenberg of Northampton, MA sent along the following
observation, "I think Riker is in error when he said, 'Fate
protects fools, children and ships named Enterprise."
The Enterprise (no-suffix) blew-up. The Enterprise-A got beaten
within an inch of its life and then decommissioned. The Enterprise-C
got blown up. The Enterprise-D got blown up. The jury's still
out on the Enterprise-B. If I were Starfleet, I would never name
another ship Enterprise again!"
Personally, I wouldn't put to much hope in the Enterprise-B
surviving either. With Captain Harriman in the big chair . . .
Top Five Reasons "Lost In Space" is Better
than Star Trek
by Scott McClenny of Newport, WA
5. LIS Robot had more personality than Spock.
4. Compared to "Spock's Brain," "The Great
Vegetable Rebellion" does make sense.
3. LIS ran for four more episodes than TOS.
2. In a word: Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny!
1. June Lockhart (Enough said?)
Top Ten Reasons Bajorans Have Ridge On Their Noses
Submitted by Rod Tyrrell of Victoria, Australia
10. Handy place to stick Velcro.
9. Keeps rainwater from running down into their noses.
8. It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries.
7. The first primordial Bajoran crawling out of the ooze was
near-sighted and bumped into a tree trunk.
6. A Ruffles Plague hit Bajor 500 years ago.
5. Bajoran royalty needed coat racks.
4. Haven't invented plastic surgery.
3. Can tell time by the shadows cast from overhead sun.
2. You'd wrinkle your nose too if you had to smell Cardassians
for sixty years.
1. Pointed ears were already taken.
To Fold Or Not To Fold, That Is The Question
Joe Haseman of Raleigh, NC had these comments about Data's
poker playing in the episode, "Cause and Effect," "Consider
the seemingly infinite repeating hand of five card stud. After
four cards Data shows 4, 6, 9 of assorted suits; Riker is working
on a possible straight; Crusher has a pair of queens. You don't
need a Ph.D. in statistics (which I happen to have incidentally,
although it's not important), to know that any poker player with
any skill at all must fold Data's hand. (In fact, he probably
should have folded a round earlier.) There are no flush possibilities,
no straight possibilities. What card does Data hope to get? The
best hand Data could possibly have at that point is a pair of
nines. Yet he calls the bet."
"Even more incredibly, Data's last card pairs his nines
and does not improve Crusher's pair of queens. Yet at this point,
Data folds! Why? What better card could he possibly have hoped
for? Was he afraid of Riker's possible straight? If so, the time
to fold was much earlier in the hand. After receiving his final
card, Data must call, not fold. At that point Data must have at
least two pair, probably three nines for his betting to make any
sense at all. Since Riker was bluffing and Crusher apparently
had only a pair of queens, Data would have won the hand."
Gasp! Say It Isn't So!
Lee Zion of the USS Kitty Hawk had these comments on
Star Trek Generations, "I loved the series with the
emotion-chip-equipped Data. But now that he has emotions and gets
to be treated just like any other Starfleet officer, doesn't that
mean he gets to be court-martialed for failing to act and allowing
Geordi to become a hostage? Don't forget, in the 20th-century
US military "Cowardice before the face of the Enemy"
is a violation of the uniform Code of Military Justice and is
punishable as a court-martial may direct.
On the other hand, I have a sneaking suspicion that Riker
won't be court-martialed either for failing to rotate shield frequencies
or forgetting to eject the core!
Freud Strikes Again
Amber Mikkola of Livonia, MI noted the following slip of the
tongue, "There's a mistake in [the TNG episode] "We'll
Always Have Paris." Near the end, Picard and Jenice go to
the holodeck to say good-bye. Jenice says, 'I expect you to always
come charging to my rescue.' Picard replies, 'I'll do my breast.'
[emphasis added]. Well we certainly know what's on his mind!"
"Boarding Party, Prepare To Wield Your Make-Up
Brushes!"
Colleen Carteaux of Fort Wayne, IN observed, "The ST:TNG
novel "Blaze of Glory" describes a "rouge"
ship on the back cover. Could they mean a "rogue" ship?
Or, does this species attack ships and give their crewmembers
red cheeks?"
I usually stay away from nitpicking books but I did this
time because--as Allie Brightwell would say--it was good for a
giggle. Oh, and for all you nitpickers across the pond who speak
the King's English, "cheeks" in this context refers
to either side of the face! (Wink, wink.)
Oops, Sorry, Oops!
Dr. Masao Okazaki of Tokyo, Japan brought the following oversight
to my attention, "In your discussion of 'Up the Long Ladder,'
you state that the markings on the cloning lab machines are in
an alien language. Alien indeed! In fact, the marking are in Japanese
and read, 'Yoshimitsu,' the maker of the equipment."
Fair Is Fair
Robert Mausner of Fair Lawn, NJ stated, "In your comments
on 'Legacy,' you comment on the skin-tight body suit Ishara Yar
is given on the Enterprise. However, you make no similar
mention of John Doe's equally form fitting body suit in 'Transfigurations'
(even though Ishara's was admittedly of more interest). Isn't
this a bit sexist? John's outfit made hospital gowns look modest."
News From The Front
Professor Arnelle Fuller of Fulton, NY reported, "Did
you happen to notice that on a recent appearance on QVC, Michael
Pillar [executive producer of ST:DS9 and ST:Voyager] admitted
two things? One, that he'd never even seen an episode of the classic
series. And two, he said the producers of the two remaining ST
series were calling their work 'science fantasy' not 'science
fiction.' Uh-oh do I feel something slipping here?!"
Was Molly Born Out Of Wedlock?
John Burrows of Middlesex, England made the following discovery,
"In the Classic Guide review of 'Balance of Terror,' you
refer to [the TNG episode] 'Data's Day' whereby both captains
refer to 'the happy privilege that ships' captains enjoy' of marrying
couples. You missed the big nit . . . they can't! This fact was
reported in a British TV programme some time ago but I have just
phoned the American Embassy to see if things are different over
there. The reply was, 'No, they can't. It's a romantic myth. The
couple wouldn't be legally married.' If things have changed in
the future, the captains would hardly state that it is a long
standing custom. [Note from Phil: Both Kirk and Picard do. I believe
they both say something like, 'since the days of sailing ships.']
I admit the myth has persisted in film and literature on both
sides of the Atlantic and I wonder why. Incidentally, shouldn't
a starship have a chaplain?"
Music From The South Pacific
Mike Ezzo of Mie-Ken, Japan--noting my confusion over the
odd configuration of the Kriosian xylophones in "The Perfect
Mate"--had this to say, "The instruments the creators
used are actual musical instruments called 'Gender Wayang' from
the island of Bali. Of course, they dubbed in a different (thought
actually similar) sound coming from these instruments. But they
are real. And in a way, they didn't really make a blooper.
I'll explain. These instruments are played in pairs. One pair
faces the other, so that when one pair moves left, they
are going down in register while the other pair facing them goes
the same direction and moves up in register. The directors
seemed to take their authenticity with these instruments a little
far, I think. When Picard jumps to the small one facing him, he
actually does have to play it backwards, thus what looks
like a nit actually isn't. In playing these instruments by himself,
from the same position, the melody would move in the opposite
direction when he switched to the second one. However, the Balinese
didn't intend the two or four instruments to be played solo! If
anything, that was the director's biggest blooper."
The Para Mounties On The Move Down Under
In July of this year, Rod Tyrrell from Victoria, Australia
sent me a double-sided sheet detailing efforts by Paramount's
licensing division to crack the whip over unlicensed fan clubs
in Australia. Since it no doubt foreshadows the same type of efforts
by Paramount here in the States, I thought you might find a synopsis
of the information included in the sheet interesting.
Now that Australia has an officially sanctioned and licensed
Star Trek fan club, Paramount has decided it's time bring some
pressure to bear on unlicensed fan clubs concerning any major
breaches of copyright against its product, namely Star Trek.
In a mid-March meeting between fan clubs and Paramount representatives,
the following restrictions were detailed concerning the operation
of any unlicensed fan club:
1. Clubs could not show any Star Trek videos at meetings or
functions. (This was definite and would not be broken for any
reason. Only the official fan club could show videos at their
gatherings.)
2. Clubs could not sponsor conventions without licensing from
Paramount. (Licensing would be considered for approval from other
than the official fan club.)
3. Clubs could not sell Star Trek merchandise that was not
locally sourced.
4. Since there is only one officially sanctioned fan club,
unlicensed clubs should not call themselves a Star Trek fan club
since the use of the name Star Trek infringes on the intellectual
property rights of Paramount.
5. Clubs should not accept membership dues or newsletter subscriptions
since they generate monies on the basis of the Star Trek property
and Paramount receives no funds in return.
6. Clubs should not raise money for charity for the same reason.
And there's more! Rod also told me that the official fan
club has decided that it will only allow its members to
get autographs from the stars at the conventions it sponsors.
So if you're a member of an unlicensed fan club and you go to
a convention put on by the official fan club, you can't get an
autograph!
Now for a few comments from yours truly.
Does Paramount have the right to do this? Absolutely! Star
Trek is the intellectual property of Paramount and they have the
right to control it anyway they choose. (Thank God for the First
Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America
and the Copyright Law. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any Nitpicker's
Guides!)
Second question: Is it wise for Paramount to do this? Probably
not! I have a hard time believing that the amount of money generated
by this type of crack down will in any way offset the ill-will
created by such tactics. The sheet Rod sent me does say that the
Paramount representative stated that Paramount recognized the
value of the Star Trek clubs worldwide for the past 30 years and
that Paramount has no intention of shutting any club down unless
there is a major breach of copyright. Oh, now that's comforting,
isn't it!
For my money, it makes a whole lot more sense to go after
someone who's engaged in such a major breach individually
(i.e. someone holding a big convention, splashing the words Star
Trek all over it and not bothering to get Paramount's permission).
I'm having a hard time understanding what benefit Paramount derives
from getting ugly with fan clubs and creating a lot of bad feelings.
Parting "Borgs"
Daniel Case of Clarence, NY; John S. Digianno of E. Elmhurst,
NY; Regina Garbe of Hameln, Germany and Frank Raffaele of Brooklyn,
NY sent these my way.
I am Ebola of Borg: Vaccines are irrelevant. We are resistant.
Prepare to be infected.
I am Wimpy of Borg: I will gladly assimilate you Tuesday for
a hamburger today.
I am Rambo of Borg: Resistance is the disease. I am the cure.
I am Bjorn of Borg: Your serve will be returned. You will
be humiliated. Advancement is futile.
I am McCoy of Borg: He's assimilated, Jim!