Well . . . the play went well! We’re still putting the technical department back together at church but a good time was had by all. I would have had this column uploaded sooner today but my new computer had a little surprise for me this morning. It decided that it wasn’t going to boot any longer! It was fine last night. This morning, it would just lock up. Ah well. So . . . after ditzing around with it for an hour trying to get it to heal itself, I finally decided that it was time to wipe the hard drive and start over now that I’ve got a lull between projects. I’m bringing it up in stages to try to pin-point the problem that I’ve been having with the video driver so at the moment I only have my Internet stuff running and Microsoft Office (good thing I hadn’t changed the web site over to Front Page yet)! Anyway, it appears that I’m going to accomplish very little of what I intended for this day but some days are like this.
Okay! First, some comments from previous columns . . .
Television Series Cross-Overs
Beginning with Omer Belsky's comments in the 3/20/98 column
Rebecca Bare: In the "Ask the Chief" column two weeks ago, John Bibb said that the actor who played Father Mulcahy on M*A*S*H now plays Odo. He has his actors mixed up. William Christopher was Father Mulcahy, and Rene Auberjonois was on "Benson" before becoming Odo. I just looked in my M*A*S*H trivia book. I guess Rene Auberjonois was in the M*A*S*H movie, and he played a character named Dago Red.
Bullies on the Playground and the End of the Nitpicker's Guides
Beginning with Phil Farrand's comments at the end of the 5/15/98 column
Note from Phil: The July issue of the newsletter went a couple of weeks ago, so many other nitpickers have responded! Unfortunately, I have no time to respond to them individually so just let me say once again that I do appreciate all the kind words and I thank you for them. I'm glad you've enjoyed the work.
Brian: [Concerning Callie Sullivan’s remarks,] JMS DOES love unofficial things. He often visits unofficial/unauthorized B5 pages, and gives them his praise! Sure would be nice if Paul Resier could do the same for my Netpicker's Guide To Mad About You but I digress. On the plus side: this is the first time someone has responded to one of my comments. And I thank her for that. (Note from Phil: Um . . . unfortunately, just because creators like unofficial things, that doesn’t mean they enjoy nitpickers!)
Brian Kelly: I read the news about the Nitpicker's Guides. It was pretty shocking. (BTW, what does a Paramount lawyer have in common with a sperm cell? Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Sorry, sorry. (That was from "Law and Order", by the way.)) It's taken me a while to get over it. On the Star Trek Club's Message Board, I sometimes write stories about an incredibly inept Starfleet captain named Capt. John Silvers (think seafood). The Nitpicker's Guides were a tremendous help for the first adventure. (In one scene, he sits on the Tactical control panel and torpedoes another vessel.) I'm going to miss the Guides. On a related note, I'm considering an upcoming adventure where he gets put on trial by a well-meaning but nitpicking Admiral. I was considering naming him Admiral Farrand. (Note from Phil: I’m honored! ;-)
Hans Thielman: Also, it is too bad you will no longer (at least for the moment) be writing any more nitpicker guide books. I can understand why Paramount would act like an 800 pound gorilla in protecting the Star Trek franchise, but I fail to see why your publisher would so easily knuckle under to that pressure. In my view, the nitpicker guides are analogous to Cliff Notes.
Ed Ouellette: I was sorry to hear about your recent bad news regarding the publication of your books. I have them all and was looking forward to seeing more of them. (As a thought, have you considered doing one on the series "Babylon 5"? The creator seems agreable to letting others use his material (at least as far as web sites go) and might give you an ok. That should satisfy your overzealous lawyer. There is an unauthorized book already on the market, giving synopsis etc. and there doesn't seem to be any problems. Anyway, this was just a thought.)
Angela M Russo: I just read your news on the web page. I'm terribly sorry to hear. Not to be crude, but that just plain sucks.
I only know you through nitpicking, but I gather that you are an honorable man and you deserve only the most success you can get. You're probably right in saying that there are lots of talented writers who will never get published, but my immediate reaction is to be childish and say that I don't know them, I know you, and you deserve more than them. <pouts> :(
Your mood seems good, and I hope it is not just a brave face. I'll keep you in my prayers. You're a good man and you know that the Lord will provide everything you and your family need.
David Dune: In reaction to the shocking news you presented at the end of the Newsletter I'd like to say that I at least would support you if you decided to make nitcentral a profit organization. Cut out the middle man and sell your books to the actual readers themselves. Just sell electronic copies of your books from the nitcentral home page, not only would it cost less for the reader. You'd be saving lots of trees too. (Although with all the nuclear power that is expended by computers you might not be doing the environment a big favor... (c;) BTW, you may be thinking that an electronic version wouldn't be as cost effective, but remember that many people who read the guides will borrow them from a friend anyway. So a little black market distribution is going to happen either way. Or you could do as our friend at http://www.data1701d.com does and sell add space on your web site to promote the sales of other ST books... (Although your comments on other writers may be right, you don't have to be silly about it...)
For free I would gladly do the European distribution, as long as you'd continue writing!!!
Daniel Shearer: I am deeply sorry to hear about the no more guides! I for one got used to them and enjoyed them! I was looking for to seeing one for Voyager, I used to watch star trek and say, wonder if Phil saw that?! what would Phil say? several of my frineds got ahold of my guides and would not put them down! this led to countless hours of checking video tapes. Thanks for showing us that yes those are people walking across the window on the last fly by! we never caught that! We were going to tell you that not only can you see Spocks visage in some of the DS9 themes, but there is a grey alien head in there as well, it's when the comet dust is settling and just left of the center screen at the top, you can clearly see two huge slanted eyes! sorry Phil I had a nit picking relapse! I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear that you won't be doing guides any more-we will miss them! I will also miss the snide remarks on Wesley! You have a brilliant sense of humour and a keen observation on things. Thanks phil you really made our days, I wish you success in all of your endevours and hope that just maybe somehow you will be able to resurrect the guides. Can I strangle your attorney who does'nt seem like she knows a good thing! Best of luck to you Phil!
Mauricio J C Baptista (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil): I am sorry I could not respond to your message sooner. I am shocked by what you said! Even though I have lived in the USA a few years ago, I am still amazed by the power of the so called "lawsuit industry", which now seems to have made one more victm: you.
I have some sugestions for you to work: a - Become a movie and/or TV critic; you are good at that (and that can NOT be deemed as illegal, since every newspaper has at least one); b - What about publishing your books through a company from another country (for example, the UK). Would that still be considered possibly illegal ? c - Another option would be to ensure yourself that what you do is legal. That would be a little more complicated and expensive, but I am sure you can find a publishing company bold enough to publish your books based on a solid legal opinion.
I hope you can get back to the "nitpicking" soon. I (and thousands of your fans from all over the world) will miss the books and e-mails a lot.
I would also like to wish you a lot of good luck, whether in "nitpicking" or any other job. For all the fun you gave us, you deserve the best!
Simon Crowley: Oh, my condolences about those lawyers! Those guys are in a world of their own. Good luck with your novel! Sounds fascinating, and the market for good religious oriented fiction is sadly, too small. Let me know once you get a publisher; I'll be the guy in Edmonton who advance orders a copy. (Note from Phil: I appreciate the interest!)
Bill Ryan & Jenny Bray: We were sad to hear that there'll be no more of your guides, which were so enjoyable. Hopefully, the Guild will continue and prosper, and who knows, all the lawyers might disintegrate tomorrow. Where is Charlie X when we need him?
Keep us posted on these novels of yours. Two customers here.
Alan Exelby: Just a note, really, to say how sorry I was to read your announcement about legal problems, and to wish you all the best in the search for a job. It is very disturbing that major corporations can exert such pressure merely by the threat of legal action even when you know you are not doing anything wrong. I will miss not being able to buy more Nitpicker Star Trek guides in the future.
By the way, I agree with your comments about publication having no connection with the quality of the writing, though (as someone who spends most of his time reading serious history in several languages) I don't especially *mind* a bit of mindless drivel for relaxation, and my own greater concern is with those readers I have encountered who cannot *tell* what is drivel, who *cannot* recognise it for what it is or who think that exercising judgement should be forbidden.
Anyway, I hope your job-search goes well.
Phil: Again, I am very grateful for all the kind words concerning my situation. I’ll keep you informed!
The Death Of Jadzia
Beginning with Matt Greer's comments in the 6/12/98 column
Josh K: I take great exception to the disparaging comments about Voyager which were voiced by Rene Charbonneau (and perhaps others, but I didn't read the entire column). I agree that Deep Space Nine is excellent, and my ire is stirred when I hear many people refusing to give it the respect it deserves. (By the way, who says next season is DS9's last?) But about Voyager: how dare any Trekker not respect it? It has, first of all, a return to the starship-exploring-deep-space element that DS9 could not have (but which hardly made it a poor show). It also has a diverse group of nonhuman crewmembers (including the Doctor), and a great captain whose nerve easily matches that of Kirk, Picard, or Sisko (I base this mainly on the great moment from "Scorpion", in which Janeway talked tough to the Borg Collective). Long live Voyager and DS9. Especially the latter, considering that the possible cancellation of DS9 could leave Voyager the sole defender of our noble STAR TREK banner.
Phil: Now, now . . . everybody has a right to their own opinion around here and now that we’ve heard from both sides of the aisle on this particular issue, I hereby called the discusssion closed! ;-)
The Music For The Movie Trailers of Seven Year In Tibet and Mulan
Beginning with Vince Hamilton's comments in the ac980619.htm
Simon Crowley: In your 7/17 ATC column, you were chatting about reusing movie music in trailers. Well, my nitpicking buddy Jeff and I noticed this: In the main TV trailer for "The X-Files", there is a great operatic bit repeated over and over in the background. The song is titled "O Verona", and it's from 20th Century Fox's 1996 release "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet". (My favorite movie). I own the score for the movie, and I lived and breathed that song for a month last winter. Trust me, it's there. Also, if you go to xfilesmovie.com, there's a background WAV that plays. It's the chorus line of "Escape from Mantua", from--you betcha-- "Romeo + Juliet". There wouldn't be any copyright problems, since Fox did both movies, but it was funny to see/hear.
Sentient Holo-Bunnies and The Death of the Romp
Beginning with Edward Jefferson’s comments in the 7/17/98 Column
Patrick Sweeney: In the 7/17/98 edition, you repsond to Edward Jefferson's question about Holodeck character's being sentient, by sayign maybe they don't want to play, but would rather run off, and do something else, like read. Well in Descent, in the scene with Data playing Poker with Einstein, Hawking, and Newton, the latter asks why he is even playing the game, rather then off doing something more intuitive. Also, in the, gulp, novelization of that episode, the author writes a little bit from perspective of each, and I believe includes more on the topic, along the lines of, Newton feels like his but is glued to the chair, or he is just compelled to play, even though he is still thinking about all the "important stuff". If that's true, and the characters are having personal thoughts, EInstein thinking about e=mc^2, or Hawking thinking about Warp Drive and 20th century phsics while playing, then they would be sentient. Whew. Also, I have recieved a tip that Gowron works at McDonalds in Agawam, MA, go check it out!
Ed Jefferson: Hi, there, it's me again. Once again I am mailiing you about the holodeck! I just read in the Star Trek: Fact Files that the reason the Doctor is sentient is that he is projected using the bio-neural gel packs. These emulate organic brains to some extent. Following on from this, I think all holo- characters on Voyager should be considered as sentient lifeforms. This doesn't explain how Moriaty was sentient. My personal theory is that a hologram is just a simulation of a person. They will do whatever the computer decides that person would do given a certain number of parameters- eg. past experience, available facts, curreent situation. But I guess the creators of trek just do what they want!!!
Sheet Music for The Inner Light Theme
Beginning with Aaron Nadler’s comments in the 7/17/98 Column
Garraway: In reference to the question of where to buy Picard's music from "The
Inner Light"; there is a cheaper alternative. If you have the capabilities
to play (and print out) MIDI files, there are files of the song located on
the net.
Phil: Um . . . the only problem with that is it’s a violation of Paramount’s copyright!
That Big Red Barn in Gettysburg
Beginning with Brian Henley’s comments in the 7/17/98 Column
Phil: No takers on the Big Red Barn?!
In Search of a Photon Topedo Casing
Beginning with Geoffrey M. Hodge comments in the 7/17/98 Column
Phil: Evidently, there are no takers a supplier for a photon torpedo casing either. 24th century weapons manufacturors are just so difficult to locate at times! ;-)
First Mention of the Borg in the Delta Quadrant
Beginning with Joe Buss’s comments in the 7/17/98 Column
Murray Leeder: According to the Companion, the Borg's origin in the Delta Quadrant was established in "Descent" via an on-screen graphic.
Aaron Nadler: In Response to Joe Buss' question about the location of the Borg's homesystem being in the Delta Quadrant, "Descent" was the first instance of the Delta Quad specifically. When Crusher, Picard, and the others are at one of the rear science stations on the bridge, discussing the transwarp conduits, the little graphic has the words "DELTA QUADRANT" labeling the exit points of the conduits.
Scott Newton: In regard to Joe Buss' question about the origin of the Borg: A computer screen in "Descent" shows the Borg as originating from the DQ. They show it when Geordi is trying to trace where the Borg ship went.
On to the questions . . .
Josh K: I was wondering: what do you think of the design of the Sovereign class Enterprise-E (First Contact)? I think it's one of the most aesthetically beautiful ship designs Starfleet has made to this point. I certainly consider it much better-looking than the Galaxy class, which I have never particularly liked because (a)its saucer section is too elliptical, and (b)the secondary hull is flattened and disproportionately small. I thought the new Sovereign class would be universally popular among Trekkies (and I expect that I'm not the only one who eagerly awaits its appearance on DS9), but I recently noticed that some Trekkers on the Internet are laughing at it and calling it "an obvious cross between the Intrepid (Voyager) and Excelsior designs." Disregarding the aesthetic beauty of the Sovereign class, someone should remind these cynics that the Sovereign class has performed magnificently so far; in First Contact, if the Sovereign-class Enterprise-E had not withstood several direct hits by the Borg Cube (and led the rally that destroyed it) and then withstood assimilation by the Queen and her drones, the Federation would have been destroyed.
Phil: Well, to be honest, um, it’s "fine" as far as I’m concerned but I happen to like the Galaxy-class better.
Philip McGachey (Scotland): Does anyone have a list of IRC servers and channels dedicated to discussing Trek?
Phil: I don’t! Anybody? ;-)
Lara: This is about one of the pocket books, and I don't know whether you go there...
In the first one (I think; this is what happens when one buys a whole pile of books and tends to then continue reading until done...) of the captain's tables, there is a translation device named the "Hayden-Elgin" translator/doodad. So my question is, is this a nod to Suzette Haden-Elgin's _Native Tongue_ books (which of course are about the issue of translating languages), and if so, do they know they misspelled it?
Phil: Couldn’t tell ya! But . . . it wouldn’t surprise me. Those kind of little mistakes just seem to slip through!
[From Someone identified only as Tushiee]: Hello. I just wanted to ask about the Ken and Barbie edition of the X-Files dolls. I watched Connan O'brian on friday, and heard that the dolls were recalled. Duchovany did not like the hair. I rushed out and tracked one down in Hollywood. I haven't seen anything else about it, but I was told in several toy stores that this did actually happen. I paid a lot for the dolls, have I been suckered?
Phil: Haven’t heard that! Anybody? (Our church did have a beanie baby swap meet a few weeks ago and there was someone selling the X-File Ken and Barbie for $65. Is that a good price?)
Allen Mark: I'm not sure if you still are interested in this topic, but having read Ghost Ship by Diane Carey, (Book No 1 in the Next Gen series) there is an explination of Worfs appearance which might settle the argument, or make it start up again:-)
"Worf's big brown face didn;t look in the least bit apologetic, givbent the particularly animalistic texture by the riblike cranium of his Klinzhai racial background, thetrain which had emerged dominant during the last Klingon purge"
So there it is , one paragraph explains the whole thing, that's only if you count a book as canon or not.
Phil: Too bad Paramount doesn’t use some of their novel-writers to solve some of their problems! ;-)
Murray Leeder: I won't be able to read the response for a few weeks, but: does anyone out there know what was the make of the gun Mr. X wielded in "One Breath"? It is written in the first Official X-Files Companion, but I seem to have misplaced mine.
Phil: And mine is packed away! (When the Nitpicker’s Guides ended, I put all my reference materials in a box!) Let’s see—doing this strictly from memory—I believe that it was a Sig-Sauer but I can’t recall the model number (226, maybe?)
Have a great weekend, everybody!
If you would like to submit a question or comment, send it to: chief@nitcentral.com with "Ask the Chief" or "Question" in the Subject line. (Remember the legalese: Everything you submit becomes mine and you grant me the right to use your name in any future publication by me.)
Copyright 1998 by Phil Farrand. All rights reserved.