NITPICKER'S GUILD NEWSLETTER
Springish 1995
Volume 2, Number 1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
NOTES FROM THE CHIEF
April 14, 1995
Greetings Fellow Nitpickers! I'm finally back! I fully
intended to have this newsletter in your hands at least by mid-April
(even though bulk mailings in the States can take up to three
weeks!) but it took longer than expected to read through all the
mail that had stacked up in my in-box while I finished The
Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II--hereinafter
referred to as the NextGen II Guide (more on that in a minute).
And, there was a bunch of procedural detail to take care of with
the new Merchandise Department here at Nitpicker Central (more
on that in a minute).
First of all, however, I need to apologize to any nitpicker
who has had to wait over three months to receive anything
from me. I do try to respond--by sending a free newsletter--to
everyone who writes and I try to accomplish that within
three months of getting the first letter from a person. However,
it's just me doing this gig and I ran out of hours in the day.
The NextGen II Guide is in production. It will be released
in Nov. 1995. It will cover the seventh season of NextGen, Star
Trek: Generations and selected portions of the submissions
to the Nitpickers Guild. In other words, it has all new nits for
the first six seasons of NextGen! I just saw a cover slick a few
days ago. It will be pretty! Originally, I had the Guild acknowledgements
scattered among the nitpicking so you would have a better idea
who submitted what. Unfortunately, space became an issue. So I
pulled them all into a block in the front.
Both the NextGen and Classic Guides are still selling well.
For that, I do thank you. I don't have any hard numbers. I've
been too busy with other things to ask the right questions.
The Nitpickers Guild currently has over 3000 known members
and there's still letters in my in-box. I set the cutoff date
for this mailing at May 1. If you have a friend who sent me a
letter at least one week before May 1 and they didn't get a newsletter,
please have them re-send. I'll get them in the database to receive
the next newsletter.
And, it might interest you to know that Nitpicker Central
now has a resident solar physicist. Her name is Mitzi Adams and
she works for NASA. I met Mitzi at a convention last year and
found her to be a very valuable resource. Besides, she's hip to
Trek and nitpicking!
I thought we'd do something a bit different this year with
respect to the newsletter. Namely, I am going to try to send them
to you for free! (Hence, the newsprint.) Of course, there
are hard costs involved with printing and distributing said newsletters,
even on newsprint. (You wouldn't believe the postage.) But, a
short while ago I located Zelbob Geeb in the Cosmard system and
convinced him to come on board at Nitpicker Central as "Merchandise
Manager." (Those of you unfamiliar with this unfairly persecuted
person can learn more on pages 351-353 of the NextGen Guide.)
Zelbob is convinced that I can fund the newsletters this year
solely from sales of nitpicking memorabilia. We'll see!
As our first offering, I recruited a talented artist I know
here in Springfield named Sonny Carder. It's been great to work
with him. I think you'll enjoy his work. In the process, he developed
a new logo for the Nitpickers Guild. (Yes, I dropped the apostrophe.
It was an inside joke that I never got around to telling you about.
It served its purpose and actually got a few people to write so
you'll still see it in the books! And, on the membership card.
Still have a few of those to give away. Wink, wink.) Take a good
look at the logo. This is what it looks like in its pristine form
(without the word "newsletter" under it, of course).
It also appears on the t-shirts. However, since I never take myself
too seriously, I thought it would be fun to modify the logo every
time in conjunction with the theme of the t-shirt. (The true graphic
designers of the world stand aghast.) I also thought it would
be fun to have a Nitpickers Guild Seal of Approval on each shirt
("Accept No Substitutes") and have the seal pick up
the theme of the shirt as well. I'm very happy with the results.
In the December 1994 issue of the newsletter, I wondered if
the term "nitpicking"--specifically finding fault in
Star Trek--gained popularity with the publishing of the NextGen
Guide. In an episode of the X-Files, someone invites Moulder
(Okay, okay, I admit it I misspelled his name last time) over
to nitpick Earth 2. I thought it would be great to claim
responsibility for that line! Several nitpickers responded with
information. It appears that the term "nitpicking" was
used with regards to finding fault with a television show prior
to the NextGen Guide but the Guide has probably popularized it
to a greater extent. 'Nuff said! (By the way, the 1994 newsletters
are all gone.)
March 1995 was fun. I was at the Grand Slam in Pasadena on
the third weekend. At first, I was going to speak and then there
was a mix up and I wasn't on the schedule but the kind folks at
Creation Entertainment found a slot for me on Friday and on
Sunday! I signed and gabbed for most of Friday afternoon. The
next weekend, I spoke at the Morris Museum in Morristown, NJ.
Nitpickers Paul Lilly and Thomas Beck came by to say hello. (Did
I miss any other Guild member who came come by?)
I leave you with the following profundity from the IRS. I
spotted it while preparing to mail my taxes. "If you're filing
electronically, do not use this envelope." Happy Nitpicking,
Phil Farrand
THE EDITORIALLY LIBERATED
Someday, when electronic readers become commonplace and
RAM becomes mind-numbingly cheap, we might get to the place in
publishing where we don't worry about the page count of books.
Unfortunately, that day has not arrived. The first time I ran
a page count estimate for The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation
Trekkers, Volume II it laid out to 675 pages! (Just a wee bit
too long!)
Of course, that meant something had to get cut.
Dell wanted the book to run approximately the same length as the
original NextGen Guide (around 430). So, I started hacking away
and got it down to around 530 pages. Then, Eric took his shot
at it and found a few more nits, and pages, to cut. Then, I ran
an analysis and found we could save some space if we moved all
the credit lines scattered throughout the text into a large acknowledgment
block at the beginning of the book. (Almost 850 names!) Unfortunately,
we're still around 480 pages which means there's still more
cutting to come! (Ah, well.)
I thought you might enjoy seeing nits that were "editorially
liberated due to the fact that the book--through no fault of it's
own--had become spatially challenged." I have some concerns
however.
First, I am way ahead of the curve in showing you
this. I really should wait until the NextGen II Guide is released
so you won't prejudge the book. But I decided, "Life's short!
Be daring!"
Second, these nits didn't get cut from the NextGen II Guide
because they weren't good nits. Sometimes we needed a specific
number of lines and the nit just happened to fit what we needed.
Third, the NextGen II Guide has many more nits than these
for the episodes. If you don't see your favorite nit for a given
episode, take heart. It's probably in the NextGen II Guide.
Fourth, I do apologize if you find that your nit got cut.
There was no easy way to drop the page count. Something had to
go.
Now, a few final housekeeping items before the fun begins.
Under each title with "un-included" nits, I've thrown
in a plot summary line in case you can't identify the episode.
Also, I stripped out all the headings that normally appear in
a Nitpicker's Guide (Plot Oversight, Changed Premises, etc.).
They were just chewing up space. And, since I really haven't said
anything about the seventh season yet, I thought it would be fun
to start there and work our way backward. Oh, and I didn't bother
drop in my name even when I originated the un-included nit. (Yes,
I cut my own, as well.)
And so, for your reading pleasure I am proud to present
the "almost made it in the NextGen II Guide" nits for
the seventh season of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Descent, Part II Star Date: 47025.4
Picard, Troi and La Forge find a way to reboot Data's ethical
program and gain his assistance in defeating Lore and the Borg.
Just before Data exits the detention cell for the first time,
he tells Picard that he considers his time aboard the Enterprise
a waste and his quest to be human misguided. In other words, he's
pretty torqued at Picard and humanity in general. So, why is he
still wearing his Starfleet uniform? Why would he still want to
be identified with that organization?
At one point, the lovely empathic Troi asks La Forge if he's
in pain. Finding it incongruous that Troi wouldn't know, Alma
Jo Williams submitted the following hypothesis. She noticed that,
for the most part, Troi does not display any empathic awareness
while dressed in a standard uniform and wondered if the bunny
suit might actually be composed of some sort of shapeshifting
symbiotic aliens that have ESPer abilities but can only live and
function on Betazoids because of a unique pheromone configuration.
(Oh now come on, admit it. That explanation is just as good as
some of the technobabble treats dished up for us at the end of
many of the seventh season episodes!)
During the conclusion of the episode, the Borg, Riker and
Worf have a free-for-all in the Borg meeting area. Throughout
the entire fight, Picard stands and watches. Fists are flying.
Phasers are firing. Energy discharges are zipping through the
room. Yet, Picard shows his valiant spirit by quietly observing
the altercation from the center of the room. (Personally, I'd
be diving for cover. Or maybe, rescuing La Forge and Troi
from the detention cell and exiting the building.)
Thanks to: Alma Jo Williams of Ithaca, NY and Ryan Jodrell
of Cremona, Alberta
Liaisons Star Date: Unknown
An Iyaaran ambassador kidnaps Picard to learn the meaning
of love while two others explore pleasure and aggression with
Troi and Worf.
While Picard is away on his adventure, Troi and Worf play
host to two Iyaaran ambassadors. At the buffet in Ten-Forward,
Troi feeds her ambassador a forkful of dessert from her own utensil.
Yet, later in the halls, when her ambassador offers her a drink
of papalla juice, Troi lifts the lid and drinks from the glass
instead of sipping his straw. Did the guy suddenly develop cooties?
Troi finally gets a dress uniform in this episode. In "Manhunt"--as
diplomats come and go and Picard jumps in and out of his
dress uniform--Troi remains constant in her full-body leotard.
Does the Iyaaran shuttle in this episode bear a striking resemblance
to the miners' shuttle in "Final Mission"?
While Picard attempts to get help for himself and Voval--the
Iyaaran ambassador--a plasma charge knocks him to the ground.
He lands with his head near a rock. Then, the shot changes and
Picard suddenly lays farther away from the rock. This is convenient.
Moments later, two female hands reach out, grab Picard and drag
him off. If he hadn't moved, his head would have hit the rock.
The preview for this episode features a close-up of Picard
grasping a restriction field device located on his torso. The
actually episode, however, uses only the close-up to show Picard
ripping the device off.
Thanks to: Kymberlee Ricke of Aurora, IL Eric Rost of Omaha,
NE and Brian Scholl of Starkville, MS
Interface Star Date: 47215.5 (No cuts so far)
Gambit, Part I Star Date: 47135.2
Artifact mercenaries kidnap Picard and fake his death.
Just how famous is Picard? He's the captain of the flagship
of the Federation. Does he have his picture plastered all over
the Star Inquirer's Log every week at the checkout stands
of far flung grocery stores? Or, is he fairly anonymous? Evidently,
he's fairly anonymous because none of the mercenaries recognize
him.
Is there some reason Starfleet didn't promote Riker to captain
instead of just acting captain after Crusher declares Picard dead?
Head mercenary Baran controls the rest of the mercenaries
with a device that attaches to their necks. Using a control pad
on his belt, Baran can inflict pain on anyone. As Picard says
later in the show, "Baran's power is based on fear and intimidation."
Since Baran is vastly outnumbered by the crew, he must insure
that they do not have a chance to organize and resist him. Specifically,
for him to maintain control of the crew he must be privy to any
conversations between crew members. Yet, Picard and Riker have
an extended discussion in Riker's quarters and apparently Baran
has no listening devices installed in the room.
At the very end of this episode we hear, "Fire!"
and then see "To be continued." Does this sound familiar?
Sort of like the ending of "The Best of Both Worlds"?
After the Enterprise loses the mercenaries' ship, Data explains
that the hull is covered by an energy absorbing material, making
it virtually impossible to detect using sensors. Great, just great.
I guess this is something else we have to add to the list of things
Federation scientists haven't figured out how to make yet!
After Picard nullifies the shields on the science outpost
at Calder II, the mercenaries begin beaming up artifacts. Suddenly,
the ship rocks as it sustains a phaser blast from the Enterprise.
Later dialogue indicates that the mercenary ship had no damage.
The blast impacted its aft deflectors. So, the ship had its shields
up? During the transport of the artifacts? (These mercenaries
sure have some good technology. I wonder if we could hire them
to do seminars for Federation scientists.)
Thanks to: David M. Blakeman of Merced, CA; Yoko K. Ema
of Chicago, IL; Emma Garland of Gloucestershire, England and Barbara
Smith of Haverton, PA
Gambit, Part II Star Date: 47160.1-47169.2
Picard discovers the mercenaries are trying to assemble
an ancient Vulcan psionic resonator and thwarts their plans.
While on the mercenary ship, Riker hauls off and hits Picard.
Just after Picard flies backward and lands on the floor, he reaches
up to his face with his left hand. The shot changes to show Picard
on his back and Riker standing over him. Suddenly Picard's left
hand is at his side.
Returning from the raid on the Enterprise, Picard tosses
the recovered artifact to Baran and then punches him. Using freeze
frame, you can see that the stunt double for Baran lands with
his left hand flat against the floor. Then, the shot changes and
suddenly, the actor who plays Baran has the artifact in his left
hand.
One of the weapons used by the mercenaries at the end of the
episode is a Varon T disrupter. A small review of this weapon
might be helpful. In the episode "The Most Toys," a
collector named Kivas Fajo kidnaps Data and threatens him with
an illegal weapon called a Varon T disrupter. Fajo says only five
prototypes were manufactured and he has four of them. Then, the
fifth one shows up in "Starship Mine." The head conspirator
brandishes it. Since that one was destroyed when the head conspirator's
ship blew up, the Varon T disrupter in "Gambit, Part II"
must be part of Fajo's collection. But, didn't Starfleet confiscate
Fajo's weapons when they arrested him? So how did the mercenaries
procure a Veron T disrupter if only five were made?
Thanks to: Wells P. Martin of Stamford, CT and Paul Watson
of Humberside, England
Phantasms Star Date: 47225.7
Interphasic creatures give Data nightmares, causing him
to attack Troi.
This episode answers one of the burning questions of Trek
fandom. Namely, what does Data wear to bed? Surprise! He wears
a uniform! Unfortunately, the episode does not indicate whether
Data sleeps with his shoes on or not. In one scene, he watches
Spot while Spot sleeps. Troi enters and they discuss his nightmares.
Afterward, Data crawls in bed. Although the camera angle never
shows his feet, it appears that Data doesn't take his shoes off.
Either he wears them to bed or he took them off before he started
to watch Spot.
And speaking of sleeping, Data opens his eyes to find La Forge,
Troi and Worf standing in a little group at the foot of his bed.
They claim that they have been trying to wake him for five minutes.
How? Did they each take turns wiggling his toe? One would expect
the trio to have moved a bit closer to Data's head.
Relinquishing the care of Spot to Worf, Data tells him that
he must supply a "sand box" for the feline. Was Data
speaking figuratively? Or, is a sand box the best technological
solution that the 24th century has to offer for the acquisition
and disposal of cat poop?
This episode features a really cool looking dilithium chamber
cover that never appears again. What happened to it?
In the first nightmare of the show, scruffy workmen attack
Data and dismantle him. As they drive him to the floor, the camera
angle is set so that the viewer sees the workmen's backs and Data's
front. You can clearly see the stunt double's face when you freeze
frame. It is definitely not Data.
Thanks to: Emma Garland of Gloucestershire, England; Chris
Jaderlund of Mesa, AZ and Gregory Lea of Houston, TX
Dark Page Star Date: 47254.1
The strain of teaching the Cairn, a telepathic race, to
communicate verbally and the pent-up guilt over the death of Deanna's
older sister many years ago causes Lwaxana to fall into a coma.
Near the beginning of the episode, Troi steps off a turbolift
in a huff and marches several feet into a corridor before turning
and gruffly asking her mother if she is coming. Lwaxana has her
head in her hand, grimacing in pain. Troi immediately becomes
concerned but this begs the question: Why didn't she sense her
mother's distress sooner? Was her huffiness getting in the way
of her empathy?
Sickbay seems strangely empty at several moments during this
episode.
Troi opts to spend the night with her mother in Sickbay. At
one point, Maques, a member of the Cairn, wanders in to see if
he can help. Troi sits up in bed and orders the computer to turn
up the lights. The room lights up. Maques stares at Lwaxana. Sternly,
Troi says, "What are you doing here?" Maques then
looks at Troi. Obviously, the guy is concentrating very hard on
Lwaxana. I would have looked up the minute the lights came on.
There's a young woman who appears in many episodes. She has
a small build and short dark hair that's spiked on top. She sits
directly to Picard's right during Data's poetry reading near the
beginning of "Schisms." This woman shows up during a
reception for the Cairn in "Dark Page." She strides
across Ten-Forward in front of Riker and Worf just before Lwaxana
approaches them. Then, only seconds later, she can be seen deeply
engaged in conversation far behind Worf and Riker. True, there
is time for her to pass in front of them, spin, come back, circle
behind the two officers and find some one to speak with . . .
it just looks funny.
Myles S. Hildebrand found the wolf in the dream sequences
less than convincing. "You call that a wolf?" he observed.
"Canadian wolves are ten times that size!" (Myles is
from Niverville, Manitoba.)
Thanks to: Nathan Orr of Colorao Springs, CO; Kara Ricks
of San Diego, CA and Kevin Sadowy of Winnipeg, Manitoba
Attached Star Date: 47304.2
After capturing Picard and Crusher, Prit authorities on
the divided world of Kesprit III implant neural transcievers in
the pair, allowing the Captain and CMO to hear each other's thoughts.
After Riker makes an unauthorized contact with the Prit government,
Security Minister Loren pages the Enterprise. Riker takes the
call at one of the science work stations. Loren threatens the
Enterprise with retaliation if they continue to try to speak with
the Prit government and cuts off her communication. If you freeze
frame the tape just as Loren's pictures disappears, you'll see
that the screen doesn't have the correct reflection. The reflection
shows one officer in a red outfit and another one to the right
in a blue outfit. Yet, at the time of Loren's communication only
Riker and Data are in front of the station (Red and gold, respectively,
and Data is to Riker's left). This brings up another question.
Namely, why do the work screens on the Enterprise have reflective
surfaces? Would it be better to use a non-reflective coating thereby
reducing the glare from the overhead dome lights?
It's a bit difficult to tell because of the lighting but it
appears that Crusher starts out the show in Picard's quarters
wearing a fairly dark lipstick but ends up in the Prit cell wearing
a light one. Unless Picard strolled along to her quarters to allow
her to freshen up her make-up before beaming down to the planet,
there wasn't time for the change. (And, the Kes were waiting for
them to arrive.)
Obviously, Starfleet has great anti-perspirants. All during
the escape attempt, Picard and Crusher's uniforms show approximately
the same sweat stains and they always center around the upper
chest area, instead of the armpits.
And, what is with the skirt that Crusher wears in the last
scene of this episode? (In case you haven't seen the episode,
it has lots of big poofy fabric around the hips that hangs down
stiffly. In an attempt to add some sensuality to the outfit, the
creators cut a large pie shaped piece out of the front that almost
reaches up to Crusher's belly button.) Who in the world came up
this fashion statement? Did all the good designers die out in
the early 24th century? (My guess is that they terminally infuriated
the entire female population of the galaxy sometime around 2314.
In response, our normally gentile, fairer sex went on a rampage
and stuffed those guys into some of the outfits they had designed
and then gleefully watched them die a slow, suffocating and painful
death.)
Barbara Smith of Havertown, PA commented, "In the midst
of a very moving moment, I found myself laughing out loud as Beverly
rose from the table wearing what I thought was the tablecloth!"
(Honestly, when Crusher strutted her stuff down the hall at
the very end of the episode, I could not help but imagine a guy
in front of her waving flashlights and yelling, "Comin' through,
comin' through. Wide load, comin' through!" Sorry. That was
unkind.)
Thanks to: Kim Brocklehurst of Baltimore, MD; Megan Dyvig
of Clayton, MO and Thomas B. Massey of Lancashire, England
Force of Nature Star Date: 47310.2-47314.5
Sarova--an impatient scientist--proves that warp drive
is bad for space by blowing up her ship, causing Starfleet to
impose a warp 5 speed limit.
After a mission briefing early in the show, Picard tells Worf
to proceed with the search for the Flemming. Since the
Hekaras Corridor is 12 light years long, the Enterprise will probably
search for the Flemming using warp drive. Otherwise, it
would take them at least 12 years to complete the search. Yet
shortly after the meeting, La Forge has the warp core off-line
making an adjustment-an adjustment that Geordi reveals is simply
to improve the performance of the engines so he can boast. Does
this make sense? Why would La Forge pull the Enterprise out of
warp in the middle of a rescue operation to tweek the engines
in a way that Data describes as unnecessary?
Early in the episode, La Forge attempts to increase sensor
efficiency. To fix a simple misalignment, he and Data crawl through
a series of Jefferies tube. Aren't there "worker bees"
to do this type of stuff? Of course, if La Forge and Data didn't
have this time together, we might miss out on the witty and engaging
repartee concerning Spot. (Sorry, sorry. That was catty.)
At one point, Data orders some cat food for Spot. When he
sets it down you can see a ball of yarn behind Data. It has loose
end unraveled and waded up right next to the ball. Moments later,
Data picks up the yarn but now the wad of yarn has moved over
an inch away from the ball.
Thanks to: David M. Blakeman of Merced, CA; Ann McNeil
of Owen Sound, Ontario and Bernd Webler of Wiesbaden, Germany
Inheritance Star Date: 47410.2
A visiting scientist named Juliana Tainer surprises Data
by claiming to be his mother, former wife of Dr. Noonian Soong.
Early in the show, Dr. Tainer and Data have a conversation
in Ten-Forward while her current husband updates the geological
survey information in preparation for a plasma infusion process.
Oddly enough, the planet is nowhere to be seen in the windows
of Ten-Forward, even in a severely angled shot across the front
of Ten-Forward going to port.
Parallels Star Date: 47391.2
When his shuttle passes through a quantum fissure, Worf
begins bouncing through parallel universes.
Obviously the quantum realities are not synced together very
tightly. At the beginning of the episode, Worf gives the star
date on a personal log as 47391.2. He makes this log entry after
attending the bat'leth tournament. Then, later in the episode,
Worf views a log entry with the same stardate but in this entry
it sounds like the tournament has not occurred yet.
Speaking of time, after hearing Worf say that he doesn't remember
being mated to her, a stunned Troi asks if he remembers the last
three years--if he remembers them falling in love and getting
married. The action moves to Main Engineering and some moments
later, Worf asks Data when he and Troi married. Data replies that
the marriage occurred, "two years, one month and 12 days
ago." (Evidently, Data still doesn't have "weeks"
correctly calibrated in his time descriptions! See "Where
No One Has Gone Before.") He also says that the romance between
Worf and Troi began after his recovery from the spinal injury
on star date 45587. In addition, Data states that six months into
the romance, Worf ask Riker for his formal permission to court
Troi. Sometime afterwards, they married. Data and Troi's versions
seem to indicate a two and one half to three year period of time
since star date 45587. Unfortunately, according to our deduced
rule that 1000 star date units equals one year-as substantiated
in the NextGen Guide-less than two years have elapsed from star
date 45587 until star date 47391.2, the star date of this episode.
So . . . something's off somewhere.
One other item while we are on this subject. In the reality
described above, Worf and Troi have been married just over two
years. In a subsequent one, they have a three year-old son. (I
will let you draw your own conclusions.)
It's amazing what stress can do to a person's mind. In an
attempt to seal the quantum fissure and send everyone back to
their own reality, Worf pilots a shuttle craft towards the anomaly.
One of the Enterprises attacks the shuttle and its Captain Riker
comes on the viewscreen to proclaim the horrors of their reality.
Namely, that "the Borg is everywhere." I believe proper
grammar would call for the statement, "the Borg are
everywhere."
After one of his quantum jumps, Worf suddenly finds himself
at Tactical with no knowledge of the panel's configuration. Picard
and Riker earnestly urge him to raise the shields in time to protect
the ship from a Cardassian attack. This brings up a question:
Is the crew of the Enterprise really helpless if the person at
Tactical is incompetent? Shouldn't there be some sort of voice
override where Picard could just say, "Computer raise shields?"
Better yet, why doesn't Data just raise the shields? (He's has
done everyone's job on the bridge from his Ops station at one
time or another.)
The creators saved themselves one replicator visual effect
in this episode but created an equipment oddity in the process.
Just after Worf lets Troi into his quarters-not yet realizing
that he is married to her in this quantum reality-she orders hot
chocolate from the food replicator. The box makes the appropriate
sound effect. The light comes on and dims. Then, Troi reaches
way into the very corner of the replicator to extract her
cup. To my recollection, replicators usually materialize their
products in the center of the wall cavity, do they not?
Thanks to: Mark Carlson of Tulsa, OK; David J. Ferrier
of Washington, DC; Triona O'Dwyer of Near Cork, Ireland and Ed
Watson of Downington, PA
More season seven "un-included" nits next time.
(Unless of course I get a ton of mail decrying the release of
this material!)
CLASSIC COGITATIONS
Part of the fun of nitpicking comes from the wide variety
of opinions in the Star Trek Fan Pool. As I'm fond of saying,
I've never thought my opinion was the best or the brightest. It's
simply mine.
On the other hand, there's always a bit of trepidation
for me whenever a Guide is soon to hit the book stands. I wonder
how many unintentional errors I've made because of brain cramps,
dead neurons and the like. The Nitpicker's Guide for Classic
Trekkers has proved to be no exception to the great truism
that "to err is human." Despite several read throughs
by myself and a goodly number of proofreaders, those nasty little
nits just sneak on through!
So, here's a collection of the alternate viewpoints and
corrections that you've sent my way concerning the nits I picked
in the Classic Guide. I've listed them somewhat in the order they
were received. Believe me, there's lots more. Maybe next time
we'll talk about the tote boards and syndication cuts!
Saavik and Her Wild Emotions
Many, many nitpickers wrote concerning my distress over
Saavik's non-Vulcan-like behavior in STII: The Wrath of Khan.
Claudine Gandolfi of Yonkers, NY said, "Mister Saavik is
indeed Vulcan, but like her mentor Spock, she is only half Vulcan!
Her other half is Romulan! This was made clear in the novelized
version of the movie. I know you only deal with TV and movies
but since this is a book version of a movie . . ."
In my humble opinion, I don't consider the novelization
of the movie evidence that Saavik is half Romulan. While the ST
Encyclopedia states that a line in the script originally suggested
this fact, it also says that this line was cut and subsequent
films seem to indicate that she is pure Vulcan.
Episode Title Error Alert!
Kristen Elmore of Tucson, AZ correctly pointed out that on
page 345 of the Classic Guide I called the episode featuring Miri,
'What Are Little Girls Made Of?' when, in fact, the correct title
is . . . 'Miri'"! (Ding, ding, Phil!)
Miranda/Oberth Class Dyslexia
Denny McCallum of Bettendorf, IA informed, "In your ruminations
on ST III: The Search for Spock, you state that the USS
Brattain in the TNG episode "Night Terrors" is
a reuse of the USS Grissom model. While this miniature
did reappear several times in TNG, most notably as the Tsiolkovsky,
the Vico and embedded in an asteroid as the Pegasus,
the Brattain is a reuse of the Reliant model from
ST II: The Wrath of Khan.
Arrgh! Would you believe I made an error almost identical
to this in the NextGen Guide under my review of "The Game"?
What's In A Name?
Cyrus Forman of Charleston, WV noted, "You state in your
guide to the original series under the episode 'Day of the Dove,'
that Ardra changes herself into the Klingon devil in [the TNG
episode] 'Devil's Due'. That statement is incorrect. The Star
Trek: The Next Generation Companion states: 'Though some may
regard it as the Klingon devil, Fek'lhr as seen here is carefully
described as the guardian of Gre'thor, the hereafter where the
Klingon dishonored go after they die. This is consistent with
the fact that Klingons have no devil--a detail that was revealed
in 1969's 'Day of the Dove.'"
With all due respect to my good friend Larry Nemecek--who
wrote the ST:TNG Companion, this sounds a bit too much like splitting
hairs for my taste. You've got this place where bad boys go after
they die and this guy that's in charge of it. It sure ends up
sounding like the devil to me!
Boy, oh Boy, oh Boys in the Hall
I had a feeling I was opening a can of worms with the "Boys
In The Hall" feature in the Classic Guide. I'll just be over
in the corner while Sara and Steve speak their peace.
"I agree with you on the premise: Classic Trek is pretty
sexist. But I disagree on a point. I don't think appreciating
the forms of members of the opposite sex is sexist, as long as
it is just that, appreciating. Of course, obvious leering wouldn't
be right, but some looking is normal. As long as the looking is
confined to appreciation, without any intimidation and without
any accompanying thoughts of people as objects or whatnot, it's
okay by me. Or, maybe it is sexist. If it is, then I was wrong
to wish that Data had worn a skant, just once. Somehow, though,
I just don't think appreciating is inherently wrong. Or maybe
it's just politically correct not to appreciate." Sara Green
of Lake Elsinore, CA
"I must admit I was taken aback with your 'Boys In The
Hall' section on page 195. Throughout the book you seem to get
squeamish whenever a beautiful girl is looked at or admired from
afar. This seems very strange to your readers in the Northeast,
Phil. I have dozens of friends who enjoy your nitpicking but they
fail to understand why you (as a man) would take offense to a
normal red-blooded American heterosexual's desire of the female
anatomy. I should note that a great deal of my friends (including
my fiance) are women who think you're heading a little too close
to the edge of the Politically Correct cliff. Certainly no one
is talking about the sexual harassment of touching someone or
making absolutely lewd comments in front of other co-workers.
I don't want to generalize here, but I will say that the women
I've know in Connecticut love to hear compliments about their
looks, or their mode of dress or their nice smiles. Turning the
tables around, I love when a woman tells me I smell good, or when
a stranger says she admires my physique. Ogling men or women is
a way to let the opposite sex know you're interested in them.
At times, I admit it can be a bit off-putting, but, acceptable
or not, it's the only way the human race is going to continue
into the 24th century and beyond." Steve Emirzian of Hartford,
CT.
Me? Politically correct? Me? The one who named Troi, "the
babe in the bunny suit"? Me? The one who called Vina, "the
green Orion leaf lady," "the nimble Orion nymph,"
"the promiscuous Orion plaything" and "the titillating
Orion tease"? (snicker, snicker, snicker)
Plexiglass vs. Transparent Aluminum
George Daley of Owosso, MI wrote, "To quote a piece of
your review of Star Trek IV, 'After Scott finds a way to get a
local company to produce a sheet of transparent aluminum . . .'
This is wrong for several reasons. I refer you back to your review
of the TNG episode 'A Matter Of Time' in which you stated that
Rasmussen's theft of the items [would fail] because he lacked
the specialized materials and equipment to mass-produce it. Why
isn't the same true in STIV? Also . . . it was clearly stated
that to do the job in question it would only be one inch thick.
[The segments] are definitely more than one inch thick. What really
happened was that Scotty traded the information about transparent
aluminum for pieces of plexiglass."
This all makes sense. But didn't the guy at the plant also
say it would take a six inch slab of plexiglass to do the same
job? Those segments don't look six inches thick to me--two . .
. maybe three!
Chameloids and Unremitting Hostility
Christopher Fletcher of Iowa City, IA commented, "The
nit about the shape-shifters being mythical (Trek VI): I disagree
with you on this one. I think that Kirk is saying that he thought
Chameloids in particular were mythical, not shape shifters in
general. I also disagree with you on another nit from this movie,
the one about 'unremitting hostility.' Despite the Organian Peace
Treaty, it seems that the two sides remained pretty much in a
Cold War-type state. The proposal being made at the time of Khitomer
goes much further toward ending that hostility (but on the other
hand, Kruge [in STIII] makes reference to their emissaries negotiating
peace with the Federation . . .)
Mercury - 1, Phil - 0
Bill Kotis of East York, Ontario enlightened, "In 'Space
Seed,' you mentioned the 'HG level.' (The inches of mercury level
is at 10 HG, then moments later at 20 HG as Kirk is in the vacuum
chamber.) This, in reality, is how pressure levels in a vacuum
work. The pressure range goes from 0 HG to 30 HG (actually, 29.92
HG, the absolute vacuum point). Therefore going from 10 HG to
20 HG is evacuating the air.
The Enterprise As Cropduster
Theodore Miller of Howard Beach, NY wrote, "In 'Let That
Be Your Last Battlefield,' there's no problem with releasing the
antibacterial agent well above the atmosphere. Call it 500 miles
above an Earth-sized planet. Gravity is still about 3/4 that at
the surface. A space ship in orbit isn't beyond gravity. It's
still falling, but it is moving horizontally fast enough that
the planet's surface curves away beneath it as fast as it falls.
(Astronauts in orbits are weightless because everything is falling
at the same rate, not because they're beyond gravity.) So, if
the spraying Enterprise flies slowly over the planet, the spray
will fall down."
Race Name Error Alert!
Jeff Haugsness of Wilmezze, IL correctly pointed out that
on page 345 of the Classic Guide I state "Zeons, at first
simply primitive . . .", when I should really say, "Ekosians,
at first simply. . ."
"Everybody Remember Where We Parked"
Jim Lazar of Milwaukee, WI advised, "A couple of quick
things from STIV: The Voyage Home. You mentioned that no
one noticed the Klingon ship in Golden Gate park. You obviously
have never been in San Francisco because Golden Gate park is very
large. There are many ou-of-the-way spots where the ship could
go unnoticed for several days.
That Sly Fox Spock (Try saying that three times
real fast!)
John S. DiGianno of East Elmhurst, NY had this opinion concerning
my comments on STI: The Motion Picture, "Your fifth
Plot Oversight expresses your confusion as to Spock's report that
an object resides at the heart of the cloud. This is hardly news,
as you observe. The Vulcan's comment seems rather pointless to
you. Mon ami, you stand on ze whale and fish for ze minoows, yes?
The point here is not what Spock says, but why he
says it.
"Ever since taking the center seat, Kirk has felt a need
to compete with Decker. For his part, Will is concerned that the
admiral is out of touch and unfamiliar with Enterprise's new technologies.
The two are beginning to argue over defensive precautions while
the ship, on red alert, first confronts the powerful and unknown
foe. Just as the pair start to bluster, Spock floats this irrelevancy
into the mix. Kirk, about to reprimand Decker (again), is taken
aback and stops to wonder what the Vulcan is on about. The tension
breaks. A flash of understanding crosses Kirk's face and his eyes
shift rapidly between Spock and Decker. Thereafter, Kirk is willing
to listen to his exec and the pair resolve their dispute in a
professional manner."
Ba-dah Bing, Ba-dah Booom, Ba-dah Benga
S. E. Lieder of Tucson, AZ asks, "In the Classic [Guide]--isn't
is Dr. M'Benga. M'Binga really sounds wrong."
M'Benga is correct. No excuse for that nit. Just slipped
through.
Valeris . . . Mistress of Shadows
Jason Barnes of Springfield, MO observed, "You mentioned
that you couldn't find the silhouette in the briefing room background
[in STVI: The Undiscovered Country.] It's in one of the
long shots right at the very beginning of Spock and Kirk's conversation.
It clearly shows someone standing in the shadows next to the briefing
room windows. From the size and posture of the shadow, it could
be Lt. Valeris. But if it is, how did she gain access to a meeting
that was labelled 'classified'?"
More conspirators no doubt. Then again, why doesn't Spock
see her? Granted, I missed her but I'm human.
Rand As The Voice Of The Happy Computer
William E. Dwayer of Colorado Springs, CO noted, "I have
one nit on STI: The Motion-less Picture. Under Equipment
Oddities, you say that the computer 'happily' gives McCoy permission
to come aboard. The voice sounds suspiciously like Janice Rand,
the transporter operator in the background. The creators goofed
by not showing her saying this, but . . . oh well. 'As we say
on Earth, cest la vie,' (Kirk to Krudge, STIII: The Search
for Spock)."
Petri's Jewels
Responding to my confusion over the episode "Elaan of
Troyius" in which Petri calls a necklace most precious while
Elaan says it is made from common stones, Stephen Mendenhall of
Ann Arbor, MI suggested, "Don't take Petri's diplomatic jive
too seriously. Maybe a Troyian mining company dug them up and
an Elasian company turned them into a necklace, or vice versa.
And, Elaan could be wrong about them being common stones. The
necklace didn't look very fancy."
Missed It By "That Much"
Craig Sarantakos of Glenside, PA commented, "You state
that 'Day of the Dove' is the first episode where more than six
people beam up to the Enterprise simultaneously. However,
if you take a good look at the final scene of 'City on the Edge
of Forever,' when the landing party beams up from the planet's
surface, you'll notice the party has seven members.
No Captain's Allowed
Reflecting on my disbelief that the Romulan commander in "The
Enterprise Incident" wouldn't know what her own cloaking
device looked like, Lucius Johnson of Hollywood, CA informed,
"On atomic submarines, captains are not allowed into the
nuclear reactor area or to handle atomic weapons. Only 'authorized'
personnel may do so. This is not unusual."
Really? Captains don't have the run of their own ships
(scratching head)? Can anybody out there confirm this? By the
way, Lucius--among many other nits--also found the stupidest mistake
I made in the Classic Guide. Under the first Plot Oversight in
the review of "This Side of Paradise," I talk about
the really nice buildings the colonists have constructed in three
years and mention in particular a house with asphalt singles.
After reviewing the tape, they do look more like wood shingles.
(Sorry, sorry, sorry.)
Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
Cary Renfro of Salem, OR writes about "Return of the
Archons," I think you are mistaken when you criticize the
scene in which Kirk says 'fire!', 'but nothing comes out of McCoy's
phaser.' McCoy is acting as rear guard, pointing his phaser at
people following our heros. Both times Kirk orders phaser fire,
only people blocking our heros are shot. No phasers are fired
to the rear, no one in the rear is hit and no one in the rear
falls down."
I can accept that. But, how does McCoy know that
he shouldn't fire? Kirk tells the group to set their phasers.
McCoy compiles. Kirk says, "Fire!" To me, it looks like
McCoy thinks he's firing.
CONTINUING COMMUNICATIONS
Nitpicking. The final frontier of fandom. These are the continuing
communications of Nitpicker Central.
As always, I enjoy hearing from you. Here's a few excerpts
from your letters. I had this newsletter all laid out and Zelbob
told me he needed more space for his ad. I absolutely loathe cutting
material from the newsletter (I have to do to much of that with
the books). So, I decided to drop this to 7 point type. I hope
you can still read it!
Ex Astra Trekkia, Nitpickius
Alexander Foertch of Nuernberg, Germany wrote, "Evidently,
the founders of Starfleet Academy didn't pay much attention to
their own Latin courses, because their motto--[shown on a wall
display during Wesley's testimony in the NG episode 'The First
Duty']--says, 'Ex astra, scientia,' which is supposed to mean
'knowledge from the stars.' [Reminiscent of the unofficial motto
of the Apollo XIII mission, 'Ex luna, scientia,' 'Knowledge from
the moon.'] Unfortunately the motto would have to be, 'Ex astris,
scientia'! Why? Well, the Latin preposition 'ex' goes with the
Latin sixth case, the so-called ablative, indicating 'by means
of' or 'through.' The Latin word 'astrum,' meaning 'star' uses
the form 'astris' for the plural ablative 'from the stars.' The
seductive analogy to 'ex luna' leads to a horrible death for every
student of Latin since the form 'luna' is singular ablative and
is identical to the basic form 'luna.'"
Tea Time
Windy Dryden of London, England wondered, "In the [NG]
episode, 'Elementary, Dear Data,' Moriarty offers Dr. Pulaski
scones with her tea. Subsequently, they both refer to her eating
crumpets. Is this a cultural phenomenon? Do you Yanks think that
crumpets and scones are one and the same? As any self-respecting
Brit knows crumpets and scones and very different."
And While We're On The Subject of Moriarty . . .
Bernie Bright of Tyne & Wear, England observed, "When
Moriarty first calls for the arch, he has a short conversation
with the computer. The computer voice is obviously feminine. However,
later he addresses the computer as 'Mr. Computer.' Surely an intelligent
fellow such as he would use the address, 'Madam Computer.'"
PADDs Of Paper
David L. Freitas of S. Dartmouth, MA asked about TNG equipment,
"Why are the PADDs (those nitfy portable display panels that
they use like today's PDAs) treated as if they were paper? For
instance in 'Tapestry,' Lt. Picard delivers a report to the Chief
Engineer. Someone has to carry this PADD to another part of the
ship as if it were a piece of paper? Couldn't it just be sent
to the Chief Engineer's mailbox on the ship's computer. They have
also shown scenes with someone's desk covered with PADDs--like
one of today's executives would have paper all over his desk.
For that matter, why would someone sitting at his desk even need
to use one PADD? Doesn't he have a computer?"
Yet More Evidence of the Evil Influence of 50's Rock
'N Roll
Pauline E. Finch of Kirchener, Ontario supplied the following
interesting info: "In [the NG episode] 'Time's Arrow, Part
II,' Samuel Clemens makes a passing remark about Halley's Comet
but mispronounces it to sound like 'HAY-ley' (as in Haley Mills),
instead of 'HAW-ley' (as in the holly and the ivy.) It was only
after the 1950's rock 'n roll group Bill Haley (pron. 'HAY-ley')
and the Comets became famous that the name of the illustrious
British astonomer--after whom this celestial wonder is called--began
its slide into routine misspeaking. Samuel Clemens, moving among
educated 19th-century 'literati' as he did, would certainly not
have made such a semantic gaff."
Fireman Training 101
Kevin Tuttle of Marietta, GA noted, "Towards the end
of [the NG episode] 'New Ground,' Worf and Riker run to a biolab
to free Alexander. Their first attempt [to open the door] fails
but after some isolinear fumbling, Worf gets it open. Then, they
lie against the wall so that when the door opens, they won't get
hit by the backdraft. Worf even yells at Riker to get out of the
way. Since they seemed surprised when the door didn't open on
the first try, it's reasonable to assume they expected to gain
entry. Here's the problem: Why did Worf stand right in front
of the door when Riker tried to open it the first time [if
he understood the possibility of a backdraft]?
Tai Chi 101
Sheena Hutchinson of Aberdeen, Scotland advised, "During
the opening sequence [of the NG episode 'Clues'], we get to see
members of the crew practicing Tai Chi. Riker breaks the cardinal
rule that the straight alignment of the spine from the top of
head to the base of the spine should never be broken (Compare
what he's doing to the two extras behind him.) Wouldn't Riker
be the expert? I have been studying Wutan Tai Chi Chuan for six
years in Aberdeen under the guidance of Sifu Ian Cameron of Edinburgh.
I appreciate that only someone who knew about martial arts would
notice, but I am surprised that whoever coached the actors didn't
insure it was done right."
A Riddle For You
Christopher J. Moss of Scarborough, Ontario posed the following
riddle: "What do you get when you cross Nomad with Sargon?"
"Universal Translator" Anomolies
Callie Sullivan of Bexley, England shared, "I recommend
that everyone watching TNG in Britain put the subtitles [i.e.,
closed captioning] on--you get some great comedy moments! The
best one I've seen so far was when Riker called Troi 'Imzadi'
in [the NG episode] 'The Loss.' The subtitler didn't know what
to make of that, so put 'I'm sorry' instead! And in 'Night Terrors,'
Picard invited Data to come into his 'Radio Room'!
An Urgent Plea For Help
Jim Siterlet of Urbana, IL turned to the Guild with these
comments: "Help! I tell my friends that I remember seeing
scenes in movies when they're first released and then I never
see them again, either on TV or videotape. Have you seen this
scene from STIII? Uhura has been left behind on Earth. At the
end of the movie she shows up on Vulcan with Sarek! How did
she get there? I swear I saw this in the movie theater. Uhura
was trailed by security men to the Vulcan Embassy where she took
asylum! This was a single exterior shot. I SAW THIS! Do
you know anything about this?"
Tell ya what, Jim. This Guild is composed of some amazing
resources when it comes to all things Trek. I haven't seen that
scene but . . . what say, dear friends? Anybody know anything
about this?
It's The Star Trek Way
Stephen Mendenhall of Ann Arbor, MI ruminated, "You suggest
several times [in the Guides] that [the creators] did things the
hard way because it was more exciting. I wonder how the fans would
react if [the creators] actually characterized the Classic crew
that way--if they actually had the policy of doing things the
hard way, so they'd stay in tip-top shape, always willing to endure
any hardship...
"'Kirk to Sulu, We can get you back up to the ship now.
We've got the shuttles working.'
"'No thanks, captain. I think I'd rather get used to
the cold. Besides, the phaser is still working. I can heat a few
more rocks.'"
More "Borgs"
Mike Ballway of Evanston, IL; John Digianno of Hollywood,
FL; Sarajane Hogben of Herts, England; Danielle Leach of Berkley,
MI; David Lyons of Edwardsville, IL; Joshua Truax of Fridley,
MN and Rod Tyrell of Victoria, Australia sent along these chuckles.
I am Tweety of Borg. I did! I did attimuwate a Puddy Tat!
The Borgles' (the Prefab 4 of 5) #1 Hit: We all sleep in a
single subroutine.
I am KeBorgian of Borg. Life if futile. Death is irrelevant.
You will be assisted.
I am Borg of Borg. Redundancy is irrelevant.
I am Rod Serling of Borg. Submitted for your irrelevant approval.
Phil Farrand woke up one morning and found that all resistance
was futile. He realized he had been mysteriously transported to
. . . The Assimilation Zone.
I am Bush of Borg. Read my lips. No new assimilations.
I am Elvis of Borg. Death is irrelevant.
I am Connery of Borg. James Borg.
I am Yogi Berra of Borg. Resistance will be assimilated.
I am UPN of Borg. Prepare to be affilliated. (UPN is the Paramount
network that shows ST: Voyager. Since it is a separate
network, some viewers here in the States must endure DS9 and Voyager
playing opposite each other on the same night!)
Next time: Why American men travelling in England should
never go into a clothing store and ask the pretty young girl behind
the counter if they can purchase a pair of suspenders to replace
the ones they left at home. Oh, and the answer to the riddle is:
A Romulan cloaking device.
One last thing before I toddle off. Almost a year ago,
I told Francis Lalumiere of Montreal, Quebec that I was considering
a way to create pen-pal connections between Guild members who
wanted to correspond. Francis was looking for someone to correspond
with him in Klingon. He has waited very patiently as I ruminated
about it. The problem for me is time and lack of space in the
newsletters. However, Francis is willing to swap addresses for
Klingon pen pals. If you're interested, send a self-addressed
envelope with an international reply coupon--or postage, if you
live in Canada--to Francis Lalumiere, 2860 de Carignan, Montreal,
Quebec, H1N 2Y4, CANADA. In turn, Francis will send you the name
of another individual who wishes to correspond in Klingon. Or,
if you would like to correspond with more than one pen-pal please
include that fact in your letter.