This newletter is published quarterly (April, July, October, December)
1996 SUBSCRIPTION RATES (for postal delivery only)
United States - $10.00
Canada - US$12.50
All Other Countries - US$15.00
This newletter is also available free of charge to Guild members via email
by sending a request to: chief@nitcentral.com.
Or, by visiting the Nitpicker Central Internet Extention Office (NCIEO)
located at:
http://www.nitcentral.com
COPYRIGHT 1996 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.
Books by Phil Farrand:
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume I
(ISBN 0-440-50571-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Classic Trekkers
(ISBN 0-440-50683-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II
(ISBN 0-440-50716-2)
The Nitpicker's Guide for Deep Space Trekkers
(Release date, December 1, 1996)
September 24, 1996
Greetings Fellow Nitpickers and Proud Members of the Nitpickers Guild!
Not long now and The Nitpicker's Guide for Deep Space Nine Trekkers (DS9 Guide) from Dell Trade Paperbacks will be hitting the book shelves. It should show up around the second or third week of November. Thanks to everyone for your interest! As usual, Titan Books will handle the publishing of the DS9 Guide in the United Kingdom and Steve Ettlinger tells me that the SyQuest disk has already been sent so the book should be released there at approximately the same time as it is in the United States and Canada! As always, I hope you enjoy it! It was a lot of fun to write.
The Nitpicker Central Internet Extension Office (NCIEO) located at: "http://www.nitcentral.com" is celebrating its one year anniversary. Thanks to everyone who has come by for a visit and especially to all who have contributed. It remains a civil website, a place of intelligent discourse about Trek and other science fiction with a healthy dose of humor thrown in to insure that we never take ourselves too seriously! With the start of the third season of Voyager, we are currently offering our Brash Reflections on each new episode and this week I intend to start files on the Star Wars trilogy. There's also a weekly Ask the Chief column by yours truly where fellow nitpickers and I discuss an interesting mix of topics in an extended format that would be impractical in the world of print.
In the area of new projects, I am talking with my agent Steve Ettlinger and Dell about a guide for the Fall of 1997. Currently though, I'm finishing a rewrite of a novel that I've been working on for six years. I hope to have it completed in five weeks or so and will start the process of finding a publisher. (I have lots of stories I'd like to tell but at some point you have to get the first one out the door!) While I'm hunting for a publisher, I will probably start the next guide in early December. (Hey, it's money in the bank!) It would represent something of a departure for me in terms of subject material but I'm already having fun just thinking about it. Nothing is set in stone yet. I still have some homework to do--loose ends to tie up, a bit of negotiation here and there, a few episodes to find--but I think it will be X-traordinary. I'll let you know next time!
The Nitpickers Guild continues to grow. As of today, it has 5280 known members from 24 countries (Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Republic of China, Denmark, Germany, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Mexico, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom and USA). As you can see, we have surpassed the 5000th mark--which, of course, means that we have to have an announcement!
(Trumpet fanfare begins)
Hear ye, hear ye, both creator and critic. It is my grand and happy duty to announce forthwith that herein this day the honorable Nitpickers Guild has surpassed five thousand members. And there was great celebration heard through out Nitpickydom--so it was, so it shall be.
Upon two nitpickers of the Guild shall honor be bestow: on Maria Gilmore of Bloomington, IL for being member number five thousand and on Eric Maywar of Morrisville, PA for being the five thousandth member. (He or she who has the ears of a 4GL programmer, let him or her hear.)
These honors shall include both noble mention herein and a free autographed copy of the Nitpicker's Guide of their choice, be it the NextGen Guide, the Classic Guide, the NextGen II Guide or the upcoming DS9 Guide. (Ooo, aaah!)
Also, another milestone of sorts, letter number 7500 arrived at Nitpicker Central last week! And, the email just keeps coming in to NCIEO. Thanks again for your interest.
I had a lot of fun at Starbase 21's convention in Tulsa, OK, on the weekend of July 19-21. I had a chance to meet several members of the Nitpickers Guild and I always enjoy that! I also signed autographs next to Chase Masterson on Saturday afternoon. She plays Dabo girl Leeta on DS9 ("Explorers," "Facets," "Bar Association"). It gave me an opportunity to ask her about a particular scene at the end of "Facets" that I note under Ruminations in the DS9 Guide. Yes friends, it was as I suspected . . . she didn't know the camera was rolling. (See, now you'll have to look it up in the DS9 Guide when it comes out to figure out what I'm talking about. Maniacal laughter follows.)
Oh, before I forget, a note to Allie: Yes, in fact, we do have electrical outlets in our bathrooms over here! But, they aren't as dangerous as you might think. They are on what is call a ground-fault circuit which supposedly shuts off the electricity before anything nasty happens--supposedly.
For the next and final issue of the year, I'll have more of the material that was "liberated" from the NextGen II Guide. I am also hoping to have enough time to include a few pages of Brash Reflections from Star Trek: First Contact.
A final thought, in the "Scratching My Head" department, I turn your attention to a TV GUIDE article in the September 21-27 issue that proclaimed the "Big News" concerning Star Trek: Voyager. I quote, "Look for more humor and fun--not stories about the crew trying to get back home and failing. 'It sends the wrong message to suggest the characters don't want to be where they are,' says executive producer Jeri Taylor." To which I responded, "Huh?!" But then, I spoke with my buddy Larry Nemecek and he said the quote was out of context. (Why doesn't this surprise me?) Jeri Taylor actually meant that as long as the Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant, they were going to make the best of their situation.
Happy Nitpicking, Phil!
Still more material that was cut from The Nitpicker's Guide for Next Generation Trekkers, Volume II. As I did with the April 1996 issue of the newsletter, I've stripped out all the normal subsection headings to save space and I've included a single sentence plot description in case you can't identify the episode by its title.
The Child Star Date: 42073.1
An energy ball has its way with Troi.
Richard Smith sought a higher level of accuracy in my plot summary for this episode. On page 75 of the NextGen Guide, I stated, "The energy ball impregnates itself in Troi." Richard advised that the energy ball actually implants itself in Troi and impregnates her in the process. Then, Richard came up with an even better description. The energy ball takes on the form of a rapidly-developing fetus that grows parasitically using Troi as the host and then exits through the birth canal.
While checking over the plasma plague manifest, Pulaksi calls for Data and asks for him to come over. In the process, she mispronounces his name and a small discussion ensues over whether or not Data's feeling can be hurt. Obviously, they can because only the discussion ends, Pulaski goes back to her desk and Data stays where he is, completely ignoring the fact that she called him over!
When Picard breaks the news to the bridge crew that Troi is pregnant, the dialogue makes them look like cabbage heads. Picard, Pulaski and Troi enter and take their seats. Picard tells everyone that Troi is pregnant. Riker reacts only slightly but apparently everyone else is nonplused. Then, Picard says she is going to have a baby. Big reaction now from everyone. Does anyone else find it extremely odd that the bridge crew of the flagship of the Federation would need clarification that "pregnant" means Troi is "going to have a baby?"
Just after Troi arrives in Sickbay with Data, an outside shot shows the ship in what looks like a polar orbit. After Troi gives birth to Ian, an outside shot shows the ship in a standard orbit. (Getting a little bored up there on the bridge, are we?)
This really isn't a nit, just an observation on the way the creators of Star Trek handle the subject of abortion. To their credit, they offer both of the major perspectives. In this episode, when Worf hears the circumstances of Troi's pregnancy, he immediately recommends that the captain abort the child. Yet, all discussion stops once Troi states that she intends to carry the baby to term. In other words, Troi makes the decision. In both "The Enemy" and "The Masterpiece Society," La Forge becomes incensed at the thought that his pregnancy would have been terminate become of his blindness. In essence, La Forge is saying that he deserved to live no matter what his mother's decision.
When Picard and Dr. Pulaksi come to Troi's quarters to visit Ian, they stop in front of the door and the door bell rings. Now, this would be a very convenient feature to have. The nervous young male about to ask the young lady out for a date could simply fidget in front of the door for a few seconds and she would know he was there. However, there are other episodes where the person outside the apartment had to physically push a button to ring the doorbell. In "Allegiance," Worf strides up to the door and immediately starts jamming his finger into the control panel outside Picard's quarters. In "Remember Me," Crusher strides up to Dr. Dalen Quaice's guest quarters and does the same. Then again, maybe on the Enterprise you can set the door bell for manual or automatic. (But how do you know the setting on someone else's door?)
Thanks to: Brad Boothe of Bucyrus, OH ; Myles S. Hildebrand of Niverville, Manitoba; Gary Moldenhauer of Minnetonka, MN and Daniel J. Wigdor of Uxbridge, Ontario
Where Silence Has Lease Star Date: 42193.6-42194.7
Nagilum has his way with the Enterprise.
Over and over the crew states that there is no energy in the void. Understandably, the artists who rendered the void didn't take this statement literally. If they did, the void would be black! (Not exactly an exciting way to earn your pay for the week.) Instead, the artist fudged a bit and made the area of blackness purple and black. But this causes a nit because it means there is some form of energy present in the void. You can't see colors without light.
One moment please as I stand up for the human race. At the end of the episode, Nagilum tells Picard that they have no common ground as species, that humans are too aggressive and hostile. Excuse me. Isn't this the same Nagilum who attacked the Enterprise with a Romulan warbird, killed a crew member, made unwarranted sexual advances to Pulaksi, then suggested that the crew procreate so he could watch and finally threatened the exterminate a third to half of the crew just to investigate death? Sounds pretty agressive and hostile to me! (This really isn't a nit. A being as arrogant as Nagilum would say something like that.)
There must be an emergency medical kit built into the Conn station. (I would imagine it's sealed in a little enclosure that says, "MEDICAL PERSONNEL: Break Glass In Case Of Death.") When Nagilum kills Haskell, Pulaski's hands appear to be empty. She rushes down the ramp, dodges to the right as if grabbing something with her right hand, kneels down and instantly has a medical tricorder and hypospray in her left hand.
Just before beaming back to the Enterprise, Worf stands to Riker's right. However, when they materialize Worf stands to Riker's left. There is a cut away and sufficient time to them to switch place but doesn't this seem like an odd time and place for a dance?
Thanks to: Michael Ballway of Evanston, IL; Todd Felton of Victoria, British Columbia and Mike Milligan of Langely, British Columbia
Elementary, Dear Data Star Date: 42286.3
La Forge creates an adversary capable of defeating Data
On pages 82 and 83 of the NextGen Guide, I point out that Data removes a piece of paper created on the holodeck when--at the end of the show--Picard and Moriarty agree that matter created on the holodeck cannot be removed from the holodeck. P.T.H. Carder of Lancashire jokingly suggested that Pulaski may have carried a prescription pad into the holodeck in her purse. Moriarty, being the astute person that he is, rummaged through Pulaski's purse looking for a Derringer and found the notepad. He then used this paper on which to draw his picture Enterprise.
The Outrageous Okona Star Date: 42402.7
Okona has his way with the Enterprise's female crewmembers.
In this episode, Okona asks Data if he's ever been drunk. Data responds, "From alcohol? No, that is not possible." Of course, in "The Naked Now," Data became drunk not from alcohol but from a mutated version of water that worked on human physiology just like alcohol. Data's statement is specifically true but in a more general sense Okona is probing Data to find out what the android has experienced. Data's response almost looks like his trying to hide his behavior in "The Naked Now" with a technicality.
Thanks to: Young Lee of Baltimore, MD
Loud As A Whisper Star Date: 42477.2-42479.3
With the Troi's help, Riva turns disadvantage into advantage.
After his chorus dies, Riva refuses to help the inhabitants of Solais V. When Picard and Troi try to push him to do so, Riva storms out of the observation lounge and exits via the door on the far end. According to my sources that door leads to a turbolift. In the NextGen Guide on page 87, I wondered where Riva was going because the turbolifts operate by voice commands. Several nitpickers had suggestions. Diana Brown of San Ysidro, CA wondered if Riva happened to get a turbolift that had a control panel like the one in "Brothers." Caleb Sjogren of Indianapolis, IN thought Riva could have climbed down a Jefferies tube. And, Laura Wile of Eau Claire, WI reminded me that Riva might be able to talk but simply doesn't because he is concerned about how he sounds. Once alone in the turbolift he might be able to communicator with the computer with no difficulty.
During this same examination, Pulaksi brings up the possibility of regenerating La Forge's optic nerve and crafting living eyeballs for him with the replicator. Then she tells him that the operation may fail and if it does, he cannot go back to the VISOR. Why not? Currently, La Forge's optic nerve is dead and he has no pupils in his eyes. Clearly, he doesn't receive any information from these channels. Doesn't La Forge's VISOR connect directly to his brain? Why would fooling around with his optic nerve preclude his use of the VISOR?
Does Riva's society make any provision for the death of an interpreter? Could the Enterprise have flown back to Ramatis III and procurred a replacement? (Of course, it probably would have taken a long time for the replacements to tune themselves to Riva but at least he would have had come company during the negotiations on Solias V.)
Thanks to: Gary Molderhauer of Minnetonka, MN and John E. Sherman of Glendale, CA
The Schizoid Man Star Date: 42437.5
Dr. Ira Graves has his way with Data.
Troi seems a bit informal after she tests Data's mental health. Picard speaks with La Forge in his ready room and the counsellor strolls right in to give him the results. Then again, maybe he told her to rush up the findings.
I'm not certain this qualifies as a change premises but it is an interesting comparison. In this episode, Graves transfers himself into a computer and loses consciousness and personality. However, in "Lonely Among Us"--after beaming out into the energy cloud--Picard transfers himself into the computer system and eventually arrives at the transporter system. Data then reconstructs the captain from the pattern buffer. Yet, Picard retains his consciousness and personality after the experience.
Near the beginning of this episode, Worf receives a distress call while standing at a science station. Though this may look funny, it really isn't a problem. We must assume that a sophisticated workstation like Tactical would have call-forwarding.
Thanks to: Joshua Ethridge of Fayetteville, AR; Mark Penny of San Francisco, CA and Louise Scales of Castlegar, British Columbia
Unnatural Selection Star Date: 42494.8
Superchildren cause their elders to go prematurely gray.
As the episode begins, the Enterprise receives a distress call from the USS Lantree. While giving the bridge crew details on the supply ship, Data states that the captain's name is L. I. Telaka. When Picard authorizes the security override of the Lantree's bridge, he gives the name of the captain as "Isao" Telaka. This tripped up several nitpickers thinking that our intrepid captain had erred. Evidently, Telaka goes by his middle name. (This was a simple item on which to stumble. When Data says the captain's name it almost sounds like "Eli," leading to further confusion.
In order to prove that the genetically engineered children are harmless, Pulaski orders Data to fly a shuttle away from the ship and then beam one of the children aboard. On pages 92 and 93 I ask why Data must risk infection too. Why not beam him back to the Enterprise before beaming the boy over? Wesley R. Payne of Denton, TX wrote to assert that Data wouldn't be a risk because he was an android. (In fact, Data himself indicates that he might be susceptible.)
When the accelerated aging disease strikes Pulaski, she grabs her left elbow. Yet, after the commercial break, she gives herself a shot in the right arm with her left hand. Now if your left elbow is hurting, why would you use that arm to administer a shot? Are both her arms hurting by this point in the episode?
It may just be the camera angle but the objects inside Picard's fish tank seem to move around. As the beginning of the episode, the fish tank contains a cluster of white coral on the right side. Yet, when Pulaksi is attempting to convince Picard to let her use a shuttle, the same white coral sits in the center of the tank.
Thanks to: Jimmy Dobson, Jr. of Saratoga Springs, NY
A Matter of Honor Star Date: 42506.5-42507.8
Riker serves on a Klingon ship.
Mendon, a Benzite wearing a Starfleet uniform, joins the crew for this episode. On pages 95 and 96 of the NextGen Guide, I noted that, during "Coming of Age," the testing officer congratulated Mordok on being the first Bezite in Starfleet. Since Mendon carries the rank of ensign he has obviously complete four years at Starfleet Academy and therefore was probably in Starfleet at the time Mordok was congratulated. Several members of the Nitpicker's Guild expressed alternate viewpoints Michael Lovance of Hartland, WI suggested Mendon may have worn a Starfleet uniform just to fit in. Todd Felton cited Mendon's lack of knowledge about Starfleet regulations and procedures as proof that he wasn't part of Starfleet and stated the creators made a mistake by placing him in the uniform. (A side note here: In the Classic Trek episode, "The Immunity Syndrome," a giant space amoeba destroys the USS Intrepid and its all Vulcan crew. I assumed that Starfleet allowed ship captain's a certain latitude in choosing their personnel and setting policies. I had no trouble imagining a Starfleet vessel composed solely of Benzites that would operate very differently than one with a human captain. In addition, given the size of the Federation, doesn't a Benzite extension campus of Starfleet Academy seem reasonable?)
On page 96 of the NextGen Guide, I marvelled that Kargan gets beamed to the bridge of the Enterprise with his weapon still activated. Richard Smith of Surrey, England wondered if Klingon weapons technology ensured that they could pass through Federation transporters unnoticed. (He offered examples from "Heart of Glory" and "Rightful Heir.") In addition Paul R. Lilly of Danbury, CT suggested that the weapons scan on the transporter might be an auxiliary subsystem that must be enabled. Expecting to beam Riker aboard, O'Brien didn't enable it.
Near the beginning of the episode, the man who replaces Worf at Tactical has no pips on his collar. That would make him a crewmember. However, at the end of "Where No One Has Gone Before," Riker states that Wesley must be an officer to man a post on the bridge.
Thanks to: Jeremy Dabbs of Hueytown, AL
The Measure Of A Man Star Date: 42523.7
(No cuts made.)
The Dauphin Star Date: 42568.8
(Not cuts made.)
Contagion Star Date: 42609.1
An Iconian computer virus has its way with the Enterprise's systems.
While agreeing with me that Data did a lousy job deciphering the writings of the Iconians until he miraculously came up with the exactly the right sequence just when needed (as mentioned on page 104 of the NextGen Guide), Jessica Hall of Middlesex, England wondered if the Iconian virus--since it infected his system directly before he makes the correct pronouncement--might have actually helped him along.
On page 104 of the NextGenGuide, I express my incredulity at the fact that it takes only seven keystrokes to destroy the Iconian power source. I wonder that the programmers on Iconia hadn't "idiot-proofed" the system better. John Hobson of Bolingbrook, IL wrote to suggest that the Iconcians probably took the same approach as Unix system designers. If you can get logged on as "root" (or the "superuser") you can type around thirteen strokes and erase every file in the system! (Common sense prevents me from telling you what these command are.)
The Iconian keypad Picard uses behaves oddly. When Data tells the captain which buttons to push in what order to launch the probe (blue, amber, amber, red) and then to shut the bay doors (blue, blue, blue) the keypad is lit. But, when Picard reaches out to press the buttons the pad is suddenly dark. Why did it shut off?
Also, keying in the first sequence, Picard hits the blue button, which lights up and stays lit. Then he hits the amber button, which lights up and goes off. Then he hits the amber button again and it lights up and stays on. And, finally he hits the red button which lights up and stays on. Question: why did the amber button go dark between strokes? How did it know Picard would hit it again? The blue button stayed lit. The red button stayed lit. Are all the commands that start with blue followed by a double amber? (Well, we know that closing the bay doors requires a triple blue but maybe that command isn't active at this point.) The same type of problem occurs a short time later when Picard closes the bay doors. Somehow the keypad intuitively knows what buttons Picard will press before he presses them!
When the Enterprise arrives at Iconia, Data and Worf scan the surface, Picard stands in the center of the bridge and Riker walks up behind him. From one camera angle, Riker stands behind Picard. From another, Riker stands off to Picard's side.
Thanks to: Mark Bannister of London, England and Ben and Jyl Hunt of Fayetteville, NC
The Royale Star Date: 42625.4
Data rolls the dice to get baby a new pair of shoes.
In the NextGen Guide, on page 109, I wondered why Data would need to explain the rules of shooting craps to poker aficionado William T. Riker. I thought he should have a passing familiarity with other games of chance, being such a fan of poker. Wesley R. Payne of Denton, TX wrote to say that he enjoys poker and blackjack but knows little of other card and dice games.
And, speaking of the Data's one-handed cut of the deck of cards, use your freeze frame to identify the cards on the bottom of each half of the deck. You may find that both halves contain the queen of spades as their bottom card!
Just after the away team finds the remains of Colonel Richey, the crew of the Enterprise reestablishes contact. As Riker speaks, Data's hand travels half way to his combadge and then slowly descends. It looks like Brent Spiner thought he had a line of dialogue and was going to hit his communicator.
After entering the lobby of Hotel Royale, Data gazes at his tricorder. The away team engages in a bit of banter and, after several moments, Data puts the tricorder away. Then, Riker speaks with the desk clerk and the away team gets their room assignments and a few complimentary chips. They walk into the center of the room, Data pulls out his tricorder and announces that none of the individuals emit life signs. Wasn't Data looking at his tricorder when they came in? Wouldn't it make sense to sweep the area to see if it is as it appears? Did Data simply forget that to check for lifesigns?
When the away team enters the revolving door that leads to Hotel Royale, Data carries a tricorder in his right hand but, by the time he steps into the lobby, the tricorder has jumped to his left hand. (This one is borderline. There is barely enough time for him to switch hands. After all, Data is a really fast android.)
Thanks to: Hilary Homer of London, Ontario; Natalie F. Houck of Indianapolis, IN and Douglas Scott of Arlington, TX
Time Squared Star Date: 42679.2
Picard talks to himself as a vortex tries to swallow the ship.
On pages 111 and 112 of the NextGen Guide, I wondered that Picard could simply reach up to a box in the shuttlebay and extract a phaser when he and Riker had to go to the "Weapons Room" in "11001001" to find a pair of phasers. Diana Brown of San Ysidro, CA suggested that access to the shuttle bays might be restricted to authorized personnel and therefor it would be safe to place the readily available phasers in that location.
The title of this episode is wrong in the NextGen Guide. The episode is incorrectly labelled, "Times Squared." (Ron Hutcheson of E. Missoula, MT informed me of this first.)
Data spends a fair amount of time scowling at Riker's concoction and does not taste it. Does this seem right? (Or, he is merely demonstrating the sophistication of his human emulation subroutines?)
Data continues to demonstrate the sophistication of his human emulation subroutines as the episode wears on. While working with La Forge in attempting to restore power to the shuttle, Data furrows his brow (no doubt accessing his "furrowed brow" subroutine) and scratches the right side of his face. (Actually, as Sean Wallace of Rochester, NY pointed out, this doesn't look like a "To appear more human, scratch occasionally" subroutine so much as it looks like a "Man this make-up sure does itch" movement!)
Reappearing on the bridge following the dispatch of his future self, Picard A strides down the ramp to his chair. Watch the turbolift doors. They slam shut, bounce open and then meekly close again. (Pulled a bit too hard on that rope, did we?)
(I'll grant you this is a fairly minor point, but for the sake of completeness . . .) When Pulaksi leaves the shuttlebay with Picard B, Troi and Picard A have a small discussion. At one point Troi--who is facing Picard A--says that Picard B is the same as the on she is "standing next to." In reality, Troi is standing in front of Picard but I supposed you could stretch the meaning of "standing next to" to include the position of this pair as well.
Data refers to the energy vortex as a "mass of energy." That description is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it?
These shuttlecraft have incredible paint jobs. Picard looks at a small smudge near the nose of the shuttlecraft and pronounces that it looks like the result of an antimatter explosion. Granted, Riker says the shuttle must have been just "out of range," but doesn't it seem like anything close enough to sustain any type of damage from an antimatter explosion would have more than just a grease spot?
The Picards leave Sickbay (on Deck 12) and go to Shuttlebay 2. Of course the next question must be: Where is Shuttlebay 2? According to the door signage in "Unnatural Selection," Shuttlebay 3 is on Deck 11 and since Shuttlebay 2 and Shuttlebay 3 are horizontally aligned on the yoke of the Enteprise, one could make a fairly safe guess that Shuttlebay 2 is on Deck 11. However, when the Picards board the turbolift (on Deck 12 with their desired destination stated as Deck 11), the motion indicator light appears to show that the turbolift is going down! (Did some kid get on the turbolift and tell it to stop on every deck before jumping off?) Then, the Picards engage in an extended conversation while the motion indicator shows them passing several decks as the car travels vertically. Amazingly enough, when the doors pop open, the Picards are in the right location!
Thanks to: Simon Blake of Wigan, England; Geoffrey Cook of Hammond, IN; Emma Garland of Gloucestershire, England; Darrick B. Hom of Oakland, CA and Sean Wallace of Rochester, NY
I'm sure most of you have seen Independence Day by now. As promised in the last newsletter, here's a portion of the material that was sent in by members of the Nitpickers Guild after seeing the movie. Unfortunately, space did not permit the inclusion of all the material. It was tough to pick which nits to print but these seemed like strong at the time!
For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I'm about to spoil it for you. Independence Day features an alien invasion on Earth. The aliens have a huge mothership that dispatches city-killers. Each is fifteen miles in diameter and can wipe out an entire city with one blast. Thankfully, the humans manage to figure out how to introduce a virus into the aliens' computer system that disables their shields--allowing the human to disable the aliens' ships for a short time. Note: All of the following nits are really just Brash Reflections, some of them may be incorrect.
Everybody up to speed? Good! Let's start off with a few from yours truly.
First of all . . . fun movie! I recommend it! Exciting. Some funny lines. Somewhat predictable in the plot line, but hey, aren't they all? Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous graphics. The destruction of the cities is spectacular! The battle scenes are really complex and well executed.
Just before the President speaks with the nation, Levinson stands in a control room in New York. Apparently, he works for a cable company and the wall of monitors behind him shows the available cable shows. Oddly enough, when the President begins to speak the wall of monitors somehow knows that it should change configuration to combine the monitors so that three larger versions of the President appear, flanked by monitors in their normal configurations. Even more stunning, the wall of monitors apparently can tell when the President has reached his most dramatic statements because the monitors somehow automagically combine into a large movie style screen that just happens to select just the right section of the television feed that features the President's face! (Since it's a television feed, the aspect ration of the screen will be close to a square. On a theater screen, you've got an elongated rectangle.)
My favorite great line from the movie came after Hiller punches the alien, "Welcome to Earth!"
These Hollywood guys need to get out more and actually do some of the stuff that they portray. To demonstrate how he can drop the aliens' shields, Levinson has a military man shoot twice at a Coke can positioned on the alien fighter in room at Area 51. I didn't get a good look at the pistol but it is either a 9 millimeter Baretta or a Colt .45 caliber. No one in the room covers their ears when the gun goes off. No one even flinches! I have a 9 millimeter and when that thing fires, it's sounds like a cannon! I have a hard time believing that Mr. "Save the Earth" Levinson--civilian that he is--wouldn't jump just a little.
My biggest problem with the movie, however, was the computer virus that saves the day! An Earth guy using what looks like C or Pascal (it went by too fast) writes a computer virus for an ALIEN computer system and logs onto the mothership's operating system (faster than you can get on AOL according to my nitpicker buddy Darrin Hull) and uploads this virus and it does just what it's supposed to do the FIRST time! Does this seem plausible? I know that the guys at Area 51 supposedly studied this craft for decades by Doctor Okun admitted that the displays on the craft only lit up when the mothership arrived. So, these guys have been studying a powerless computer for decades and then Levinson comes along and they are able to write a computer virus in a few days? As a former freelance computer programmer, I find this highly unlikely! (Several nitpickers have written to say that this doesn't seem that implausible to them. My response has been: I used to hack code for a living. Talk to a real programmer about this and see what they think. Not a database programmer, not a macro programmer, not a consultant, talk to a real live bit-banger who has written system-level code, preferably in assembler--better yet, manually optimized assembler--maybe even manually assemble machine code! Talk to one of those guys and see what they think about this whole idea of writing a computer virus for a completely alien operating system that only exists in a powerless computer! Insert hacker grunt here.)
Near the end of the movie, a city-destroyer alien positions itself directly over Area 51. Now remember, this sucker is fifteen miles in diameter. Amazingly enough, when it falls to the ground it misses Area 51! (Darrin Hull commented during the battle scene that the people at Area 51 would never be able to dig out after that thing dropped on them but luckily it somehow managed to shift seven and a half miles to the right or left before it hit the ground.)
Michael D. Breen: The dog in the tunnel is a classic DIETS moment. It's a real thrill, but completely impossible. (Note from Phil: The scene in question has a shock wave of flames approaching this tunnel. Jasmine--Hiller's girlfriend--her son and their dog are inside the tunnel looking for refuge. Jasmine gets a mechanical room door open and ducks inside. The dog jumps in at the last moment. The door stays open. Now friends, if I've got my physics right, the reason that the shock wave is expands is because the pressure on the back side of the wave is higher that the pressure outside the blast area. The pressure wave doesn't know it's in a tunnel and is supposed to go in a straight line. All it knows is there is an area of lower pressure beyond it and it is rushing to fill that area of lower pressure. So why don't the flames jump inside the mechanical room!?)
Also on the other subject of the computer virus infecting the alien's systems, how exactly did the alien computer know how to create the Jolly Roger and Ominous Laugh on their screens? Yeah, it was a really cool moment (Stupid Hacker Tricks save the World!) but even more logically impossible than the virus in the first place (my personal opinion is that Levinson played some Stupid Hacker Tricks with binary strings from the attacker's computer so it'd be more compatible with their systems).
Matt Cotnoir of Coventry, RI: If you were an alien who was trying to take over the world, and decided to attack New York City, where would you strike? The Empire State Building? Of course not. I would think that the UN would be higher up on the priority list. After all, it's the closest thing we have to world government.
Mark Bowman: Concerning the tunnel you mentioned in the recent posting. How weak are the doors in the tunnel anyway? The woman was able to kick it open with only a few kicks. Those doors are normally a heavy metal material and kicking would not work on them.
Joe Pintar of New Hartford, NY: Early in the film, the destroyers use a beam coming from the side to destroy a helicopter. Yet this beam is never used in either fighter attack. Why not? (Answer: Then all the pilots would be dead, the aliens would win, and the audience walks out in a huff at a movie with an unhappy ending).
Does the alien look somewhat like across between those found in the Alien and Predator films? It does to me. It has tentacles just like Alien and body armor like Predator. And on the subject of other movies, the assault on the destroyer reminded me of the assault on the Death Star in both Star Wars and Return of the Jedi. The scene where Will Smith is being chased by the alien fighter through what look like the Grand Canyon reminded of both the trench in Star Wars and the asteroid scene in Empire Strikes Back. The destruction of the destroyer reminded me of the destruction of the huge Star Destroyer in Return of the Jedi. The destruction of the mother ship reminded me of the destruction of the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. One more thing, a group of hostile aliens who meet their end because of a simple virus, sounds like War Of The Worlds to me. (Note from Phil: My nitpicking buddy Darrin Hull noticed the similarities as well. He thought they were homages though.)
Paul Steele of Springfield, VA: Why don't any of these pilots suffer the effects of high G loads? These guys are pulling very tight high speed turns without so much as a grunt. I fly AH-64 Apache attack helicopters in the Army. Although I can only normally pull 2 G's, I know its uncomfortable. Furthermore, I have conducted joint missions with Air Force fighters. I can tell you that you might as well not even try to talk to these guys when they're pulling G's. They can barely grunt out words! Early on, Harry Conick's character pulls a high G turn and has troubles, but they were poorly depicted. His head should have slammed against the seat back, he should have started his anti-G grunting (a physical exercise where the pilot bears down and grunts in order to force breathing past the G-load and prevent the pooling of blood. When this fails, he would fall unconscious.
John Hardison of Washington, DC: The fireball has many problems. The least of which is the path of the flame and the open door. Even if Jasmine had closed the door, all the oxygen would have been sucked up by the fireball to feed the flame, unless that was a vacuum sealed door she kicked in. There are other problems as well. Notoriously absent from the devastation scenes, and most importantly the Air Force One shot of the plane narrowly escaping the fireball, is the shockwave. Who cares about the flames? The shockwave moving in front of any force like that is moving at the speed of sound.
Donald Carlson: Boy, the aliens sure have terrific security. They let a fighter missing for 40 years fly right into the mothership no questions asked. Guess nobody on the homeworld ever heard of transponders, and everybody was too busy preparing for invasion to get on the radio and ask a couple questions, like "Hey you there in the old series 1000 Saucer, what gives?"
Having lived in Houston, the scene showing the street signs "South Houston" and "University of Houston" - these signs do not exist in this manner. This would have to be on the Gulf Freeway, less than a mile from the center of downtown. The ship was fifteen miles across, so the armored personnel carrier would have been almost directly underneath the destructor ship. It would have been vaporized by the nuclear blast, yet it and the crew are able to give a report of the ship surviving (not to mention the view of the ship is from a side angle, placing its location over 7 miles from any possible University of Houston exit on the Gulf Freeway.
Rick Sheridan of San Francisco, CA: Also, in the end, the flaming hulks of the alien ships crash to Earth. Shouldn't there be alien survivors? Don't you think reinforcements should arrive to get them?
Lee Lorenz of Fenton, MI: Was Hiller walking on the Bonneville Salt Flats when he was dragging the alien body and met all those RV's? Sure looked like it. (Note from Phil: See Daniel Case's nit below to explain Lee's wonderment.)
Michael Ash: In the first scene on the moon, a large shadow is cast by the alien ship. Since there is no atmosphere to bend light, those shadows should have been almost completely dark.
During both the first and second counterattacks, the Hornets all carried AMRAAMs and sidewinders, but these are air to air weapons. They were useful against the alien fighters, but large bombs should have been used against the large ships, since the small warhead of the missiles did not do much damage.
The way to destroy the city sized ships is to detonate a nuke in their primary weapon after it opens. Except that the shields are only down for a few minutes and it was just chance that the ship over Area 51 opened its weapon. Why would all the other ships in the world do the same thing at the same time?
Craig Russell of Springfield OR: [Just for the sake of argument, let's say that Hiller and Levison could fly the fighter to the mother ship,] these aliens communicate by telepathy, remember? They should have seen the attack coming and planned against it!
Roger Sorensen: It seems that the big nit with this movie is the virus upload scene but consider this also: the aliens on the mothership either haven't upgraded their OS for 40+ years, or they've taken back-compatibility to an extreme. Imagine being able to interface your desktop system with ENIAC!
That scene with the pop can brought to mind a line from Dune: The slow blade penetrates the shield. I was half-expecting the crop duster bi-plane to end up saving the day. I can just picture it launching a missile.
John Latchem: This was a great movie. Now on to business. The plaque on the moon. There is a plaque on the LEM leg, but I don't know if there couldn't also be one on the surface (as shown in this movie). The creators used a sound bite of Armstrong reading from the plaque, so they should at least know that Armstrong began his reading by saying, and I am paraphrasing, "I am reading from the plaque which is on the leg of the lander." Also on the moon, why is there dust floating around? Couldn't the dust only float around in atmosphere? Is the gravity from the alien ship pulling it up?
Kevin Weiler: In the scene where Hiller and Levinson are flying out of the Mother Ship in their alien fighter, and Levinson sees that the doors are closing on them, he begins saying, "Must go faster, must go faster." This is very reminiscent of Goldblum's role as Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park when Sadler, Malcolm, and Muldoon are being chased by a T-Rex in the Jeep.
Robert J. Woolley: As usual, medical nits bother me the most. In particular, why didn't those stupid doctors operate on the First Lady when they diagnosed her with internal bleeding?! She wasn't so bad off that she had lost consciousness, and they had what looked like a full medical facility there (hospital bed, IV lines, monitors, waiting rooms, etc.). At first I thought maybe they didn't have a surgical suite and surgical equipment, but NO, they can operate on the ALIEN but not on the president's wife!
Also, a ship with 1/4 the mass of the moon is just outside our atmosphere. This would cause massive tidal waves. But despite much of the action taking place in the L.A. area, not once do they show surfer dudes out trying to catch the monster waves!
Donald Carlson: [Concerning Roger Sorensen comments that he half expected the crop duster bi-plane to end up saving the day,] I read in Entertainment Weekly that originally the Randy Quaid character DID fly his crop duster against the alien ship! After test screenings showed a negative response to this scene, the makers when back and reshot the scenes with Quaid in an F-18! (Note from Phil: It truly boggles the mind that the creators of this movie actually thought the audience would respond positively to this in the first place!)
"[Concerning Kevin Weiler's comment that Levision saying 'Must go faster' sounded like Jurassic Park,] this is on purpose. ID4's director had Goldblum use the same words his character used in Jurassic Park while filming the scene (they used other combinations, but apparently the makers liked these words best). Again, this is from Entetainment Weekly."
Philip Blaiklock: Another thing, how did the Roswell Ship GET there to earth the first place? In 1947, it obviously had no mother ship in orbit, and those alien fighter ships DO seem to be rather short range, unlike the mother ship. It must have been on some scouting/surveying mission I guess. Maybe a larger ship was stationed just outside the solar system?
Daniel and Elizabeth Case: Several times, this movie shows people traveling across the Bonneville Salt Flats on their way to Area 51 and implies the two are adjacent. I've never been out there but the way I read a map, Groom Lake (Area 51) is in southern Nevada near Las Vegas and the Salt Flats are in central Utah. That's a pretty long hike even when you're not dragging a dead alien along on your parachute.
Also, when Air Force One narrowly avoids the fireball that detonates Washington, where is it taking off from? The quickness of the helicopter trip suggests it's National Airport, in which case the trajectory of the detonating fireball would be incorrect because National's runways would be facing it broadside on. If it were Dulles or BWI, they should be out of danger, because the radius of the LA fireball seems limited to the central city area, and both those airports are well beyond that distance from the White House.
And lastly, when they were doing the alien autopsy, were you looking for the guy from Fox TV filming it? Or even Jonathan Frakes in the background?
Francis Lalumiere of Montreal, Quebec: When Hiller and Levinson try to get out of the mothership, how come Hiller (who's had 10 minutes of experience flying this thing) can evade three ALIEN pilots who's been trained to pilot these ships?
Maria Gilmore of Bloomington IL: Something that very much did not make sense to me in the film was the way the medical team was totally isolated when they cracked open the alien. Not the "biocontainment chamber," that would make sense, not to risk contamination of the atmosphere by who-knows-what, but the fact that these folks were all by themselves, UNOBSERVED. You telling me that there wouldn't be some real-time outside monitoring of everything happening in that room? That the procedure is being taped is mentioned, but that doesn't make it. Obviously nobody was watching the team, because the way they call Doctor Okun's name upon approaching the chamber indicates nobody has a clue that the alien's taken everybody out.
Philip Blaiklock: Okay, just how WERE Will Smith & Goldblum able to survive the shockwave from the exploding mothership?" (Note from Phil: They're just that good.)
Shane Tourtellotte of Westfield, NJ: When the Big Mama ship is located approaching Earth, it's described as being 550 kilometers across, with a mass a quarter that of the Moon. The Moon is roughly 3500 kilometers in diameter, so Big Mama is less than a sixth the length of the Moon. It is also smaller in its other two dimensions than in length. I'll be charitable and say it has one four-hundredth the Moon's volume, once you account for all three dimensions. To have a quarter of the Moon's mass, the ship must now have one hundred times its density. The Moon is about 3.5 times denser than water, so that makes it 350 times for the ship. The densest element, osmium, is about 19 times denser than water, so if this spacecraft were solid osmium all the way through, it would have around an eighteenth the mass it needed. It's not all osmium, and it's definitely not solid all the way through. Run the numbers, and it's apparent we pitiful humans fouled up from the start with these guys. (Note from Phil: Actually, I thought the movie said the saucer was only 150 kilometers across. Of course . . . that would just make the problem worse!!)
The long shot of the Empire State Building exploding is impossible. The Empire State Building would have to be above a T, where street intersects street, to be visible as it is when it goes kaboom. It isn't. It's on a normal city block, taking up about half of it.
Has anybody noticed that all the airplanes we throw against the alien destroyers are the same model? Specifically, the F-18. This made it easy for the Computer Generated Image workers, only having to put several hundred copies of one type of plane on screen. It also blew believability farther out the window. These are the remnants of our whole Air Force going against the invaders. Wouldn't they have every variety of fighter plane in the mix, plus some bombers and attack helicopters? I don't believe the bad guys wiped out all our other kinds of airplanes, and left us that many F-18s.
Francis Rogers: David Levinson announces at one point there is only about six hours before the Alien countdown ends. When he shows the President the Countdown in his timer at the White House, there's barely a half hour to go. Are you telling me Levinson managed to: bicycle to his father's place, drive all the way from NYC to Washington, in spite of what is probably the mother of all gridlocks surrounding the City, get to the White House, talk to his ex-wife and explain the situation, and have her inform the President in barely five and a half hours? I don't think so.
Jason Gaston: With the release of Independence Day, or "ID-4," I hear that other movies are in a rush to shorten their title to increase box office draw such as Star Trek: Generations - "1701D-BOOM," Kingpin - "10-PIN," Clueless - "4-SURE," Showgirls - "ID-17 (or older)," and Forrest Gump - "IQ-0" (This is just a joke of course.)
Nitpicking. The final expression of Fandom. These are the continuing communications of Nitpicker Central
I always enjoy hearing from you. Here are some excerpts from recent letters. But first, a correction and a funny from a previous newsletter.
There's Reticular and Then There's Reticular
In the July 1996 newsletter, on page 4, under the episode, "Skin of Evil," I mentioned that Crusher tries "direct reticular stimulation" on Yar and the fact that one of our nitpicker wrote to say that "reticular" is a generic term that describes cells that collect foreign material from the blood stream. She didn't understand what good stimulating this system would do.
Pam Van Allen of Memphis, TN wrote, "I really enjoyed reading the last Nitpicker's newsletter. Here's my response to one of the nits. As a clinical psychologist, I have a passing familiarity with the human nervous system."
"There is a brain structure called the 'reticular formation' which determines the degree of arousal, or wakefulness of the organism. When I saw this episode, I always assumed they were stimulating the reticular formation and not the reticular cells of the blood stream."
Robert Wooley concurred, stating "reticular" simply means "web-like" and there are reticular formations of various kinds all over the body that perform radically different functions.
Ah, The Joys of Sharing a Common Language!
In the April 1996 newsletter, on page 5, I reproduced Matt Cotnoir's comments concerning my bad grammar in the NextGen II Guide. Specifically, Matt took umbrage at my use of the phrase, "us nitpickers wouldn't." Matt correctly pointed out that a person wouldn't say, "Us wouldn't," he or she would say, "We wouldn't" (at least in America). I noted that the bad grammar is intentional at times to give the Guides a folksy, down-home feel. Allie Brightwell of Hampshire, England had a different take on the matter. (This is all in fun, by the way.)
Allie reacted, "What's wrong with 'Us wouldn't'? Matt ought to try Somerset and Dorset. It's common usage there! And the motto of (bother, forgotten where) . . . It's the coat of Arms of the New Foresters--'Three hogs regardant'--and the motto, 'Us wunt be drov.' Or the rhyme:
'Grintie, grintie, grunt;
'Us be arl tew blunt
'Naw use Hampshire hogs
'But to show the way to bogs.'"
Isn't this fun? One other thing while we are on the topic. Just a little tidbit of information that my American readers should keep in the back of their brains when travelling abroad or in Canada. If you are in a restaurant, never ask for a napkin, ask for a serviette. Never mind why. Just trust me on this There are many places in the world where 'napkin' doesn't mean what you think it means! (I apologize for any offense that I may have caused to my gentle readers in other lands by even bringing up the subject. Someone has to tell them!)
Murphy and the Television Programming Department
Jeshua Fanklin of Modesto, CA wrote, "I don't know where I read it but something I read said that 'Unification I' was actually made after 'Unification II'. You said thankfully even though TV stations show 'The Ensigns of Command' before 'Evolution,' and 'Skin of Evil' before 'Symbiosis,' etc., they don't show 'Unification II' before 'Unification I.' The main station that shows Star Trek: The Next Generation is a Fox station [here in Modesto]. Just recently, it showed 'Unification II' before 'Unification I'."
For those of you who are completely confused at this point, Unification II was produced before Unification I. If you show the episodes strictly in production order--as apparently this station did-- you get to see part two before part one!
The Hottest Ship's Counsellor Known to Starfleet
Robert J. Wooley of St. Paul MN, a medical doctor, advised, "In 'Genesis,' Troi keeps complaining about how cold she feels. When Crusher checks her in sick bay, she says that Troi's temperature has dropped 8 degrees. If this is the case, Troi should feel hot, not cold!
"To convince yourself of this, think of what happens when you get a fever. First, you feel freezing cold. This happens because your hypothalamus has decided your body needs to be at a higher temperature, so it makes you feel cold to induce shivering and prompt you to do things like bundle up, to retain heat. Then when the fever breaks, and the temperature is coming down, you feel hot, which causes sweating and induces you to remove clothing layers to cool down more quickly.
"In short, contrary to intuition, when your temperature is going up, you feel cold, and vice versa. So, as Troi's temperature drops eight degrees, she should be boiling hot!"
Score Another Point for the Creators
Kurt P. Hotelling of Franklin, NC corrected, "In your Nitpicker's Guide for Classic Trekkers, page 193, you [wonder why the phaser that Nona holds doesn't fire]. Okay, buddy. You missed it. Understandable too, because It is a wonderful subtlety of superior direction lost on 99.99% of the viewers. First, let us review the weapon in question as per the Star Fleet Technical Manual: Nona's thumb runs over the following the electron aspirator pile, the trigger, the force indicator dial and the force setting wheel.
"The camera follows her hand movements very carefully but only for a few frames. If you will train your beady eyes on the phaser for that fleeting moment, you will see that when she rolls her thumb across the force setting wheel, the electron aspirator pile retracts! This moment has always stood out in my memory as subtle genius. Look for the shot when Nona announces to the villagers that she has brought them victory. You will see the aspirator pile snap shut. When the switch in ON, the aspirator pile extends upward, looking like a small ramp.
"The force setting wheel is also the ON/OFF switch, much like the volume control on a portable radio. After all, we wouldn't want one of those things going off while it's on out belt or in our pocket, would we?
"Nona switched it of. Simple. And the explanation was there for those with the eyes to see."
Very good, very good. I checked the tape. Kurt is right. It's there!
Of Chicken and Lips
Sandra Wise of Vancouver, British, Columbia--offering her own interpretation of why Elaan's dinner in "Elaan of Troyius" included a green chicken leg--stated that the royal woman was no doubt dining on the rare and delicate Orion Chicken (which, as everyone knows, is green.)
And speaking of Vina, Sandra also had these comments, "Why would the Green Orion Slave Person ("The Cage" et al) wear ruby red lipstick, when forest green, or even black, would be both more logical and more becoming? Come to that, why does green-blooded T'Pring ("Amok Time") wear pink lipstick? Her natural lip color should be pale green. So should Spock's--but no doubt he wears pink lip gloss to go with his gray eye shadow."
Alas, alack, I am forced to point out that no where in Trek does it establish that Vina the Green Orion Slave Person was every schooled in logic, color coordination or even fashion. Her principal gift was noted only as having the ability to drive men wild. However, I am sadly unable to find any logic in Spock wearing pink lipgloss!
He Obviously Loves Her For Her Brain
Josh Miller of Gouveneur, NY noted, "In 'Eye of the Needle,' the Doctor says to Kes that he'll have to run a full neural scan to see how she learns so fast. Obviously, the Doctor isn't using Energizer batteries because his are low. He did a full neural scan three episodes ago in 'Time and Again.' And, what a lovely brain she has!"
To Order: Dial 1 800 KAHLESS-COOKS
Kristi Aulenback of North Pekin, IL wondered, "Doesn't it seem strange to you that Worf ("I'm not only a Starfleet officer, I'm also a Klingon warrior.") make time to bake Wesley a pound cake? He must have gotten the recipe out of the Warrior's Cookbook--gagh, heart of Targ, Tarvokian pound cake and 100 ways to cook with prune juice."
I'm figuring that you have to beat someone up as you are baking this cake just to give the activity a warrior feel. (Why else would it be call a . . . Never mind, bad pun.) And for those of you who are wondering if Worf just replicated it, he does tell Wesley, "I made it myself."
ABC World News To-nitpick
Tom Elmore of Myrtle Beach, SC wrote, "I thought you might appreciate this. On the July 7th edition of ABC's World News Tonight Media Analyst and frequent Nightline correspondent Jeff Greenfield actually engaged in a bit of nitpicking in front of several million viewers over the film Independence Day.
"His two biggest nits--which I'm sure [members of the Guild] found as well were: Despite mega-traffic jams, panic and riots Jeff Goldbloom and Judd Hirsch are still able to drive to Washington in a rather quick period of time. And, isn't it wonderful that alien technology is compatible with American laptop computers?
"It looks like you have truly started a trend and/or a craze if national TV networks will devote a part of their newscasts to nitpicking a movie!"
Well . . . I'd love to take credit for the whole nitpicking thing but it was going strong a long time before I ever sat down at my computer to write the first Nitpicker's Guide. I will, however, take some credit for popularizing the sport!
Voyager's First Contact
Sean Corcoran of Clifton, VA observed, "This could be the first nit from the new movie Star Trek: First Contact. In the Coming Attractions previews, I noticed a ship that looked a lot like the Voyager. When I taped the trailer off the Coming Attractions show on the E! cable network, I freezed-framed to the ship. It is in fact an Intrepid-class starship, fighting a Borg ship. The registry is clear: NCC-74656, that of the Voyager. At a recent Star Trek convention, I talked to an editor of Starlog who told me that it wasn't the Voyager. I didn't argue with him but I know it's the Voyager because of the registry. This means that either the Voyager will encounter the Borg (which the Starlog guy denied), or somehow the Voyager transported itself back to Earth."
No doubt Janeway came back to get the new, updated hand phasers because Starfleet Armaments was giving a big discount to anyone who turned in their old-style phasers. (See the next nit)
Out With the Old, In With the New
David Michel of Toronto, Ontario advised, "During the first season of Voyager, the crew carried the same style hand phaser that was used on DS9. DS9 changed it's hand phasers for it's fourth season to a new curved style. Although Voyager is 70,000 light years from home and supposedly has no contact with Earth or the Federation their hand phasers miraculously changed to the new curved style."
I would love to be able to confirm this but I'm watching Voyager on fuzzy TV. Sounds like a great nit!
Bond and Earthquakes
Alan Hewitt of Portsmouth, United Kingdom wrote, "In 'Our Man Bashir,' Bashir's program is set in 1963. However, Bashir uses the term 'tectonic plates' when discussing Dr. Noah's dastardly plan. Unfortunately, the term wasn't used until 1967, first by W. Jason Morgan of Princeton. Definite anachronism there folks!"
Klingon Pen-Pals (Honestly!)
Two years ago, Francis Lalumiere of Montreal, Quebec wrote to say that he was looking for someone to correspond with him in Klingon. He waited very patiently for almost a year as I ruminated about it. At that time, I told him the problem for me was time and lack of space in the newsletters. (It still is.) In response, Francis said he would be willing to swap addresses for Klingon pen pals. In the Spring-ish 1995 Newsletter, I mentioned that if anyone was interested in corresponding in Klingon, he or she could contact Francis. And, so began the Klingon Relay Station.
I thought it might be time to mention it again! If you're interested, send a self-addressed envelope with an international reply coupon--or postage, if you live in Canada--to Francis Lalumiere, 2860 de Carignan, Montreal, Quebec, H1N 2Y4, CANADA. In turn, Francis will send you the name of another individual who wishes to correspond in Klingon. Or, if you would like to correspond with more than one pen-pal please include that fact in your letter.
SERP
A few weeks ago, Rov Dimitri (rov.dimitri@emachine.com) contacted me. He is working on the Starship Enterprise Research Project--a non-authorized attempt to research and authenticate the Original series Enterprise.
Rov advised, "For the Starship Enterprise Research Project (SERP) need the following from The Original Series (TOS):
"(If someone can't directly help the SERP, perhaps they can help us to locate someone that can.)
"TOS fans, nitpickers, collectors, volunteers, researchers.
"TOS Starship Enterprise fans.
"TOS nitpickers that have a better tv than I do (19") or laser disk episode copies to better read signs, buttons in various episode scenes.
"Any kind soul who wants to volunteer assistance to our project such as serving as technical consultant. These professionals could verify any starship technical data based on 20th century technologies."
If you would like to help, contact Rov at his email address. (Sorry, I don't have a postal address at this time!)
Groaners (Hey, Life Can't Be All Springtime and Roses)
What did Picard say when Worf told him, "The shields are failing!"? "Give 'em more homework!"
What do you call a cross between a Ferengi and a Kryptonian? Quark Kent.
What do you do if you accidentally hurt Jennifer Lien's character? Kes her and make it all better.
What did McCoy say when he saw Ensign Pillsbury? He's bread Jim!
The death threats should be sent to: Daniel B. Case, Nick Oven and Richard Steenbergen. (I'm just joking! Well . . . not really. Yes . . yes I am. No, you're not!)